(S02E03) "Alright, I'll ice up a nipple and start chatting." - Willa

Well that episode was out there. It brought back some old faces, introduced a few new ones, and split off into two wildly different tangents. On one side we saw a new side of Lucy as she aimed to bring down a past Dirt Now target while at the same time we saw Don placed in a situation that would have bee much more amusing had he stopped taking his medication.

Gallery: Dirt - Season Two

Prince Tyrese (Rick Fox) was thrown back into Lucy's life at an LA fundraiser and for whatever reason, it set her off. It's not that I'm against it, but these spurts where we see Lucy "care" can be a little awkward sometimes. For those that didn't see the first season, Prince was a star NBA player. Lucy blackmailed him with pictures of him having sex with a woman who wasn't his wife, but it got worse. Even though he's an NBA player, I'll make a baseball analogy. In those pictures, Prince wasn't doing the pitching.

Lucy wanted info on music mogul Tweety McDaniel and Prince had no choice but to deliver. Tweety found out and caned Prince's legs, ending his career. So now it's a year later and Prince is happy, at peace with what happened and Lucy decides to take down Tweety since she feels responsible. I think the one thing that really struck me about all this, and Willa pointed it out, was that this story had no value for Dirt Now. This guy wasn't in the news and a headline featuring his name wouldn't help to sell any extra issues. That's extremely rare for Lucy, to see her put the magazine second.

What followed was downright hilarious. After bribing numerous lady friends of Tweety's, Lucy finally ended up in a hotel room with Tweety and his illegitimate daughter. Then he lit himself on fire while smoking crack. Dead? Not sure. But he was definitely unconscious. The difference between me and Lucy is that I don't care. Tweety was a minor character to begin with and I had completely forgotten about him. I would have preferred to see a new scandal involving Prince. The fact that he's now on crutches would have added to the humor of any new sex scandal.

Speaking of sex scandals, Don ended up in a dungeon that I'm sure has a history of 'em. Sharon Lawrence guest starred as an actor turned politician with what I think was a blending of Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Nancy Pelosi, but I could be wrong. While this was written and shot months ago, the current Eliot Spitzer scandal would have fit in quite nicely as inspiration too.

So anyway, Don got kidnapped by Lawrence's nutbag son and was then tortured in the family sex dungeon. Chains, leather, cigarette burns, etc. Then mom and dad showed up and we spent the hour witnessing how dysfunctional a family can really be. Don stole the scene from all of them though. Bleeding, burned, and scarred, he found the composure to actually care about these people and even played the role of psychiatrist, doling out free advice. They eventually let him go, but what happens now? Don didn't tell Lucy about it and he still has a camera full of pictures in that dungeon right? My guess is that he stays quiet. I think he saw a little bit of himself in the son.

In the third storyline, Brent returned and continued his crusade to get Lucy fired - same as he tried to do at the beginning of the first season. This time it looks as though he may have succeeded. Brent made a deal with a wealthy, womanizing billionaire to buy Dirt Now and fire Lucy. I don't see it happening though. Despite rich boy's desire to examine Brent's nether regions before any deal was discussed (not sure why), he still came across as a savvy businessman. Once he sees how well Lucy runs the mag, there's no way he fires her. The guy likes to make money, not lose it.

More random thoughts. Since I was fortunate to receive a screener DVD with the first two "rough cut" episodes, this was the first one I actually watched on TV. Two things struck me. I love the direction the new season is taking, but that new theme song (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? Really?) is terrible. Secondly, what happened to Don's humorous "Previously on Dirt" recaps? Those were one of the best parts of season one! Bring 'em back!