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Super Skank Wednesday: Reasons why the skanks shouldn't drink & It's all about Seezinz - VIDEO

by Kristin Sample, posted Mar 26th 2008 11:02AM
Daisy and Jessica Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Love New York (or whatever show Tiffany Pollard is making next), The Surreal Life, and Charm School. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After the jump...Reasons Why You Shouldn't Drink in the Rock of Love Mansion, A Word from Bret, & This Season, It's all about Seezinz.

It's Wednesday again, people. That means the weekend is only two days away and it's time to talk smack about the skanks! And this is a long one. I apologize for the length but A LOT happened on Sunday and Monday night.

Reasons Why You Shouldn't Drink in the Rock of Love Mansion
or When Skanks Do Body Shots

Megan I'd like to personally thank VH1 for the cautionary tales provided by Sunday's show.

Too much drinking makes you cry. After a few body shots and a few more beers, the skanks were sniveling, and whimpering, and downright boohooing all over the place. Pull yourself together, you little tartlets! Megan made Jessica cry (anyone could do that though). Daisy made herself cry (what's up, Kristy Jo?). And Megan's ex-boyfriend made her cry (didn't see that one coming). I think Destiney may have cried at some point too? Heather said of Daisy, "The girl is a total blubbering trainwreck." And she was right.

Too much drinking makes you reveal personal stuff. Megan totally dropped the ball after too many cocktails -- and she was let go because of it. First she revealed to Heather that she was on Beauty and the Geek (a kiss of death on these shows). Second she wailed to Ambre about how her ex-boyfriend only came on the show to promote his bar. Methinks she's not quite over him. From the looks of him, I can't tell why not.

In her meeting with Bret, Heather mentioned there's really only one good thing about Megan, "The upside of Megan is she's got a great rack." I love Heather. I just have to say it. And I don't care who hears me.

Another person that took too much of the truth serum was that skank Daisy. She broke down (rather suddenly) and told Heather that she still lives with her ex-boyfriend Charles in a ONE-bedroom apartment. And from the looks of next week's show, Heather is not letting that one go.

Check out this video for more about Megan...

video.vh1.com

Too much drinking makes you vomit. Jessica, the sweet and innocent one, decided to impress her fellow skanks and show the world that she could drink. There was just one problem. The drinks went down easily but they came right back up.

Too much drinking makes you do cartwheels naked. On a dare from Heather (the master of revels), Destiney decided to strip off her bra and panties and do not ONE, but TWO cartwheels on the lawn. In the extras at VH1's website, you can see the second part of the dare. Destiney peed on Bret's doorstep. Now, if ever there was a reason to call the Neighborhood Watch Association.

A Word from Bret

Bret MichaelsThe man had some doozies on Sunday. Here's a few of my favorites. If you still don't tune in, you really don't know what you're missing.
  • "[Megan] was on Beauty and the Geek. She's upgrading to rock star. I think that's moving up the ladder, right?"
  • "Amber tells me that Megan has been shedding tears and crying, not for me, but for her ex. Now that one kicked me right in the nards."
  • "I remember my first beer." (to a very inebriated Jessica)
  • "We're moments away from projectile." (about the very inebriated Jessica)

This Season, It's all about Seezinz

Flav struggles to understand. A lot happened on Flavor of Love 3 this week too. I think VH1 realized both shows weren't up to snuff from their previous seasons so they threw a few twists in to spice things up. Let's start from the end of Monday night's episode and work backwards from there.

Four new girls came into the mansion. Saaphryi said something about the current skanks not being good enough and then invited her "homegirls" into Flav's house. Among them were Candace Cabrera (I found her myspace page) and an Amazon woman. That girl had to be six-foot-tall without the heels.

Before that, Flav eliminated Shy (SHY-Town!) basically because her breath was kickin'. As Flav says, "Your breath is like crystal meth." Shy went to the dentist and found out she needed a deep cleaning, dead teeth removed, and root canals (a total of $20,000 in dental work). I know Flav won't miss the dragon breath, but I'll miss her.

