I'm worried about Jane Doe
So what did you do yesterday? I spent the entire Sunday watching detective movies on The Hallmark Channel. Of course, when I say "detective movies" it sounds like I was watching old film noir flicks from the 40s and 50s. Actually, I was watching Murder, She Wrote, Perry Mason movies, and Matlock.
Yes, I have the social life of a 70 year-old woman.
I've always been a sucker for these shows, going back to the NBC Mystery Movie and Columbo and McMillan and Wife. Those shows were probably better produced and written than the stuff you see on Hallmark Channel, but I think the new shows are quite entertaining and fun, and it's good to see favorite familiar faces on TV again: the McBride movies with John Larroquette, the Murder 101 movies with Dick Van Dyke, and the TV movie series I'd like to talk about, Jane Doe.
To put it simply, I'm worried about Jane Doe.
Jane (Lea Thompson) is a fortysomething suburban housewife with two kids and a hubby (played by William R. Moses of Melrose Place and Falcon Crest) who supposedly works for a puzzle/toy company. She also happens to be a secret spy who helps out agent Frank Darnell (Joe Penny of Riptide) on baffling cases. Her puzzle background helps in that regard. One problem: she has to keep the assignments secret from her husband and kids. Plots like this have always bothered me. What if Jane is killed on assignment? Not only will the family have to deal with the fact that their wife and mother is dead, but she's been living a secret life for years. That would be crushing.
Anyway, Jane is always getting phone calls and text messages from Frank saying he needs her (if her husband found these text messages he'd probably think she was having an affair, but I digress...), so she'll make up an excuse about there being some type of emergency at the puzzle company (not sure what type of emergencies puzzle companies have, but I'll go along with it) or spilling milk "accidentally" so she has to rush out to the grocery store to get more. Oh, by the way, the secret HQ for the Central Security Agency is in the back of the store.
So we have the set-up for a fun series of movies, sort of a Long Kiss Goodnight meets Banacek. But something troubles me. I've noticed (in the two movies I've watched anyway) that whenever Jane goes out to do a little snooping around, she often goes alone, with no gun. She'll go into abandoned houses and spooky staircases and deserted office buildings, following the bad guy, and then the bad guy will come up behind her and try to shoot her, and all she can do is run or hide in a closet. Now, as far as I know, Jane is not Jason Bourne, able to kill any bad guys with a rolled up newspaper, and she constantly has to duck bullets and call for backup on her cell phone. This is probably really good for Verizon's bottom line, but if she carried a gun she wouldn't get in trouble like this all of the time.
So Jane, I like your movies and I like the plots and I think you're a very smart, capable women. I just wish you'd either carry a gun or just be a little more careful out there, OK? Thanks.