America's Next Top Model: And the Winner Is... (season finale)
(S10E13) The above screencap is the photographic equivalent of a horizontal suck sandwich.
Okay, that's not entirely accurate. The photos of Whitney and Anya are perfectly fine, but my hatred for the individual in the center pretty much taints the picture for me.And in a broader sense, that's been the overarching flaw with cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model.
Now, I don't want to put too much thought into this argument because I'm lazy, but Dominique and Fatima lasting as long as they did kind of put a stain on this cycle for me.
Sure, there's a part of me that was glad these two hairy warts on the face of the modeling community hung around for so long because it made it a hell of a lot easier to be snarky for 13 hours worth of television.
That slight benefit aside, isn't anyone else horrified how close we came to one of these wildebeest winning? One episode ago, we had a 50% chance of Dominique or Fatima winning this thing. At the beginning of tonight's show we had a 33% chance of Fatima winning.
This is a modeling competition about beauty--both internally and externally as cheesy and cliché as that sounds. I found Dominique to be the antithesis of beauty inside and out. Fatima was pretty on the outside for the most part, but from what I saw of her innards she was rotten.
As fans of the show, shouldn't we be questioning the integrity of the competition at this point? More importantly, shouldn't we be rioting outside of The CW studios demanding that Tyra and the rest of the panel endure a mandatory psychological evaluation? They just can't be right in the head! They nearly made a nation of aspiring adolescent models look up to and/or emulate their looks and their actions.
It wouldn't have been pretty ladies and gentlemen, but thankfully a national catastrophe was likely averted tonight.
The episode was pretty much a whirlwind and I'm thankful for it because I've about run out of things to say about it.
We quickly learned that the girls would be shooting a CoverGirl TV commercial and a print ad in which the winner would be prominently displayed in a Walmart ad and a billboard in Times Square.
At this point Saleisha made an appearance. She didn't really have a whole lot to offer the girls in terms of words of wisdom, but she did to a fairly decent job of illustrating what the girls shouldn't do with their hair.
Fatima looked decent in her commercial but really rushed the cadence of her speech, which ultimately took away from her overall performance.
Whitney had a few hiccups here and there, but produced the best product--all without summoning her inner Pacino. Apparently, she took the panels criticisms to heart because she didn't exaggerate her speech and there were no over-the-top facial expressions. Good for her.
Then there was Anya...
Okay, this screencap isn't really fair because we all know Anya doesn't have a lazy eye but I'm pretty sure I've gotten to the point where I find her "accent" as distracting as a lazy eye.
You know how when you're having a conversation with an individual who has a lazy eye, and your own eyes keep wandering over to their lazy eye and you lose your focus? My mind tends to do that whenever Anya speaks. I see her speaking and I hear the words coming out of her mouth, but the part of my brain that has to decipher absolutely gibberish takes over and I end up having no clue what just occurred.
Jay seemed to think that Anya salvaged the shoot because she radiates energy and "we just relate to her." I disagree completely. I had a Speak and Spell when I was a kid. My parents read to me. I had a copy of Hooked on Phonics. I've got a fairly decent grasp of the English language. I do not relate to Anya at all.
The Midway Elimination
I was most impressed by Whitney's CoverGirl ad and agreed that Fatima and Anya's gaze was a bit too heavenly. I didn't agree with Paulina saying that Anya looked stupid in her ad? Where in the hell did that comment come from? Doesn't Paulina know that you readers and I are the only people allowed to say rude things about the contestants? How dare she.
And with this sequence came the end of my arch nemesis. Anticlimactic, I know, but I've expended so much energy criticizing her and Dominique this season, I've about run out of things to say. Well almost...
I did get a kick out of Fatima proclaiming that she "made history" by being the first refugee woman to be a part of America's Next Top Model. Made history? Seriously? Are they going to cover this in Junior High history class after the Emancipation Proclamation? Priceless.
Farewell Fatima. May your journey into obscurity be long and painful.
The finale found the girl on the runway wearing clothing handpicked by Donatella Versace. Allegedly, this was the largest, most high fashion runway show ever to occur in Top Model history. It didn't appear any more lavish then runway shows in cycles past, but it did include a lot of scary looking nearly nude male models with vacant expressions on their face.
And here is how the girls looked:
I have to hand it to her, Whitney absolutely annihilated the runway. She's got the model walk down to a science and the fact that she has "a juicy booty" only acted to accentuate the fierceness of her stride.
I actually found myself shocked by Anya's lackluster presence on the runway. You could tell early in the episode during her breakdown that the competition had really drained her. She just didn't appear all that confident and she didn't adjust very well to the tight silver dress she was stuffed in during her second pass. It's a shame she hit a low point when it counted the most, particularly after flying so high a majority of the season.
It was pretty easy to tell what was going to happen at this point, agree?
As usual, the girls were fighting for a contract with Elite Model Management, a cover and six-page spread in Seventeen magazine, and a 100K contract with CoverGirl cosmetics.
And the winner was, Whitney. Finally, after 10 long cycles a model with some curves won the competition! I didn't figure it'd happen before this show went off the air, but we all know I've made a habit of being wrong about these things.
And like that we're done. Writing the recaps for the last three cycles has been a lot of fun. I've appreciated each and every reader and all the kind comments from last week's recap. I'll miss writing these as much as you'll miss reading them.
Look me up on the Facebook if you want to stay in touch. There's a chance I'll continue the recaps in some form come cycle 11...
|Yes! No contest. Whitney deserved to win.||858 (74.5%)|
|Nope. Anya was robbed. She was a much better candidate.||293 (25.5%)|
|I'll watch this show 'til the day I die.||679 (79.7%)|
|This show has run it's course. I'm done.||173 (20.3%)|