Survivor's sexy swimsuit calendar
Somehow they even made Joel look more like a hunk than a Hulk and that's not an easy task!
But I was thinking ... why limit the sexy Survivors to just the current season? After all, there have been so many sexy castaways over the years. So I looked around for the ones who dazzled me with their pure dripping sexiness. Oh, it was hard to narrow it to twelve, but that's all I had to work with, so please forgive me.Make sure you peruse the gallery above, but I refuse to be held liable for any stalking issues or if the Survivors must file restraining orders to keep you away. I'm only the messenger here, not anything more. Please do not tell how much these castaways excite you in graphic detail. I hold them high on my pedestal of love. I revere them.
Here are my choices and why I chose them:
January - Chris Daugherty, winner of Survivor Vanuatu. Now, not any picture of Chris will do it, but this one is so special that he had to lead off my year! I love chocolate! What? That's not chocolate? No, you're wrong. It's obviously gourmet chocolate and he's so sexy in the photo!
February - Maralyn "Mad Dog" Hershey might not have chocolate other than a possible name connection, but she's a hunk of a woman. Alas, I couldn't find my favorite Mad Dog moment preserved in any image on the internet. But let me tell you why she's so sexy -- she takes out her teeth for food challenges! A woman with gums! Could you ask for anything more? She was a gem from Survivor Australia.
March - Oh, sure ... the widget used Jonny Fairplay in their calendar because he made it through one episode this season. But how could I resist his manliness, his charisma, his ruggedly handsome face, and his carved abs? Pardon me while I weep because he's already taken and I'm pining for him!
April - Cirie Fields was truly "hott" as she went through Survivor Panama mostly in her ragged dirty bra and panties! Once again, I couldn't find the picture I wanted, but this one will suffice. Oh, but those panties and bra were a wonder to behold!
May - This is my personal number one -- Richard Hatch, the fat naked gay guy who won it all in the first season and returned to All-Stars to scare Sue Hawk with his hunk o' manly stuff! There hasn't been a naked guy on the show who could beat Richard's shtick since season one! He's the original!
June - Angie from Survivor Palau has it all! Acne, nose studs, giant tattoos, and some meat on those bones! Gentlemen ... gentlemen ... please control yourselves, especially if you're in your place of business!
July - Shane! Shane! Come home, Shane! Come home to mama! Shane Powers of Survivor Panama is a vision of physical perfection and he's such a gentleman, too. "Can you check my crotch? Something's wrong there." Ah, memories of Shane drive me insane in the membrane.
August - It's two, two, two hotties at once! Twila and Scout from Survivor Vanuatu grace the month of August. Oh, I don't know if my heart can stand it --Twila in all her sexiness with her t-shirt and Scout with her age spots and knee replacement scar just drive me wild!
September - You say "sexy" and I say "Rupert's the man!" Now, no one wants some puny little punk boy. What we need is a real man, a man with facial hair, a man with the look of the wild in his persona! A hunka-hunka man indeed! Be still my fluttering heart! He hails from Survivor Pearl Islands and then All-Stars.
October - Sure, some men like that schoolgirl look when it comes to sexy. But there's more appeal in a mature woman wearing a boy scout uniform, don't you think? Lillian from Survivor Palau wouldn't wear anything else but that kinky sexy boy scout uniform. No, I can't be responsible if she drives you mad with lust!
November - Now I'm torn. Chicken from Survivor China or Rupert? Both at once? Hey! I'm not that crazy! But there's something about a chicken farmer named Chicken with a physique like that. He's quite the rooster, isn't he?
December - It's the triple play! Mullet mama Denise complete with her sagging ankle socks, Todd the gay waif hobbit, and Courtney, the living skeleton. You can't tell me there's not something for everyone in December! They all hail from Survivor China, what a season for the sexy!
|Chris Daugherty||2 (3.7%)|
|Mad Dog||2 (3.7%)|
|Jonny Fairplay||1 (1.9%)|
|Cirie Fields||1 (1.9%)|
|Richard Hatch||1 (1.9%)|
|Shane Powers||1 (1.9%)|
|None ... you missed (tell us in comments)||9 (16.7%)|