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October 9, 2015

The top 25 things that only happen on TV, according to our readers - Part 2

by Isabelle Carreau, posted Mar 24th 2008 3:01PM
A few weeks ago, I posted the list of things that only happen on TV. You wrote really great comments which triggered me to write a post about the things you, the TV Squad readers, think only happen on TV. What I didn't expect then was the amount of replies this second article would get. You provided some fantastic and funny items to add to the list. So here we go with part two of the things that TV Squad readers think only happen on TV.

Shopping, gifts and Christmas
  • Ever notice how no one ever unwraps a gift? They just lift off the pre-wrapped and bowed lid off the box. - Ravin
  • The gifts are always wrapped as if professional wrappers had wrapped them! - Isabelle Carreau
  • If a movie or TV show happens on Christmas, there is always tons of snow and it snows on Christmas Day. - Dawn
  • Anytime someone has a bag of groceries you will always see a loaf of French bread sticking out of the bag. - Mike
  • In a bar, people just ask for and get "a beer". Have you ever been to a bar? There are more kinds of beer than you can drink! - mamashake
Cars and traveling
  • Not only do the tires screech on wet streets, they also screech on unpaved dirt-roads. - Nicolas Graf
  • In 24, you can get anywhere within the Los Angeles city limits in 30 minutes. - Dev
  • Cars ALWAYS blow up after they get in a wreck or roll down a hill. And no one, except the hero survives a car wreck. - kim akins
  • Children are always happily off playing in their own rooms, never annoying their parents. - Dawn
  • And if the adults suddenly need to go out, then the children will be fine there by themselves, no sitter mentioned. - Argus
  • In sitcoms, in-laws are always dreaded, annoying people. - ayawi
  • People can fall head-over-heels in love with someone that tried killing them an hour ago. - ayawi
  • Clothes are never worn twice. - tcheema
  • All women can run in 4" heels. - Cubbie
  • No one ever gets calls from telemarketers! - Cubbie
Rooms and furniture
  • All bedrooms have a special lighting system installed so that, when the main light is turned off, a soft spotlight automatically comes on and shines directly on the bed and its occupants. - pumpkinhead
  • People always turn on the TV at the exact moment their news story is on. - Mike
  • When sitting in the kitchen guests always come through the unlocked back door, which happens to open into, you guessed it, the kitchen. But when the same people are sitting in the den, those same guests come in through the front door. - Gary
  • Aliens all speak English (although usually with fake British accents). - Metroid Prime
  • And when aliens speak in their own language they do so in the worst grammar possible, as if their mother was an online translator. - Rafita
  • Anything typed on a computer requires one's fingers to fly in all directions at 120 wpm, even if you're just typing the date. - Jen
  • When someone is using the computer they start doing rapid keyboarding and they can create various effects from graphic design to moving spy satellites all from rapidly pushing random keys on the keyboard. - Michael
  • My favorite is the 'unlimited-zoom' and the accompanying 'boop-boop-boop' sound effects on shows where the police need to zoom in on grainy surveillance video and sharpen the features of the criminals in the act. Wish my copy of Photoshop could pull out details like that, it would make my life a lot easier. - chucklehead
  • A Palm Treo is capable of being sent ANY piece of data, including streaming infrared from satellites. - Glynnjamin
Crime solving
  • On crime/cop shows, DNA tests and toxicology reports can be done in a half hour. - tcheema
Have something to add to the list? Comment below!

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"No one ever gets calls from telemarketers! - Cubbie"

One of the best Seinfield gags is about inconvenient telemarketer calls... ¬¬

April 05 2008 at 2:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Oh CMon!
1-In the largest Policestations, everybody's talking in the background, only the actor voices are heard.
2-No two people ever meet at an aisleway or doorway and have to say sorry or excuse me.
3-BIGONE - anyone shot flies across the room- see mythbusters
4-male actors maintain the same beard length even if its that 2 day scruffy look
5-shootouts.explosions downtown no cop response or they "lose him"/
6- When coming on the scene to someone who's just been assaulted, they stay with hurt person until they die, instead of asking which way did they go? and radioing in the details.
7- All Men in Comedies are stupid, the women are neurotic, and the children are street-wise.
8-Every Parent is clueless and scared to death to talk about sex with their child.

March 29 2008 at 3:18 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
M.E. Williams

The Jake Factor.

On TV, especially through the late 90s and up to a year or two ago, it seemed like every "hip young guy" character was named Jake.

In real life, I almost never meet people named Jake (though yes, I realize it's a legit nickname for "Jacob" and that what I'm saying is strictly anecdotal). All the Jakes I know are dogs... literally every male puppy I've heard about lately via friends and acquaintances is a "Jake."

March 28 2008 at 7:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Offices, especially in crime shows are always so dark. In the offices I've worked in, it seems like life draining florescents are always on.

And airplanes seem a lot more spacious and comfortable on tv.

March 28 2008 at 6:37 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Quote: "when being interviewed by detectives on any incarnation of Law & Order, the interviewees ALWAYS keep going with whatever activity they were engaged in when the police started talking to them. "

Yea, that really, really annoys me about this show too!

If in car-chases or during the lazy sunday-afternoon drive of a couple: As soon as the camera is showing the actors in the car through the windscreen, the REARVIEW MIRROR is missing in 99% of all cases.

March 26 2008 at 10:32 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

How about whenever you have a foreigner who says "I don't speak English very well" etc., he/she will then proceed into an oratory above and beyond most native English speakers (though with the occasional pause or break or the one "Uh, how do you say...?" because...obviously, they don't speak English very well).

March 26 2008 at 7:01 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jon Crawford

People always honk their car horn twice when they pull in the driveway or when they pull out to leave.

March 26 2008 at 12:27 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I was going to respond to the one about the news always being on at the same time with the joke from Arrested Development, but JJ Forde beat me to it.

March 25 2008 at 11:26 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

In sitcoms and awful animated sitcoms called Family Guy, the characters on the show will shift from intelligent to moronic or liberal to conservative for whatever events the week's episode will demand.

March 25 2008 at 7:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

TV remotes always click when you press their buttons.

March 25 2008 at 4:36 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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