(S19E12) "Happy Valentine's Day, and shut your gum" -- Homer Simpson.

No complaints about The Simpsons scheduling (although it's terribly erratic) or debates with myself on continuity (Rich: You bastard. Now I have nothing to do this week). Let's get right to this week's programme, which featured three different stories of love.

Story Bridge -- Homer actually does something nice for Valentine's Day and takes Marge, Bart and Lisa to the carnival, where the kids run free. This gives Homer and Marge some quality time in the Tunnel of Love. I have never been in a Tunnel of Love before, so I will have to take as fact that it features scary creatures dropped from the ceiling to allow couples to hug each other for comfort.

Course, not all goes as planned. And, in a very rare occurrence (this season, at least) of Bart's impish side he decides to mess things up for Homer and Marge by pouring gelatin into the Tunnel of Love's river. The result: Homer and Marge get stuck and end up telling pop-culture-related stories about love.

Bonnie and Clyde -- Marge is Bonnie and Homer is Clyde. This was an interesting little tale because, even though it was for laughs, it did prove the point that sex and violence are strange bedfellows. I found this segment to be the weakest of the three stories. Possibly because it was shorter than the other two and because it came right after the bridge opening. I did like a few things, though, like Burns and Allen portraying Bonnie & Clyde on a radio show, and the racially insensitive cartoon featuring the Woody Woodpecker-like Robby Robin (and, not to get too technical on everyone's tushie, but I don't think they made too many color cartoons back in 1933). The end scene was a take-off of how Bonnie and Clyde eventually perished in real life and in the movies, except with Marge and Homer talking about their relationship as they were pelted by hundreds of bullets. I thought Bonnie's mention that they should see other people at that point was pretty amusing..

Shady and the Vamp -- "You're pretty feisty for a upper-class bitch." -- Homer as Shady

A play on Disney's Lady and the Tramp was the strongest story of the three and, being serious, could have been a whole episode in itself. I can't recall if I have ever seen The Simpsons as animorphic characters before, but it was a bit weird to see them all as dogs. Having said that, it was actually quite sweet as Shady was ready to be with the Vamp (Marge), then had second thoughts, then rescued his puppies from the evil dog catcher. There were a number of elements from Lady in this story, including the scene where the two dogs share a spaghetti dinner together. With Homer being Homer, no matter what shape he takes, he fought for his food and accidentally sucked Vamp's head into his mouth when they shared the same spaghetti strand.

There was also a musical number during this installment--something we have barely seen at all this season. Again, even though it was for laughs, I thought that it was done very well. Also appearing in animorphic form were Moe as Shady's bulldog friend, Selma and Patty as a pair of Siamese cats, and Bart and Lisa as the puppies. Also making an appearance was Goofy (or someone like Goofy), who was unfortunately gassed by the dog catcher. Luckily (I guess) Goofy survived and said the whole ordeal was better than working for Disney.

Sid and Nancy Vicious -- "The Sex Grahams Featuring Billy Pistol" -- Sign at the San Antonio Arena displaying the show after The Sex Pistols and Billy Graham

Bart is Johnny Rotten and Nelson is Sid Vicious. But, of course. Also appearing in this take-off of Sid and Nancy was Lisa in the role of spelling bee champion Nancy Spungen. The drug of choice: chocolate in all of its forms. This was a pretty entertaining chapter, with a number of stereotypical references to London of the 1970's. I liked how Johnny was spitting apple juice into the crowd rather than something stronger. The best line of the night was when Sid and Nancy were kicked out of CBGB's--Comic Book Guy's Bar. Damn, why didn't I think of that reference sooner? Frankly, I was ready for Comic Book Guy to spit out "Worst. Concert. Ever."

Overall, this was a decent episode of The Simpsons. I tend to like the trilogies that they present once or twice a season (except for the most recent Treehouse of Horror episodes...Yuck) since it gives the writers a chance to work outside of the confines of Springfield. This time around they seemed to focus on the stories themselves rather than overload them with gags as they tend to do. The result were some pretty nice stories.

Next week--nothing. The next time we meet will be on March 2nd.