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August 31, 2015

Super Skank Wednesday: A photo essay

by Kristin Sample, posted Mar 5th 2008 10:02AM
Destiney Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Love New York (or whatever show Tiffany Pollard is making next), The Surreal Life, and Charm School. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After the jump check out my photo essay on Destiney from Rock of Love 2, Random thoughts on Flavor of Love 3 (it's really just more photo essay), and some final nuggets for you to puzzle over. Enjoy and a very happy Super Skank Wednesday to you!

Destiney: A Photo Essay
or What the hell does Bret Michaels see in that harlot?

One of the greatest things about VH1's programming is that we are given a rare opportunity to delve into the psyche of has-been celebrities. For example, a while back I was haunted by the following question: "What exactly does Flavor Flav like about that wench New York?" This week I'll explore the connection between Bret Michaels and the unseemly Destiney. Every week I see no evidence of her merit and yet, every week she gets called down to get her pass (many times she gets called first or second). I offer the following photo essay to help solve this mystery.

It must be her awesome outfits. Let's take the one below for instance. Here, Destiney's outfit (which as you can see includes fishnet stockings, a rose, and even wristlets) makes both Daisy and Jessica look rather modest. Some might even say classy? I feel like Destiney should get up and start her own rendition of "Big Spender." What a whore.

If not the clothes, maybe it's her awesome headgear. (I think I might try the sequined fedora and pigtails combination. Very sophisticated.) Or perhaps she and Bret bond over their love of bandanas?
Destiney in her bandana

Destiney rocks her sequined fedora for eliminations.
Nope, it's got to be her sweet dance moves. (Okay, she's not really dancing in this picture but just pretend like she is. It's funnier that way.)
Destiney dances.
Destiney and Megan's boobs
Maybe it's her impeccable sense of propriety. She's interrupted a date, screamed at the dinner table, and stripped at a USO performance.

She also makes insane facial expressions like the one pictured at the right. Bret will never have to wonder what's going on in Destiney's mind. I think here she's thinking, "Did Megan fart? Whoa, that is rancid." Maybe she's thinking something else. Feel free to leave a caption in the comments.

So, I think I answered my own question. What do you think? If Destiney is worth Bret's time, we sure haven't gotten too much evidence of it on the show. But, then again, Seabiscuit mullet queen stayed around for weeks without even having a date with the rocker.

Random Thoughts on Flavor of Love 3
or An Excuse To Do Another Photo Essay

For Flavor of Love 3 this week, I only have some casual observations to share. Well, it's more of a roast in keeping with Monday's competition. Please leave any of your thoughts about the season so far in the comments.

Let's start with Sinceer. What is with this girl's gigantic forehead? That thing has it's own weather system, I swear. If ever there was a reason to wear bangs...
Sinceer and her forehead
Hotlanta was examined by a doctor to see if the bump on her lip was a pimple or a herpes outbreak. I don't even have a joke for this one. But Shy, never without a quip, said that if Hotlanta was diagnosed with the "jerps" on the show, her only options for a TV career would be Valtrex commercials. Okay, that wasn't that funny either.
Hotlanta covers her herpe
And what does Flav see in the twins? Just like the storybook characters for which they are named, Thing 1 and Thing 2 are so nosy and annoying. Do you guys like them?
The original Thing 1 and Thing 2
Thing 1 and Thing 2 with Flav
Other nuggets for your consideration...
  • Daisy's last name is de la Hoya and yep, she's related to Oscar (his niece in fact). Maybe she took those compromising pictures of him wearing womens' clothing. Daisy also enjoys the blow or just posing with white powder and empty drug vials. Check out her MySpace page for the picture. It's the first one and it's her giving the finger while straddling a silver platter of coke and holding a Jack Daniels bottle. And her vi-jayjay is partially showing. You can also listen to some of her music while you're there. Whatever.
  • Megan doesn't like new words. Words indeed can be confusing and we do end up using them most days.
  • Bu-bye Urkanian love tank. Inna doesn't get a tribute though like the one I did for that streetwalker Angelique. Not skanky enough for an obituary. Skanky, of course. But you have to really special to get a tribute on Super Skank Wednesday.
  • Bee-Ex was on one episode of Fear Factor. She almost got eliminated though the devious work of Thing 1 and Thing 2 (who seem to have Flav by his Thing 1 and Thing 2).
  • Hotlanta does NOT have the "jerps" but has 3 kids by 2 different men. Not 3 kids by 3 different men as was mentioned in the roast. Cause that would just be slutty.
  • Grayvee likes pigs feet...and got sent home because of it.

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Kristin Sample

@ Jen: As you can see, I am horribly addicted myself. It's good stuff. I laughed at my own ridiculousness when I found myself switching between Rock of Love and the Masterpiece Theatre version of Mansfield Park.

Someone left a comment (but maybe didn't activate it when they got the email) about Grayvee and the nasty pigfeet. I have NO IDEA what possessed her to make that for Flav. He even told her that he hated them. That was definitely the nail in her coffin. And Flav always says he likes the country girls (i.e. Goldie) but never keeps them all that long.

March 06 2008 at 12:02 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Those pigfeet that Grayvee made looked DISGUSTING

March 06 2008 at 10:13 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I'm horribly addicted to Rock of Love and all i have to say is Megan is a dippy bitch. Ok that's not all I have to say - I think while yes, Kristy Jo needs to deal with her issues, the rest of the girls hate her because besides the emotional baggage KJ has - she's the most sane of the bunch. Jessica maybe too.. not really sure. She just seems kind of clueless.

like i said. horribly. addicted.

March 05 2008 at 10:30 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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