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May 26, 2012

The Daily Show: April 29, 2008 - VIDEOS

by Annie Wu, posted Apr 30th 2008 9:41AM

TDS"Land of the Spree": Grand Theft Auto IV was finally released and gun-wielding crazies took the streets in droves and... very politely waited in line in an orderly manner. Senior Virtual Correspondent Aasif Mandvi reported live from Liberty City to giddily talk about the chaos and loss of life throughout the game. There is nothing better than wreaking havoc in a virtual replica of the city you live in, apparently.


"Justice Scalia" (What? No fun puns that rhyme with "Scalia"?): Justice Anton Scalia recently appeared on 60 Minutes in an in-depth interview. After telling the nation to "get over" the Bush v. Gore case, he went on to claim that torture is not actually fair to refer to as "punishment." Even Senior Virtual Correspondent Aasif Mandvi, speeding through Liberty City, was annoyed enough to chime in and scold Scalia for shrugging off this violence. He then returned to cutting up cops with a machete.



"Sex and the Kiddies": The government has spent over $1 billion trying to keep teenagers from having sex. Abstinence-only programming has proved not nearly as effective as previously hoped. The Daily Show team, always concerned for the health and well-being of their teenage viewers, shared some "Words to Grow By" and informed us on the magical world of "dry humping". And of course, any excuse to bring out Samantha Bee and her increasingly round tummy is fantastic.



The night's guest was Newt Gingrinch, promoting Days of Infamy. The majority of the discussion focused around the media's treatment of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright controversy. The interview was genuinely fascinating, with Jon getting multiple opportunities to remind us that he's not just some comedy monkey who can read headlines. Topics ranged from whether or not Barack Obama should be blamed for knowing someone like Wright and the issue of race and other crazy pastors. Jon totally schooling Newt Gingrinch on John McCain's pastor by promptly bringing out a quote off the top of his head was also pretty nice.



Moment of Zen: Anton Scalia doesn't think torture is punishment. That's just his opinion... which also happens to be correct.

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Karen

I'd love to see Adam P's and Jose's opinions of the distinction between torture or cruel and unusual unpunishment if they themselves were being waterboarded. I suspect that they might not wait to parse the difference then.

Incidentally, the OED does give the #1 definition of "punishment" as a sanction for a crime. But it goes on to note "More widely: rough physical treatment; battering, maltreatment; injury, damage; rough handling or excessive wear of materials or equipment." Of course, we can't go letting the Brits tell us what's constitutional, can we?

Personally, I find the notion nauseating that someone who sits on the highest court of justice in our land would go in for the kind of angels-on-the-head-of-a-pin hairsplitting that says waterboarding is neither torture nor cruel and unusual punishment because it's not done in the cause of executing a sentence.

I might add that of course it's not being done in execution of a sentence--the government won't bother to give any of these prisoners trials in order to reach sentencing.

Simply nauseating.

April 30 2008 at 10:12 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Spencer Gardner

It really shouldn't matter since the US "doesn't torture" so why is Scalia trying to justify it anyway..... hmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

April 30 2008 at 7:35 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jose

You could punish someone by torturing them. But torture could be done not to punish, but to extract information or to coerce someone into doing something (like giving information).

A judge sentencing someone to be tortured as a punishment for a crime would be using torture as a form of punishment.

This is why Scalia is a supreme court justice and John Stewart mugs for the camera on a TV show.

April 30 2008 at 3:56 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Jose's comment
Bash

He Jose. Imagine the following situation:

Interrogator: Tell me where your friends are
Perpetrator: No
Interrogator: If you don't tell me where your friends are I will torture you.

So what if not a punishment is torture then? Torture is punishment.

I know what you two are thinking: the suspect isn't being punished - he doesn't answer so we HAVE to torture him to make him give up the information. But it will ALWAYS be a punishment for NOT ANSWERING.

Gawd. Is it THAT hard to understand?

April 30 2008 at 4:48 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Anon Imus

Is torture punishment? According to the definition handed to me (Thanks, Bash), it *can* be. It can also be a means of coercion. Another form of coercion that is not torture could be blackmail. So, it is possible for torture to also *not* be punisment.

Justice Scalia's job is to decide on nitty gritty definitions such as these. Thankfully it's not ours! Thank you for the discourse.

April 30 2008 at 2:05 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Anon Imus

"Antonin" not "Anton". It's like a subtle effort to make the readers equate him with Anton LaVey, author of the Satanic Bible. Not cool.

Next up, torture versus punishment. Punishment is reactive and punitive... as in "a response to being naughty." By definition, torture COULD be A punishment, but should not be lumped as such.

For example: bacon is pork, but not all pork is bacon. Case by case, my friend.

April 30 2008 at 12:17 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
3 replies to Anon Imus's comment

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