(S04E06) "I don't want to mess with someone crazier than I am." - Matt

Welcome to week 6 of Hell's Kitchen, also known as Everybody Hates Matt. This was one episode where I didn't buy Chef Ramsay's decision at all. He had to choose between three people at the end, and the one who should have gone - clearly - didn't. The one who should have gone second? That person didn't go either. I really think this week was all about "how can we guarantee more reality show tension in the weeks to come?" and not a professional decision. And that's really disappointing to me.

This week both teams had to cook for a girl's Sweet 16 party. Both teams go to Farmers Market and have to decide which food to buy. This is a really funny sequence, if only for the fact that no one listens to a thing Matt says. First he suggests sushi for the teens, and that is laughed off (funny, I thought California girls would be hip to sushi), and when he tries to point them in the direction of a separate store at the Farmer's Market (he must say "there's a little supermarket over there" five or six times), they ignore that too. They don't like him.

They get back to Hell's Kitchen and have 45 minutes to prepare dishes. Of course, the teen girl, Melissa, is the one that will make the decision about what food she wants at the party (odd comment from Petrozza: "It's not a professionals opinion anymore" - yeah Petrozza, get used to that if you work in restaurants). Mom comes along too, and I think she'd be at home over on Bravo's Real Housewives. The teams are tied, and just when it looks like Melissa is going to pick the women's dishes, Mom pushes her into choosing the guys'. That means for the first time, the men win a challenge, and they get to go act like teens again, eating lots of desserts at Simon L.A. and riding go-karts.

Back at Hell's Kitchen, it's Francisco time! He's the rather, um, flamboyant party planner who is in charge of helping the women decorate the place for the party. Let's just say that Melissa's mom doesn't like the decoration or the colors ("I want silver, not red"). Francisco wants the place to look "sparkalicious," but Christina makes the observation that she's not really "friendalicious" with him.

If I were to tell you that a lot of the food goes out undercooked, would that surprise you? Of course not. It always goes out undercooked. Unfortunately, the victims this time are the honoree of the night, Melissa, and her picky mom. Melissa's beef is undercooked and mom's fish isn't doing too well either. Bobby manhandles Matt and takes over his station, Rosann screws up her station (again), and Ben seriously insults Shayna's avocado mango salsa, which she spent all morning chopping up. This isn't brought up to Chef Ramsay, and I bet it's because he would probably find such perfectionism endearing (more on Shayna later though).

The service is over, and while The Pink Spiders play outside for the guests, Ramsay tells the teams that once again he can't pick a losing team, because the party guests both gave high marks to both teams. Matt interrupts and says "thank you for your generosity," and Ramsay just says "fuck generosity, Matt," which I find hysterical. Matt doesn't know when to "not talk." The teams have to pick one person each. Matt is hated by everyone and goes to pack because he knows he's going, and the women can't decide between Roseann and Shayna.

The men do indeed pick Matt, and the women pick...Shayna! This is more confusing to Chef Ramsay than an episode of Lost. He tells Rosann to join the group. It's at this point that I think it's a no-brainer that Matt is going: his team hates him, he's always screwing up, and he has that really unpleasant look of constipation and sadness/anger that irritates everyone, including Ramsay.

So what does Ramsay do? He tells Matt he's safe! I think Matt actually helped himself by saying "if I stay, I'd be happy to go on the women's team." I think this could have turned the tables a bit, with Ramsay and FOX saying, "hey, that would be a neat twist!" Anyway, at this point I think that the one to pick is Roseann. It's not the first time she screwed up and won't be the last. But Ramsay picks Shayna! He tells her she has heart but she's slow. I think this is a nice way of saying what one of the women said, that she's overweight.

So, to repeat what I said at the start, I think this was more of a reality show decision than a real-life decision.

Next week: Matt gets his wish...he's joining the women! I have to admit I can't wait to see that.

Louross Quote of the Night: "That's when she becomes all demanding!" - on girls turning 16