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Super Skank Wednesday: A quick round-up and some Vs. match-ups

by Kristin Sample, posted Apr 9th 2008 3:01PM
Heather, runner-up from Rock of Love 1Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Love New York (or whatever show Tiffany Pollard is making next), The Surreal Life, and Charm School. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After the jump, I'm doing a quick round-up of this Sunday's Rock of Love 2 and Monday's Flavor of Love 3 just in case any of SSW readers didn't see the shows. Then it's on to the fun part. I call it "And In This Corner." It's a series of match-ups between Flavor of Love and Rock of Love girls past and present.

Quick Round-Up

Daisy doesn't know what's going on.Rock of Love 2: Oh my God! Bret was without his hat or his bandana on Sunday. There's an elephant in the room...and it's Bret's weave. We met the parents too. Poor Destiney's dad is dying of liver cancer. Ambre's dad outed her real age: 37. She lied and told Bret she was 31. Daisy apparently has no parents but Charles' sister showed up. In the end, Bret got rid of Destiney because she said she loved "the experience" whereas Daisy and Ambre said they are in love with Bret. He also felt that Destiney should spend some more time with her Dad. Click here to watch the episode extras.

Next week we go to Cancun for the finale. Who do you want to win Rock of Love 2? Leave your opinion in the comments.

Flavor of Love 3: The ladies had to simulate a wedding and a funeral this past Monday. First Flav "married" Black and Tree went ballistic with the objection. Thing 2 didn't get Flav's real name right in her vows (calling him William Drake instead of William Drayton). And Hotlanta showed up drunk for her own wedding. Get this. When Sinceer objected to the union of Hotlanta and Flav, he didn't say anything but "Wow! Wow! Wow!" He ended up eliminating Luscious D and Hotlanta.

And in This Corner: Skankastic Match-Ups

I think this will be fun. I can't wait to read your comments about my match-ups and predictions. If you have any match-ups you think I should have addressed, leave those in the comments too.

New York 1. Heather from RofL1 and New York from FofL1 & 2 and ILNY1 & 2

Two runner-ups for the respective hearts of Bret and Flav. Two beasts that couldn't be tamed. Two ladies who have suffered the scorn of unrequited love.

Okay, enough. The winner is Heather, hands down. I know New York is a bad ass and she probably would've kicked the crap out of Pumpkin that fateful day if it didn't compromise her spot in Flav's mansion. BUT, she's a lot of hot air. If it was a verbal contest, she'd make Heather cry. But in a physical bout, I have to give it to Heather. She's in better shape (I hear a stripper pole works wonders for the muscles) and more than anything else, Heather could so take a hit in the face. I think New York would get hit once in the nose, start bleeding, and start screaming that she's going to sue Heather.

2. Pumpkin from FofL1 Vs. Hotlanta of FofL3

One has a penchant for spitting. One possibly has the gerps (my nickname for herpes). This would be a good fight because these two are scrappers. I can't say for sure who would win though. Pumpkin would definitely spit on Hotlanta. I think Hotlanta would get a few bitch slaps in. I think I'll put it to you for the winner. Who do you think would come out victorious?

3. Saaphyri from FofL2 and winner of Charm School Vs. Lacey from RofL1

Saaphyri One is from 54th and Crenshaw. One belongs in a psycho-ward. Who will win?

This would be the main event of the night if I was actually planning a Pay-Per-View event. Why? Because these girls would throw down for at least a few rounds. I think either one isn't afraid to get hit and both have done some hitting themselves. Here's how I think it would go down. Lacey would talk so much shit. Then Saaphyri would pounce on her and pummel her face. Now, this is where it would get good. Lacey, who belongs in a straight-jacket, would get up, face all bloody, and still want to fight. I think this move would throw Saaphyri's game off a little bit and Lacey would land a few good punches. But, Saaphyri would be the winner in the end.

4. Inna from RofL2 Vs. Rodeo from RofL1

Inna is the Ukrainian love tank. But, Rodeo is a tank. On account of extra testosterone alone, I think Rodeo would wipe the floor with Inna. And it would be over quick. Maybe that wasn't a fair match-up?

5. Bootz and Buckey from FofL2 and Charm School Vs. Thing 1 and Thing 2 from FofL3

Thing 1 and Thing 2 have special twin power but I think Bootz and Buckey would pull this one out. We've seen Bootz and Buckey be pretty aggressive on their shows. I think B & B would fight dirty and then the twins would run and tattle to Flav.

