(S04E01) I'm tempted to say that Hell's Kitchen has jumped the shark, or whatever the culinary equivalent of jumping the shark would be (jumping the oven? burning the dinner?), but then I got to thinking: the prize for this show is pretty big. The winner not only gets $250,000, they also get to be the executive chef at one of Gordon Ramsay's own restaurants, the new London L.A. opening in Los Angeles later this year. So maybe all of the intense cooking action and swearing and degrading put downs uttered by Ramsay actually serve a purpose.

That doesn't, however, mean that the show isn't guilty of some severe reality show badness.

Whenever you get to the fourth season of a reality show, you have to up the ante a bit, and this season we not only see more contestants (15), there are also more contestants with cooking experience. They seem to be going the same route American Idol did this season, getting some contestants that aren't exactly amateurs. In fact, I think I count only one person who doesn't have cooking/chef experience and that's Dominic, and even he is a stay-at-home dad and probably cooks a lot.

Ramsay's swearing seems to be upped this year too. I don't doubt at all that Ramsay is sort of a rough character (though infinitely nicer than he appears to be on this show), but now it seems like he's swearing because that's what his "character" does. It's the main draw of the show, really. The contestants screw up, Ramsay swears and throws something across the kitchen, and the kitchen is closed.

Oh, and we have quite the cast this season. Besides Dominic, we have Bobby, who refers to himself as "the black Gordon Ramsay" (so you know Ramsay is going to love him, ahem) and a "four-star General and Executive Chef"; Vanessa, who probably isn't quite as good in the kitchen as she thinks; Jason, the trash-talker who thinks he's God's gift to women; Jen, who contestant Sharon refers to as "a Barbie doll" because of her blond hair, make-up, and boobs; and...well, all of the reality show sterotypes are here. The braggarts, the whiners, etc, etc, etc.

There is one funny moment in this premiere. In a twist, Ramsay disguises himself as one of the contestants (looking a little bit like Howard Stern) and infiltrates the group as they come to the restaurant on a bus. He gets to listen to what the contestants say about him, though no one says anything too bad (except for Bobby's "I'm the black Gordon Ramsay" remark). At first I thought this was stupid and outlandish, but the makeup job was so ridiculous that he actually did look like someone who would be on a reality show, and the contestants had no idea it was Ramsay.

One segment that didn't ring exactly true to me was the opening task, where the cooks have to make their "signature dish" (if they even have one) for Ramsay so he can see what type of cook they are. He hated most of the dishes, of course (they were bland, too raw, and I think he even called one dish "a piece of shit"), but there was one dish that actually made him vomit a few times. Now, the dish did sound truly gross (scallops, caviar, steak tartare and...white chocolate), but it actually made him throw up a few times? Hmmm...

My favorite dish had to be Petrozza's. He admits he doesn't have a signature dish, so he makes...Hen in a Pumpkin! It's a cornish game hen shoved into a pumpkin. The potatoes on the outside are so greasy they look like slimy worms, and he has to take the entire pumpkin apart just to serve the meal to Ramsay.

The first night the restaurant is open (which seems a little rushed, considering they've only been in the game for one day) the men's team can't even remember what the entrees are, while the women know them by heart. This is not a good start for the men, and it doesn't get any better from there. Jason actually goes outside to smoke a cigarette and everyone wonders where he went, Dominic stumbles around like a lost puppy holding scallops in his hand, and the risotto comes out terrible (that's a recurring theme on Hell's Kitchen I think, bad risotto). At one point, Ramsay tells mohawked Louross that he's "running around like a toilet brush," which I don't think makes a lot of sense but is a line I'm going to use anyway.

But at one point Louross actually takes control of the kitchen, which is something team captain Bobby can't do, or won't do. He keeps telling the team he doesn't want to "get in the middle" of what they're doing. He also at one point says that he's "ready to roll, va, va, vi, vi, va, va, vi, va." I think I got that order correct. Ramsay is impressed by how Louross took control and has him nominate two men for elimination. He chooses Bobby and Dominic.

And who is the first to go this season? It's Dominic, the only contestant who doesn't have cooking experience. This is a shame, because I always like to see what the non-pros can do later in the competition against the pros. But this show is looking for someone to take over a restaurant, so Dom was probably doomed from the start.

Next week: more swearing and throwing of food!