Super Skank Wednesday: Daisy's Diaries & Flavor of Love is finally getting good -- VIDEOS
After the jump...Daisy's Diaries: Enter the mind of a psycho & Why Flavor of Love 3 finally got good Monday night.
We'll get to Daisy. But first, let's talk about the awesomeness that was Sunday night.
With the help of Heather, Bret whittled his way down to three remaining strumpets. The gang went to Vegas for some, er, golf? But Jessica didn't seem to mind her twilight golf date with the big B. In fact, it was an opportunity to show Bret something she's really good at. "I played varsity golf in high school," she said during her one-on-one. And she's upset because he finds her too innocent?
Destiney and Jessica set out to conquer the golf course; but not before Heather got her scuzzy paws on their hair. Why on earth would you trust Heather with your hair? The styling session, however, did produce the best line of the night: "These girls are so stupid. 80s hair is so out. Even I know that now" (Heather).
But let's discuss Daisy, who stole the show Sunday. I know I've obsessed about her before. She just gets more and more interesting. Over the past two weeks, we've found out that Daisy still lives with her ex-boyfriend (for two years!) and has "hung out with" (or "had sex with") Bret's bandmate C.C. Deville. It just gets better.
Why is Daisy so intriguing? She's a complete psychopath, she's got a smokin' hot body, and her faces looks like... well, let's just say her face isn't quite as attractive as her body. If you want to finish that sentence, leave your similes in the comments. "Daisy's face looks like [fill in the blank]."
To celebrate Daisy, I have some of her videos from Rock of Love 2's extras. You're going to love 'em.
Thanks D! I didn't know that people give birth in the ocean (rich people, of course). And dolphins swim around them as they deliver? I'm so doing that.
Do you guys remember that? It had to be the worst rendition of the national anthem I have EVER heard.
I know you could've guessed that Daisy and Bret have done the horizontal mambo but I think that confirms it. Do you think Bret has seen Daisy's face yet? I wonder if he looks at her and merely sees a tightly toned figure with gigantic fake breasts and no head?
Okay, eyes are the first thing that Bret Michaels notices? No, no, no. He just heard someone else say that and thought, "Oh, that sounds good. Like I'm not just into big tits." And now, that's what he tells every girl.
That one was just for fun. I'll admit it. I got nothing.
Flavor of Love 3: Finally Getting Good
So how do you improve a mediocre season of Flavor of Love? Add four more skanks, give them alcohol, and make them do a hip-hopera. And there were so many good moments tonight. I could barely even wrap my mind around everything that went down in Flav's mansion.
*sings* On the fourth day of Christmas, Saaphyri and Buckwild gave to me, four new skanky hoe-bags...
We met Prototype, whose name was later changed to "Phototype" because she let on that she's a commercial model and video girl.
We met Luscious D who has gigantic fake breasts. Sinceer chimed in, "Well, anybody can buy those" when LD introduced herself. Buckwild retorted, "Ya'll didn't." I have two things to say here. One. I miss Buckwild. Two. Do you think that Luscious D went into the wrong audition? It seems like she'd be much better suited to compete for the heart of Bret "Eyes Are the Most Important Thing to Me" Michaels.
Speaking of eyes, we also met Candace Cabrera who wanted to be called "Blue" because Flav will be mesmerized by her baby blues. I think he really wanted to call her "Big Boobs Magoo" but that was too long so he shortened it to "Black" after the color of her dress.
Lastly, we met Tree, an Amazon woman who eats small children (allegedly). And of course, the "she's a man" jokes were in abundance. Hotlanta said, "It's a 'gude.' It's a girl-dude." Well, really, who needs to waste breath on "hermaphrodite" or "androgynous" when you can just say, "gude." Like Hotlanta, Prancer swears that Tree is a man, "And I will not believe otherwise until I see a vagina."
But the addition of more skanks wasn't the only thing that happened on Monday night. The twins were finally split up! And boy, do they have very different views on sharing Flav. Thing 2 (the skinny one) seemed really genuine about how much she cares for Flav. When it comes to her man, she is uncomfortable with going halves with her twin. Thing 1 (the chubby one), on the other hand, didn't see anything wrong with the whole Big Love set-up.
The new girls were so taken with Thing 2's interview that they awarded her the immunity clock. And here's the best part: Flav took the twins' clock and crossed off the wrong twin! I love it! I love Flav! He felt so bad that he let Thing 2 wear his bedazzled gold clock for the time being.
See you next week!
|Luscious D||50 (38.5%)|