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MTV's Rock the Cradle: Series premiere

by Kristin Sample, posted Apr 4th 2008 8:02PM
the cast of Rock the Cradle
(S01E01) MTV premiered a new series last night called Rock the Cradle. It's a singing competition. But it isn't your average Idol or Star Search show. There's a twist: the competitors are all daughters/sons of real-life rockstars, pop icons, and R&B chart-toppers. Who's progeny is competing? We've got Bobby Brown, Olivia Newton-John, Kenny Loggins and MC Hammer to name a few. MTV hired Larry Rudolph, ex-manager of Britney Spears, as a judge. Also judging the performances is Belinda Carlisle. *sings* Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place on earth...

So it has a cool name and a cool concept. But was it cool? My review is after the jump.

You're probably expecting these kids to be really great singers much like their mamas and papas. But consider this. With the connections they must have, if they were really that fantastic, they'd be signed to recording labels already.

That said, here's two things I found interesting. The judges give them scores (Olympics-style) then the singer with the highest score is "untouchable" and won't have to rely on America's vote to stay in the competition. The other interesting aspect of the show is that the parents of the singers sit in the audience and comment on the performances. Although I don't know if that was just for the premiere or it they will be there every week.

Let's talk about the performances. I'm giving some brief observations. Please leave any of your comments about the performers in the comments. I'd love to know what everyone else thought of this.

Jesse Money (daughter of Eddie Money) kicked off the night. From the video package, we could see that Eddie is a total stage dad. Her song choice was horrible and her right leg twitched like crazy during the refrain. Although I think the "twitch" was her keeping the rhythm and rocking out. Hmm, I said to myself. Well, it can only go up from here.

Landon Brown (son of bad boy Bobby Brown) sang Seal's "Crazy." Again, not a good choice. He did too much vocal gymnastics, forgot the words at one point in the beginning, and acted like he was already a big star encouraging the audience to clap along with him. Sidenote: Bobby Brown wore a T-shirt with his son's name on it. Sidenote to the sidenote: You know, Whitney's daughter should be in this competition.

Jesse Blaze Snider (son of Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider) had a better stage presence than most as he actually moved around the stage. He also wore tight leather pants and had a fake tan. Who could ask for more, right? Jesse Blaze sang "Rock and Roll" and Belinda Carlisle panned him. Dee Snider said he was proud of the performance and he had to pull strings with Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin to get permission to sing the song. Take that, Belinda! Uhh, Dee, ya dropped a few names there. Did ya need help picking those up?

Chloe Lattanzi (daughter of Olivia Newton-John) has gigantic lips and looks like the love child of Angelina Jolie and a muppet. She did okay with "Never Tear Us Apart" but had scores all over the place.

I wrote in my notes that Lara Johnston (daughter of Tom Johnston from the Doobie Brothers) had "good potential." But I can't remember anything else about her, what she sang, how she sang it, or what she wore. So, maybe not?

Lil B. Sure (son of R&B crooner and pantydropper Al B. Sure) had a really nice voice. His last note sounded weird though.

Lucy Walsh (daughter of Joe Walsh, guitarist for the Eagles) is "Untouchable" after the scores were in last night. She was very pretty and the most articulate of the bunch. She sang well but stood on stage with hunched shoulders like she was freezing cold or going through withdrawal. Larry Rudolph apparently likes the herion-chic posture because he gave her a perfect 10.

Crosby Loggins (son of Kenny Loggins) came off as extremely pretentious in his video package. It was that type of pretentious that happens when a person consciously tries so hard not to be pretentious and congratulates himself for being so down-to-earth. Make sense? He talked about how it isn't easy for him just because his dad is a successful singer (they even showed him in a laundromat). Then Crosby said that it's not like his dad was a plumber or something.

A'Keiba Burrell (daughter of rapper MC Hammer) was the best performance of the night, in my *humble* opinion. And that's all I'm sayin' about that.

Overall, Rock the Cradle was good. It wasn't great and went on too long but it's decent enough to watch a few more episodes. What do you think?

Will you tune in for Rock the Cradle next week?
Yes.101 (46.3%)
If nothing else is on.61 (28.0%)
Probably not.56 (25.7%)

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To quote 30 Rock, Chloe looks like a pornstar burn victim.

Freak show.

April 05 2008 at 6:18 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

my voice teacher is the behind the scenes vocal coach for this show (and on rock star as well) so i watched it - not nearly as bad as i thought, but i did fast forward through a lot of it so it only took 45 min of my life away...i like the bits about their experiences growing up - both good and bad. overall, a fairly talented bunch although some are definitely rawer than others. and what you saw as pretentious in crosby loggins sounded like honesty to me. i met him once and he was an extremely nice and sincere individual. and i give him props for choosing an elvis costello (well, nick lowe actually) tune.

April 05 2008 at 3:14 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to nickmagoo's comment
Kristin Sample

I like the bits about their home lives too. Definitely more interesting than the stupid AI video packages. I loved Jesse Money's clips. Her dad was great.

As far as Crosby Loggins, I had two comments now defending him. So, I'm totally willing to give him another chance next week. Maybe it was just the editing. He came off as an epic douche though. I was like, "Poor baby, you're daddy's famous so you think the world should apologize." No one else inspired that reaction.

That said, I'm willing to retract my opinions until next week's episode.

April 05 2008 at 3:26 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

You mean whose progeny? Yeah...

This sound awful. How have people not tired of reality shows yet?

April 05 2008 at 11:37 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Crosby Loggins is already an artist in his own right. He is both singer songwriter. What you describe as "pretentious" is actually his authentic self, he is very down to earth, and a very bright and kind young man. I assume it would be hard for any one of these contestants to be brave enough to expose themselves so openly on a show such as this. I think it takes a lot of courage to go out there and be willing to take on the worlds critics. They may be children of famous artist, but bottom line is they are still young adults with all the same fears as any one of us would have appearing on a telivision show being judged. This was thier first time out, and I think as they relax more week after week, we will begin to really see thier talents.

April 05 2008 at 1:09 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
jeff stiefer

MTV - strike one
Singing competition - strike two
weak gimmick - strike three

im soooo sick of this s*** being fed to us. Well, those of us who watch mtv...i stopped watching when 120min was taken off.

this type of television truly does rot your brain.

April 04 2008 at 11:29 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

How is this a review? This is a summary. A review is where you critique the show, list good and bad things about it. I read this hoping to find out whether or not it's a show worth watching. I did not find an answer.

April 04 2008 at 9:17 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Richie's comment
Kristin Sample

What else did you want to know about it? (Not being sarcastic there--if there's something else, I'd be glad to answer your question.)

You can watch it a MTV's site if you want to get a feel for whether or not you'd like it.

April 05 2008 at 3:28 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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