Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Love New York (or whatever show Tiffany Pollard is making next), The Surreal Life, and Charm School. Basically, I'll discuss the shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After the jump I have some Fun Facts on Megan Hauserman: Serial Reality Star, Operation Focus: Thing 1 and Thing 2's Masterplan, and The Dos and Don'ts of Telling a Flav Bedtime Story

So there was no Rock of Love 2 on this Sunday. The next episode, "Video Vixens" will air Sunday March 16th at the regular time. But just because we didn't get our weekly dose of Bret goodness, doesn't mean we can't still celebrate Super Skank Wednesday. Let's talk about that whore Megan. Why is she still here? Oh, yeah, she has an American flag bikini that she parades around in. I can't wait for it to come out that she was on Beauty and the Geek. She is totally there for TV. Don't you think so?

Let's get to know her better. Shall we?

• Originally from Boca Raton, FL, Megan currently resides in Chicago. According to wikipedia (the highest authority on such things as reality TV skanks), she graduated from high school in 2000 and college in 2005. She has an accounting degrees from the University of Illinois, a degree that took five years to get by my math. Maybe she took a year off to get her boobs done.
  
• Speaking of boobs, a simple search for Megan's name will yield some nude pictures. I hesitate to put the link in here because SSW likes to keep it classy. But you know where to find them. You know how to use Google. I will say this though. Whoever put in her breast implants needs to get his / her eyes checked. Or maybe the surgeon should look at some pictures of real boobs just to check where the nipples go. And that's all I have to say about that!
  
• Why can you see Megan's naked boobies and other naughty parts online? She's a Playboy model. In fact, in 2006, she was voted Playboy Cybergirl of the Week.
  
• After showing off her goodies, Megan appeared on season 3 of Beauty and the Geek, the CW reality-competition show created by Ashton Kutcher. Moreover, she and her partner Scooter won the show and were voted most changed by their fellow castmates.
  
• In an interview with buddytv.com Megan said that she would go to Disneyland and get her hair done (presumably not at Disneyland) with her winnings from Beauty and the Geek. When asked of her plans for the future, she said, "I'm gonna train myself to rotate evenly while I'm tanning." I think she was being funny there. But one can never be sure with a skank.
  
• Also on buddytv.com, I found an article about Megan back when she was cast in Rock of Love 2. Of going on Bret's show, she said, "I think that I was born to be a rock star girlfriend. I was! I can't even help it. It's like a calling, like, nurses...I mean nuns...they feel a calling, they have to go to the convent. That's me! I feel it! It's calling me. It's meant to be. I can't even help it." Whatever. So you're calling is to be a big whore on reality TV? I'd ignore that one.

Anyway, Operation Focus was completed on Monday night. After swearing she was never on TV other than her stint on Fear Factor, Flav discovered Bee-Ex was on Oprah as Usher's biggest fan and that she went out on a date with the singer. Can you blame her? Flav vs. Usher? Skank or no skank, that's a no-brainer.


This week the skanks had to entertain small children in Flav's livingroom by creating their own bedtime story. They were split into three teams; each team got a few costumes and had to build the story around those costumes.

In case you're ever in this situation (you know, in case you ever find yourself vying for the heart of an old rapper who wears large clocks), here are some ground rules...

1. Don't forget to wear underwear. Bunz traumatized her young audience by bending over and revealing an ass only clothed in fishnet stockings. And Bunz has a huge ass. So that was a lot of trauma for those children. They should send VH1 their therapy bills. She said she had on a thong but come on, with an ass the size of South Dakota, you might want to try something with more coverage.

2. Do wear a donkey outfit. Thing 1 and Thing 2 put on a donkey costume and pretty much did nothing else but march in place. They even decided which foot would go first while they practiced. I thought it was dumb. I think the twins are dumb and I definitely don't see what Flav likes about them (other than the twins thing, obviously). The kids seemed to like it though.

3. Do hand out pots and pans. Seesinz came out and gave pots and pans to all the children (well, most of them). She then told everyone to bang on the kitchenware at different parts of the story. The kids actually looked pretty engaged. And I realized, Seesinz isn't that much of a stupid skank after all.

4. Don't writhe around on the floor in a mermaid costume. Herpes girl, er, I mean Hotlanta resorted to rolling around on the floor during her performance. Sure, she was playing a mermaid but that was raunchy. Now, Flav didn't seem to mind. The kids looked a little turned off. And me? Well I was just plain grossed out. So I guess this rule is more for me than anyone else.

If you have anything to add to the Super Skank Wednesday celebration, leave it in the comments. And until next week, Happy Super Skank Wednesday!