Gallery: Talk Show Hosts

Ellen DeGeneres is clearly, the host that makes my day -- and AOLers apparently, and yes, she would be my choice for an ideal dinner party guest. For the rest of AOL TV's results, you should check out their list. There survey did get me thinking, though. What about the categories they missed. Here's a few of the categories I want to weigh in on.

1) Which talk show host would I most like to interview?
Enough with them asking all the questions! I want to be the interviewer, and to be honest, even though Oprah Winfrey is probably the most celebrated of all the talk show hosts, I think I'm more interested in talking to Conan O'Brien. David Letterman would be like a walnut that you can't open, but Conan would talk. I'd like to know about his time on The Simpsons. Also, what is it with that hair?

2) Who's the most clever talk show host?
Jay Leno tells a good joke; David Letterman is goofy funny. Ellen is warm and human. But who's really smart and clever? I think Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are neck and neck in this race, with Colbert slightly more clever in my opinion. I don't know, maybe he just has eyebrows that arch more dramatically?

3) Whose car would I want to travel in on a cross-country trip?
Well, you know it's not Miss Oprah's. Remember the shows when she and Gayle King were doing a car trip. She was not a pleasant passenger or a good driver. Ellen would probably be fun because you can just tell she knows how to play car games and would like to sing along to the oldies on the radio. However, Jay Leno is a car collector. I'd like to go with him on a trip and let him pick one of his classic autos for the occasion -- maybe a big Cadillac Eldorado?

4) Who would I trust to water my plants and feed my cat when I'm out of town?
This is assuming that I have a cat -- and plants -- but you know what I mean. Which one of these talk show hosts would you hand your keys to? I know I'm not giving them to Larry King, unless he's back on the ginkgo biloba. This is where Kelly Ripa would shine. She's a mother and a homemaker; she'd even talk to my plants if I asked her nicely.

5) Who would make the best short-order cook?
President is too big a job. Which of these talkers can make a sandwich and take an order correctly? Most of these folks are used to giving the orders, but what would happen if they had to be on the other end? Regis would fail miserably behind the counter. Al Roker, on the other hand, would be terrific. He's the type who could appreciate a cheeseburger deluxe.

6) Who would make the best witness in a court of law?
Martha Stewart is not who you'd want testifying on your behalf, if you know what I mea. Whoopi Goldberg might get a bit too sassy with the judge, and Jerry Springer cannot be taken seriously. Even he doesn't take himself seriously (I know; I've interviewed him!) So, who would be a good choice? Oprah, naturally. Everyone respects her and she's forthright and truthful.

7) Who's not doing a talk show now but should be doing one in the future?
This is interesting because everybody thinks a talk show is easy. If it was easy, Magic Johnson would still be on the air. So would Megan Mullally. Before she did her talk show, who knew that Ellen DeGeneres would be so adept at hosting a daily program? It takes a particular kind of quality. Tina Fey could do it, someday maybe, after 30 Rock has run five years or so. Also, Michael Keaton. He's still busy acting, I know, but he could be an excellent talk show host.