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September 3, 2015

Top ten toughest bald guys on TV

by Paul Goebel, posted Mar 30th 2008 10:45AM

Chris TurkI remember when I was a kid and I saw a bald man I always thought, "He must be old." As I've become an adult, I have been lucky enough to keep my thick head of hair but it's clear that baldness is no longer something to be embarrassed about. In fact, there are a number of bald men on television who are quite adept at getting things done. Here are my top ten toughest bald guys on television.

10. Chris Turk (Scrubs)
While Turk wouldn't be considered a tough guy by most standards, I think he deserved to be on this list for a couple of reasons. First, Turk chooses to be bald. Sure, his hair is thin but at some point he decided to shave his head and I applaud his choice. More importantly, Turk is a surgeon, a father and the husband of a very hot lady. If that isn't an example of how to get it done, I don't know what is.

9. Walter White (Breaking Bad)
Walter is another guy who decided to bite the bullet and shave his head and with that one simple act, he went from meek science teacher to bad-ass meth manufacturer. While it's clear that Walter always had that side of him hidden away somewhere, it wasn't until he went baldy that he embraced his gangster side.

Eugene Young8. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
There are those of you who might argue that Homer doesn't belong on this list, but any guy who can repeatedly fall into a canyon or get pummeled by a heavyweight boxer gets labeled tough in my world.

7. Richard Cross/Teddy Hoffman (Murder One)
I don't think there has ever been a bigger battle of wills than the one between these two characters. If you've never seen Murder One, I can't describe it to you. All I can say is that the show features the best performances Stanley Tucci and Daniel Benzali will ever give in their careers.

6. Eugene Young (The Practice)
Eugene is the first guy on the list who is the classic definition of tough guy. A private investigator turned lawyer who has been known to deck his clients is someone you don't want to mess with. Just in case there were any doubts about his toughness, take a look at that picture.

Keith Mars5. Keith Mars (Veronica Mars)
Sheriff Mars is one of those tough guys who fools you. He seems to be very gentle and simple, that is until he decides to stop playing games and get serious. Mars is one of the scariest kinds of tough guys cause when he starts to bring the hammer down it is a very scary sight to behold.

4. Jean-Luc Picard (Star Trek :TNG)
One of the requirements of being a Starfleet captain is that you must be tough. Captain Picard showed his stones numerous times during the series. Whether it was the fight that earned him an artificial heart or the way he withstood Cardassian torture, Picard has more than earned his rank.

3. Hawk (Spenser For Hire)
Hawk was so tough that he was almost a stereotype. The bald head, the sunglasses and the melodious deep voice all equal tough. Between us, I liked to pretend that Ben Sisko was a descendant of Hawk's and that's why he eventually shaved his head and grew a goatee.

2. Theo Kojak (Kojak)
Undoubtedly, the godfather of all bald tough guys. Long before, it was fashionable, Telly Savales shaved what little hair he had left and embraced his shiny pate. Then, in an effort to defy his own toughness, he started sucking lollipops, and became even tougher!

Vern Schillinger1. Vern Schillinger (Oz)
As loathe as I am to put a white supremacist at the top of the list, I can't ignore that if all these guys were in a fight, Vern would very likely end up the winner. Not only does his sense of superiority make him a hard guy to beat but when things got hairy he wouldn't be above doing something really nasty to win the fight, also he sometimes wears an eyepatch.

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does tony soprano count as bald? or is he not bald enough? Junior Soprano probably does, though he's not really that tough.

Also, Dr. Cox shaved his head at one point, ergo bumping Turk off his spot.

March 31 2008 at 11:58 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

ummm bull shannon - night court

March 31 2008 at 2:38 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

If you're going to mentioned Captain Picard, how can you not mention Ben Sisko from DS9?

March 31 2008 at 10:42 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

How the hell did you overlook Vic Mackey

March 31 2008 at 10:26 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Ben Linus


March 31 2008 at 4:11 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
JJ Forde

And what about Gunn from Angel, he always could hold his own in fights against demons. I think that would make him worthy of a position, much more so than Turk at least.

March 31 2008 at 1:38 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Morjana Coffman

Where's Teal'c from Stargate SG-1? He was bald for seven seasons! And tough for ten seasons of SG1!


March 30 2008 at 10:34 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Nice List Paul (Dripping with sarcasm)

Yea... You left quite a few off of there...

March 30 2008 at 10:22 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Ummm...OMAR anyone???

I think it's pretty unanimous that verrry little thought went into this list.

March 30 2008 at 7:53 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I pity the fool who made this list!

(you should know who I think is missing)

March 30 2008 at 7:23 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Bash's comment

OK he's not really bald but still this is more a "10 guys without hair on TV" list...

March 31 2008 at 1:59 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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