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Nine recordings by TV stars that should have never happened - VIDEOS

by Paul Goebel, posted Apr 11th 2008 11:01AM

Phyllis Diller and her crewIn this business we call show, there are those people who never let us forget that they are involved to make money. Luckily, those people often occupy the off camera part of the business and let the performers worry about making art. Meanwhile, the business types sit back and try to think up ways they can make more money off of the performers. One of the most insidious ways is to appeal to the star's ego and convince them to make a recording. What follows are some of the best -- and by "best," I mean "WTF?"

Phyllis Diller
"You're Different"
Most people today recognize he name Phyllis Diller but have no idea why she was famous, however if they watch this clip, they can be sure that it isn't for singing.

David Hasselhoff
"Hooked on a Feeling"
There is a certain euphoric feeling you only get after watching The Hoff sing this song about twenty or thirty times. It's a feeling that makes you think, "Gee, he clearly doesn't care that he looks completely idiotic, so I guess I shouldn't be so worried out my own shortcomings.

Scott Baio
"Wanted for Love"
Even as a young man, I was able to discern that Baio had no vocal talent whatsoever. How else could he make Erin Moran sound like a musical prodigy? To this day, I am convinced that the reason Joanie Loves Chachi failed was because people couldn't sit through the theme song every week.

John Schneider
"I've Been Around Enough to Know"
The problem with this song isn't that Schneider has a bad voice, it's actually pretty good. However, I have to ask myself "Does the world really need another lame country song?" I will give Schneider credit for doing a country song and not trying something different, like showtunes.

Lorne Greene
After his version of the Bonanza theme song became a hit, Greene decided he would try his hand at another countrified classic. This song is perfect if you have trouble falling asleep at night.

Jack Webb
"Try a Little Tenderness"
This is on of my all-time favorites. It's a credit to the ego of Webb that he thought people were so in love with his voice that they would actually listen to him recite the lyrics. The no-nonsense, matter-of-fact way he instructs men to pay attention to their women definitley sends mixed signals.

Telly Savalas
"You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling"
Hard as it is to believe, there were once people on this planet who considered Savalas a sex symbol. Luckily, most of them are dead now. The good news is that wherever they are, Savalas is right there, serenading them with this classic.

Leonard Nimoy
"Ballad of Bilbo Baggins"
This song is actually quite famous in the annals of celebrity songs. The great part is that on Nimoy's album, "The Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy," he was forced to do a bunch of corny novelty songs as Spock. This song, however, is one that he CHOSE to do.

Don Johnson
What can be said about Johnson's ill-advised musical venture that hadn't been said about Philip Michael Thomas' crappy record that was released only a few years earlier? I guess we should feel lucky that Zito and Switek never put out a record.

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Tim McCleese

My apologies for misspelling DAVID.

April 11 2008 at 7:38 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Tim McCleese

I thought Davis Hasselhoff's rendition was excellent.

April 11 2008 at 4:52 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Tim McCleese's comment

As phenomenally cheesy as he is, his voice is pretty good.

April 11 2008 at 5:03 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Nimoy choosed it did he?

April 11 2008 at 2:10 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

And how could you forget Steven Seagal??


April 11 2008 at 1:30 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Fish's comment

Surprisingly Segal shouldn't be on the list because that song is actually good. After hearing him that old sarcastic joke advice should be changed to "DO quit your day job".

I wish Chuck Norris singing the Walker Texas Ranger song was on the list, but maybe theme songs don't count.

April 11 2008 at 5:02 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Jim Nabors had a record of the month from Time/Life and a Greatest Hits didn't he. Hell, I think he even had a 30 min. infomercial.

April 11 2008 at 12:52 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

You are forgetting the entire Jim Nabors/Gomer Pyle catalog. What a pyle of crap that was!

April 11 2008 at 12:47 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to MERVE-THE-PERVE's comment
Brent McKee

I have to disagree about including Nabors on this list. While his singing voice is not to everyone's taste, the fact is that the man can sing. Indeed with some training he could have had a career on Broadway or even in opera. His song selection may not have been to your taste but he did have three gold and one platinum records. Scarcely in the craptastic class that this list features.

April 11 2008 at 6:10 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Yeah, I mean Shatner had an ENTIRE ALBUM!

April 11 2008 at 12:32 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

What, was Shatner just too easy? "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", anyone?

April 11 2008 at 11:51 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
The Pepto Pimp

It's Switek and Zito, not Zito and Switek.

Gosh, get it straight, alright?

April 11 2008 at 11:07 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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