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October 24, 2014

America's Next Top Model: House of Pain

by JJ Hawkins, posted Mar 26th 2008 10:44PM
Aimee doesn't have any model experience.

(S10E06) To be perfectly honest, I haven't paid a whole lot of attention to Aimee this season.

I mean look at her in the capture above. The waterfall or the buildings behind her have just as good a chance at capturing your attention as she does.

She's pretty nondescript to say the least and while she's a pretty girl and everything, she just hadn't done very much to stand out this season aside from profess her anxiety of being naked around other women. I'm not ashamed to admit I find that to be a turn-off.

Of course, that was before this photo captured my attention:

Aimee covered in paint.

I mean look at her! Absolutely scrumptious. If that was yogurt or some other edible substance, why I might just offer to...well, never mind what I might offer to do. Let's just say it wouldn't be the kind of thing a moral man would do.

I just hope she can come out of her shell a little bit more as the season progresses, otherwise wonderful shots like this are going to be completely for naught. Shy girls never win this competition, and I still say she's going to have to get over that whole nude thing if she's going to cut it in this industry.

Claire, Lauren, and Whitney have kind of been ganging up the drag-queen looking one. I think she deserves every foul comment the girls throw at her.

Tyra had five words for the girls tonight on their way to this weeks competition. Those five words were, "Go upstairs and get dressed." The girls got dressed in red dance outfits. I assumed they were going to have to bust out some dance moves, but instead they practiced their "model walk" not for the first or second time this season, but for the third friggin' time. I think we're officially starting to run out of the things for the girls to do.

I think we need to start throwing some Survivor like challenges into the mix, don't you? I know that would have absolutely nothing to do with modeling, but I'd pay good money to watch these girls make their way through a maze tied together, bring items in a burlap sack to the top of a tower, and have to solve a puzzle for an immunity idol and a chicken bone.

I think I just came up with the premise for cycle 11. America's Next Top Survivor. It's got a nice ring to it.

The girls get ready to dance.

Where was I? Tyra taught the girls how to "pose with pain" and the highlight to that sequence came when the girls had to pretend they were having some serious menstrual cramps. I personally thought most of them looked like they were just constipated, but I'm a guy, and don't have menstrual cramps so who am I to judge?

Anya ended up winning the competition and she won a one-on-one photo shoot with Nigel Barker.

Anya is another one of those girls that I haven't paid all that much attention to this season, but for some reason I was all eyes during her photo shoot. It may have had a little bit do do with the fact that she was almost completely nude posing seductively on white sheets. Have I ever mentioned that I hate Nigel Barker? The man gets paid to have attractive girls take their cloths off and he takes photos of them--all with their consent?

If ever there was a prime candidate for identify theft, I'd put him at the top of the list.

Anya gets naked.

Outside of another blow up between Dominique and Claire, Whitney, and Lauren not much else happened this episode. I hope the producers find something besides this feud to focus on next week. It's already starting to wear thin. You can only hear girls get catty and call each other bitches so many times before it starts to get old. We're about to that point.

For this weeks photo shoot, the girls headed to Brooklyn and got dolled up in a variety of outfits to take on the persona of specific music genres.

Of the bunch, I'm pretty confident Lauren played her character the best. She looked the best in her outfit anyhow. I'm continually impressed by this fish out of water. She's definitely out of her element, but she's hanging in there with girls who seem much more comfortable in this environment. I'd go out on a limb here and say she's becoming one of my favorites, but we all know I'm rooting for Fatima and Dominique, so I won't bother...

Lauren in a pop inspired outfit.

The order of the photos:

Whitney
Katarzyna
Fatima
Lauren
Anya
Dominique
Stacy-Ann

Apparently, the panel disagreed with my assessment that Lauren took the best photo. No surprises there. It came down to Claire and Aimee. Guess who went home? Could it be, the girl that I complimented at the beginning of this post? The curse of JJ Hawkins strikes again.

I'm done! Next week, Dominique or Fatima is getting all kinds of praise in the intro. I may go so far as to compliment the both of them, and while it may cause my head to explode it will be completely worth it if Tyra surprises us with a double elimination and cuts these two beasts out of the competition.

Who really should have gone home tonight?
Whitney21 (5.3%)
Katarzyna5 (1.3%)
Fatima57 (14.3%)
Lauren18 (4.5%)
Anya3 (0.8%)
Dominique132 (33.1%)
Stacy-Ann62 (15.5%)
Claire47 (11.8%)
Aimee54 (13.5%)

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Re. Rick's comments: I agree with #2 (except we don't know how she personally feels about "teh gays") and #3 and "crpt&drpsmtch's" reply to #4 and agree with everything that "I miss my stars!" said.

I kept wondering why Dom didn't just take her blanket and pillow and go sleep on the couch. Obviously asking Claire, Whitney and Lauren to stop wasn't working. They were like school kids with the gang mentality, bonding through a common enemy. That can't be reasoned with.

