America's Next Top Model: Welcome to Top Model Prep (season premiere)
(S10E01) It seems like only yesterday I was making fun of the "corpse bride" Jenah's slightly crooked teeth, and Victoria's all too annoying superiority complex during cycle 9 of America's Next Top Model.
While I'll miss the crazy group of girls we had last year, I'm absolutely thrilled that I've got a whole new group of people to poke fun at with cycle 10.
Unfortunately, the season premiere of the show is always a bit of a bust in my eyes because we already know who's going to make it on the show thanks to posts like this. Regardless, I'll try my best to keep this as interesting as possible.
The episode got underway with Tyra doing one of her famously bad voice overs where she counted down the top nine events that have occurred in the last 9 cycles.
9. Dramatic cat fights.
8. Tearful makeovers.
7. Stressful medical emergencies.
6. Scary runway spills.
5. Fierce plus-sized models.
4. High-flying photo shoots.
3. Critter encounters.
2. Amazing Jays
1. And the fact that there can only be America's Next Top Model in a pear tree.
Afterwards, we were quickly introduced to several of the models starting with Katarzyna.
The first thing I thought was, "Oh no! Don't tell me we already have another Yale on her hands!" Only this time she's going to go by the name of Cornell. The first thing Katarzyna mentioned was that she went to an Ivy league school, and that she thinks she'll have an edge up on the other girls because of this. We all saw how well that worked out for Victoria didn't we? On another note, I don't look forward to spelling Katarzyna's name for the next two months so I hope she gets eliminated first despite the fact that I find it extraordinarily attractive. Scratch that--I'll just suffer through it.
We also discovered that Marvita is back and she's been working on herself by going to therapy sessions every Tuesday. I'm a big proponent of individuals getting therapy as I think we've all got a few mental issues we could get out. I can't quite remember why Marvita didn't make the cut last year, but I'm happy to see her back. Oh wait, it's coming back to me now. She was absolutely insane. Also, with some of the outbursts she had later in the show, I think she should also be seeing someone for her anger issues. I'm sure we'll talk about this plenty of more times as the season progresses.
Afterwards, we jumped right into a class of Runway 101 taught by the always entertaining Miss Jay Alexander, only for some reason Jay didn't seem quite as snarky as he's been in seasons past. Yes, he made fun of Lauren for walking like she has no circulation in her feet, and he poked at fun at Fatima for having a lot to learn. Outside of that, he didn't have all that much to say about the girls. I hope Miss Jay hasn't lost his flair this cycle.
The most interesting part of Runway 101 was watching this years Natasha (Anya) talk about waking up each morning and taking an hour to breathe because she is so consumed with being a model. If she's half as fun as Natasha was, she's definitely going to be a cool one to follow this cycle.
I also interesting to note that Anya is from Hawaii but the manner in which she speaks makes it sound as if she's from Uzbekistan or some other European nation. That's why I made the Natasha reference above. I was positive she was foreign (and I'm guessing she could still be).
The Celebration of Top Model Preparatory
Furanda and Joanie from cycle 6, Michele & Amanda from cycle 7 (who never did much for me I must say), and Jael from cycle 8 made an appearance during the celebration of Top Model Preparatory. Jay Manuel also revealed that the competition was headed back to New York City which caused the group to erupt in an Oprah's audience like squeal of approval.
Then, Miss Overdramatic made her entrance to another ridiculous squeal from the girls that sounded like a thousand pigs being massacred in a slaughter house simultaneously. My ears are actually still ringing.
We got another introduction, and her name was...holy what the crap? Is she really wearing that shirt out in front of the panel? Dominique is sporting more cleavage than the latest Saw movie and her tan looks as thought it was sprayed on by a pressure washer. I had to go back and double check the "who made it post," and yes, she's definitely on the list. I'm stunned.
Tonight, we already had out first altercation instigated by Fatima who called a girl named Shaya ghetto. Shalynda also got into a verbal shouting match with Fatima about Shalynda's bitchiness. Later all the girls make up once they learn that Fatima, who is from Somalia, had a female circumcision performed on her when she was just seven years old. This will make it so that she can never have sex with a man. This will also make it so JJ does not write a solitary negative thing about Fatima all season long. I can't even imagine how terrible that must have been for her.
Can I go ahead and mention that this season's "My Life as a CoverGirl" commercials are light years better than those monstrosities Jaslene was involved with last year. For one, Saleisha is smoking hot. Secondly, she actually knows how to speak. It's not going to be as fun watching them this year since I can't rip the commercials like i did last season, but Saleisha being easy on the eyes and ears makes up for it.
A couple of more points on a few of the models.
Lauren is totally this season's Heather without the whole could-go-as-Lurch-for-Halloween-without-dressing-up factor. I guarantee she's going to be the person who wins America's CoverGirl of the week the entire season since she has that awkward, everygirl appeal that people seemed to like about Heather last cycle.
And the funniest moment of the night goes to Jenah and her description of how she would pimp out her Impala SS if she won the 100K. Jenah didn't actually make it into the top 14, but I kind of wish she did. With that expression, that accent, and that description of her ride, I know she would have made for some entertaining TV.
All in all, this had to be one of the most bizarre introduction shows I've seen on a Top Model cycle. We've got an individual from Hawaii who sounds like she has a European accent, a busty, tanned potential transvestite, and an outspoken victim of female circumcision who all the girls have a great deal of compassion for. Oh yeah, and Claire also drinks her own breast milk.
I think that's a pretty good place to stop for the night.
Until next time...
|Stacy Ann||18 (4.1%)|