Hottie6. Hottie from FofL1 and Charm School Vs. Raina from FofL3

Both are ridiculous. Both are self-absorbed. Both live in their own world. And both are sneaky. We've seen Hottie (whose real name is Shatar) steal the other girls' dresses on Charm School. Raina (allegedly) had a guy call the Flavor of Love 3 house to get a girl in trouble. But only one of them has an aggressive side and that's Raina. For that reason, I think Raina would win. Hottie would be in disbelief that she was even in a fight. Or, since "Princess" Hottie thinks she's a descendant of royalty, she'd probably be wondering why her servants weren't there to help her out.

I got to give credit to my good friend who sent me an email with these match-ups she'd like to see. I'll let you readers pick the winners.
  • Destiney from RofL2 Vs. Brandi M from RofL1 in a battle of the drunken bi-sexual skanks.
  • Buckwild from FofL2 and Charm School Vs. Ice from FofL3 in a battle of the confused white chicks.
  • Sam from Rof1 and Kristy-Joe from RofL2 in a battle of the hyper-sensitive basketcase skanks.

Maybe next time we should discuss a few I Love New York match-ups? Until then, happy Super Skank Wednesday!

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Akbar Fazil

So glad the rumors I heard last week were untrue. Glad he picked Ambre. Can't wait for the reunion show...GO HEATHER!

April 14 2008 at 1:45 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
rebecca

When will these girls learn that getting a tattoo for Bret is the kiss of death? It didn't work for Heather, and it didn't work for Destiney. Do you think that VH1 is paying for laser tattoo removal?

I almost can't wait for ROL 3 to see who gets the tattoo, what it is, where it is, and how soon she gets kicked off the show afterwards!

April 10 2008 at 1:07 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bx Burlesque

Alright, I've been thinking about this:

Krusty Ho vs. Sam - they could start with a cry-off, but Sam would win the actual fight.

Brandi M vs. Destiney - mudwrestling - I think I know a lot of guys who would pay to see that, and no one would care who wins

Becky "Buckwild" Johnson vs. Amanda "Ice" whatever - they'd need to start with a screaming match, to see who lost the assumed speech patterns first.

New York's new boobs could kill someone if they burst from her dresses; Heather straps hers into place better, so NY might win.

Hotlanta would be too drunk to fight.

Bootz & Bucky in a heartbeat. i think the Wondertwin Power has been weakened.

Rodeo - definitely. Saphyri - I think so.

Schatar vs. Raina - I'd ask for a drama-off rather than a fight. Schatar could wear her "couture" dresses, raina could attack with her tube of perfume.

And I'm thinking Daisy will win, just because she'll kill herself if she doesn't, and Bret is a nice guy and wouldn't want a dead ho on his conscience, even if she did nail CC.

April 10 2008 at 10:31 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Bx Burlesque's comment
Kristin Sample

Ha! I love how you think Buckwild V. Ice would go down. That's so true.

Funny about NY's boobs too. But, I still think if Heather could land one good hit to NY's face (enough to give her a bloody lip or nose), NY would totally freak out. Her mother would come in the ring screaming to the high heavens. They'd make up some story about how Heather cheated and they were never told that you could hit someone in the face. All the while, Heather would be standing there like, "Hit you in the face? It's a damn fight."

April 10 2008 at 12:13 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
cdawg

thanks for the potential spoilers :(
i so hoped he'd pick ambre

April 10 2008 at 10:31 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
slutty_whore

Flavor of Love 1's Goldie v. FOL2 Like Dat v. FOL3 Tik in a battle of the Big Girls!

April 09 2008 at 8:58 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to slutty_whore's comment
Kristin Sample

Nice one.

April 10 2008 at 12:09 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Akbar Fazil

If the rumors out there are to be true, he is gonna pick Daisy. Ewww.

April 09 2008 at 4:46 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
2 replies to Akbar Fazil's comment
Kristin Sample

REally? Even my husband hopes that Ambre will win (and he doesn't even watch the show).

April 09 2008 at 4:53 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Akbar Fazil

I agree, Ambre should totally take it. But yah, strong rumors are floating around that he picks Daisy. Well, at least we know that can never work out and we can of course have Rock of Love 3.

April 09 2008 at 5:53 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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