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Super Skank Wednesday: Bret's real reasons, Flav's restaurant, and a Tanisha remix - VIDEO

by Kristin Sample, posted Feb 27th 2008 10:01AM
Bret and Ambre Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Love New York (or whatever show Tiffany Pollard is making next), The Surreal Life, and Charm School. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After the jump, I delve into The Nitty Gritty: The Real Reasons Behind Bret's Eliminations, How to Run a Successful Restaurant: Flavor of Love Style , and Tanisha: The Remix.

The Nitty Gritty: The Real Reasons Behind Bret's Eliminations

You know how at the end of each Backstage pass ceremony, Bret calls down the rejected skanks and tries to explain his decision to them as they sniffle and squint through their runny make-up? You know how he almost always says something nice about them and tries to be diplomatic about turning them down? You know how that's a pile of crap and you'd rather know what he's really thinking?

Skanks in the limoLook no further because here's the real reasons Bret got rid of the skanks. Brace yourself. I'm about to BREAK. THIS. DOWN.

What he said: He told her that had it been a different place and different time, they might have had something.
What he meant: You little skank, shame on you for coming on this show for a DARE. Don't toy with my delicate rockstar heart like that.

What he said: He told her that they only had a short time together on the show. He felt she could've made more of her time by using her V.I.P. pass she won in the dance competition.
What he meant: Clearly, you didn't get the memo that Rock of Love is about skanks throwing themselves at me and showing me their boobies.

What he said: He felt she was a little too free-spirited and he's been down that road before.
What he meant: You're a whore.

What he said: He didn't get to know her as much as he got to know the other girls.
What he meant: You have a mullet and it scares me.

What he said: He doesn't want to lose her as a friend. (OUCH!)
What he meant: You're haggard looking. Go buy some waterproof mascara.

Okay, that's all I got. Feel free to add in your own in the comments (maybe some about last season's Rock of Love).

Flav in his crownHow to Run a Sucessful Restaurant: Flavor of Love Style

1. Get a reindeer. A giant plastic one will do. I don't even know if you have to even serve food if you have a reindeer as part of your decor. "Could I tell you something? I love reindeers, man." So answered Flav when Merrill asked if the enormous reindeer jived with the Mardi Gras theme of Grayvee's restaurant.

2. Don't put too much salt in the food.
After tasting Bunz's gumbo, Merrill remarked, "It's salty to the point where I'm glad I have something to drink." I wonder what Tom Colichio or Gordon Ramsay would have thought, Bunz.

3. Don't have your servers wear lingerie. Flav seemed to enjoy Myammee's outfit but still wants his eatery to be family-friendly: "Coming out in my restaurant in lingerie. THAT'S NOT FOR A CHILD."

4. Do serve Henessey or any other expensive libation . It's a family establishment but it's also a Flav establishment.

5. For Pete's sake, spell his name correctly. Stupid skanks! The girl who spelled his name wrong was one of the skanks who was there when he spelled it himself. Sheesh.

Tanisha: The Remix

Before I bid you adieu, here is a remix of Tanisha's reverie one fateful morning in the Bad Girls mansion. I must point out that Jennavesica peed in the kitchen sink multiple times before this retaliation. The two titans of skank got into a physical fight a few episodes later. I watched this video four times in one day. I even made my parents watch it. They were not amused but I guarantee you will be.

The Bad Girls Club - Tanisha "Get The F*** Up (Remix)" - Click here for this week's top video clips

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Kristin Sample

@BxBurlesque: "which his wife might object to." Amazing.

And the hair? I know. It totally looks like a wig.

February 28 2008 at 9:54 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Is there any hair under that rag Bret wears on his head. He even wears it to sleep. Little suspicious. Also, does he need all that mascara?

February 27 2008 at 2:22 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bx Burlesque

Last season, when Bret told Sam what he'll eventually tell Kristy Jo, something about it getting harder and their being fragile, what he really meant/ will mean is "You are a crazy clingy psycho, and while I want a Rock of Love for ratings purposes, you're going to actually want to be my girlfriend, which my wife might object to."

Or something like that.

February 27 2008 at 12:58 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Bx Burlesque's comment

I just assumed the hair was attached to the bandanna...

February 27 2008 at 10:37 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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