And now, Seezinz ... I found out some stuff about her. I've liked her all along because in a house full of skanktastic chicks, she seemed a cut above. And this past episode, Seezinz proved that she was there to compete. Seezinz got into more than half the calendar photos and dominated her date that night. Here's some more information about her:
  • Seezinz and little Flav Seezinz's real name is Autumn Joi.
  • She is 25 years old and from Cheltenham, Maryland.
  • According to buddytv.com, Seezinz has a competitive edge and "claims that she is the sophisticated woman that Flav needs."
  • Also according to buddytv.com, Seezinz is "afraid of hair and intimidated by overweight people." Huh?
  • Here's the best comment I found about her. It's by Laquonda on VH1's blogspot: "Seezinz looks like a skinny, shiny toostie roll...as a matter of fact she reimnds me of this lil' girl named dominique that i knew, mustache and all.. she's a stank `)! gutta rat from d.c. and she probably burning a hole in them gray sweatpants that she stay rocking."
  • In my travels across the worldwide web, I came across these steamy pictures. Some are of Seezinz, but there are also some of Myamme, Bunz, Tik, and others.
  • I found this interview with Black Press Radio. Apparently, Seezinz's mother was upset with her decision to go on the show.

One last thing...

Okay, before I leave you for this week, I have a question. Does anyone else hope that Bret Michaels pulls a Flavor Flav and keeps Heather in the competition? Let me clarify. In season 2 of Flavor of Love, Flav brought back New York to help him find out which skanks were there for realzies. But during the elimination ceremony, he gave a clock to New York, effectively bringing her back into the tournament for his heart. The rest is history. On Sunday night, when Bret invited Heather to come with him and his skanks to Las Vegas, I realized that Bret might be "pulling a Flav."

What you do Rock of Love fans think? Sound off in the poll.

Do you want Heather to join the Rock of Love 2 cast?
Yes, Heather is pretty cool.68 (52.7%)
Yes, but I don't think Bret is going to bring her back.24 (18.6%)
No, Heather had her chance.25 (19.4%)
No, but I think Bret will give her a pass.12 (9.3%)

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treegoat

Heather rocks. Akbar's idea is genius!

March 26 2008 at 11:56 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to treegoat's comment
Akbar Fazil

Thank you!

Seriously, if Tia Tequila can have a bisexual dating competition show, why not have a poly relationship one?

Can't wait to see how Heather destroys these girls in Vegas.

March 27 2008 at 12:21 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bx Burlesque

Heather is totally my role model. Next time a friend comes to visit, I plan to greet her with "What's up, bitch! Hope you brought your extra liver!"

Or at least I'll want to.

Watching Megan crash and burn was pretty awesome. I hope the twins do the same on FoL. And I look forward to all of the drama next week--things are DEFINITELY picking up on both shows.

Oh yeah, but about Flav's concern about Hotlanta maybe just looking for a new babydaddy: Would he really notice if three more kids were dropped into his life? And wouldn't Family-Man Flav be bothered if she were dating *without* thinking about her kids?!

March 26 2008 at 4:20 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
david

Hey, Big John, lose the guyliner. its not a good look

flavor of love has gotten too trashy even for me, hopefully this will be flav's last dance

March 26 2008 at 2:40 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Akbar Fazil

My main hope for Rock of Love is that no one who is left (of which I say it will come down to Ambre and Destiny) will get picked. Brett will pick Heather and then on RoL3 we will have both Brett and Heather together looking for a third.

March 26 2008 at 2:09 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
GL

I had never seen Rock of Love before this episode. It was mildly entertaining. However, seeing that gentleman Charles on TV was like watching paint dry. Very poorly dressed paint. I was hoping someone would slap him just to see if he had more than one facial expression.

March 26 2008 at 12:29 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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