Is Dom the only one with an alarm clock? Does anyone else have one that can be used? Would Dom allow someone else to program her alarm? Compromise, people!

Don't they realize that millions of people are judging them each week and that they themselves will be watching the play back in a couple of months? Show some maturity. Present solutions to problems that don't result in violence or verbal attacks. But wait, that makes for more interesting TV, until it gets old.

March 29 2008 at 10:31 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Emily

I think Claire and Aimee got screwed. Claire's get-up was ridiculous. Her hair looked like Betty Crocker with a side of Stepford Wife rather than country, IMO. I missed the part where they show which girl was assigned which genre. Did they actually select these for themselves? Rhythm and Blues could not have been less appropriate for Little Miss Mormon White Bread. What would she have had to draw on for the Blues inspiration - the day the family dog died?

Anya didn't have to do anything except stand there. I agreed with Jay that the makeup and hair did all the work. I thought Stacey Ann was the weakest, simply because she is showing us the same face every week. However, I do support your Vote for the Worst approach to Fatima and Dominique. Fat and Dom all the way!

I was disappointed to see the bitchy side of Claire. I thought she was the most mature and centered one in the bunch. I can appreciate her ire at the alarm clock problem, but the second time that thing went off at the wrong time it would have gone the way of Bre's granola bar.

March 28 2008 at 3:05 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
rick cokely

1. Do you ever notice when Tyra is doing her poses with the girls they never show her full body? Its like "Here is how you pose!" (close up shot of Tyra's face) and pull back. "Pose again!" (more close up of Tyra's face).

My thought is that she contorts her body in some awkward way. I mean I know she's a good model but maybe she's been out of practice or something. I just don't see any explanation otherwise.

2. Amiee had to go. She sunk her battleship when she started talking about being a Mormon. Sorry honey, but religion and fashion don't go together. If you have reservations about taking your clothes off in front of other people, you aren't going to make it very far. Plus, gay people are *everywhere*.

3. Glad to see Claire isn't the perfect Covergirl. I think she might have screwed herself for the win by beating down Dominique. Sure, she deserved a reading for the alarm clock and the general disrespect, but Claire took it to the next level by sitting in the room keeping her up and talking nasty about her. It made me almost feel sympathy for her.

4. And finally I don't understand why they keep having the plus size models on the show. I mean, I guess there is a market for them, but its not runway and it certainly isn't high-fashion. Plus size girls are catalog onry. That being said, I think Whitney is going to win.

March 27 2008 at 1:19 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to rick cokely's comment
crpt&drpsmtch

in regards to your point #4...Whitney is beautiful in spite of her weight...I hope she does win, but I don't think the industry will ever let a plus-sized person win. To that end, Yes, I think Tyra should stop choosing the plus-sized girls because she's never going to let them win. It's very unfair to lead them on like that!

March 27 2008 at 4:01 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
JJ Hawkins

I'm not sure what was wrong with me yesterday. I'll try and step up my game. Apologies all around.

March 27 2008 at 11:09 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
GL

Her timidness being naked around women is what makes the eventual innocent, friendly group shower all the more appealing.

March 27 2008 at 11:03 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
SpaceVenus

I agree with Patrick, JJ. Where's the snark, were you tired?
If Dominique's alarm woke me up seven times for no reason, I'd beat her ass.
I can't believe they sent Aimee home, but kept that useless Stacey Ann, although Aimee was quite forgetable.
Katarzyna's still ugly. Did you notice how in every photo they airbrush her mole? That's what I can't get past, it's very distructing.

March 27 2008 at 11:01 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
JJ Hawkins

It's purely strategy cdawg. The people I root for have a tendency to get 86'd the moment I start rooting for them. My strategy going forward is to start rooting for the people I most want off the show. It's a little reverse model psychology and it will probably fail miserably like everything else I try and predict/influence related to this show (and in real life I might add).

March 27 2008 at 11:01 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
moreartplease

At the end of the day "grunge" and "emo" seem to be closest to the sort of look that models feel most comfortable in--look at poor Claire, who had to play country--a musical genre that (in this stereotype of it, at least) relies on big, corn-pone smiles. She was caught between "modeling" and playing a character, and by ending in the middle of the road, she, as Mr. Miyagi would say, went squish like grape.

March 27 2008 at 10:52 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
cdawg

how the heck would you pose emo anyways... all of it was ridiculous. if claire had a big smile and posed all "country" they would have called it too cheesy. you can never win with the judges.

Go Whitney!

JJ why do you love the two biggest beyotches in the house? dom and fats don't do anything but start trouble.

March 27 2008 at 10:42 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
MAW

Not that emo, perhaps, but still hot.

March 27 2008 at 10:08 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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