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July 23, 2014

Five greatest GOB moments (season one) - VIDEOS

by Kristin Sample, posted Jun 11th 2008 11:04AM
GOB on his segueThe segue. The illusions. The initials. The menacing raspy voice, calling "Michael." GOB is my favorite character on Arrested Development. And this week, I will pay tribute to him by bringing you The Five Greatest GOB Moments, one list per season.

It's gonna be good times after the jump!

Here's something to start us off... Club Sauce


1. The Aztec Tomb

Michael: "So this is the magic trick huh?"
GOB: "Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...or candy."

We first met GOB aboard a yacht at George, Sr.'s retirement party. Of course, he couldn't help Michael pay for the party because he spent $18,000 on his new trick, er, illusion called The Aztec Tomb. Later on in the pilot, GOB tries to hide his father in the Tomb when the police crash the soiree.




2. I've Made a Huge Mistake

"Life, Dad. I killed a guy." --GOB to his father when George, Sr. asks him what the heck he's doing in prison.

But GOB's not serving a life sentence in "Key Decisions," which aired on November 23, 2003. In an effort to upstage his girlfriend Marta, an actress on a Spanish language soap opera called El Amor Prohibido, GOB stands up during her interview and announces that he'll be escaping from prison: "No shackles can hold these hands. Say that for them in Spanish."

After many attempts, GOB finally swallows the key but realizes once inside that he can't pass the key. He needs a private bathroom to do so. This marks the first time GOB says, "I've made a huge mistake." He says it again later on in the episode after he recommits himself to Marta.

3. Hermano

"You're a good man, mon frere. I don't know why I know that. I took four years of Spanish." --GOB to Michael, thanking him for helping uncover the true identity of "Hermano."

This joke about Marta's secret lover started with "Marta Complex" and was continued on in "Beef Consumme." After hearing his girlfriend on the phone with her mother, GOB realizes that she might be interested in another man. His only clue? The man's name is "Hermano." Michael, who is in love with Marta, agrees to track down Hermano and follows Marta to the set of El Amor Prohibido.

In the following episode, Buster also falls for Marta after breaking things off with Lucille Austero. Looks like three hermanos are in love with one girl. Buster also tells his hermanos that he's always wanted to get hit in the face.

GOB: "Wait, you know hermano?"
Buster: "Hermano is brother in Spanish. As in, 'Hey, hermano.'"
GOB: "Hermano means brother? Well, sounds like Hermano is about to get his ass kicked."
Buster: "Well, that's exactly what I wanted. Alright Let's get it over with."

4. The Chicken Dance

The first chicken dance! I'm including it as one of GOB's greatest moments because the chicken dance provided much laughter over the three seasons. In "Staff Infection," aired on March 14th, 2004, the siblings all wanted their paychecks and Michael started cracking down. Lindsay had to answer the phones. Buster had to work in the copy room, but since confined spaces scare him, he was moved to construction. GOB joined him at the site but then got the rest of the workers riled up and tried to lead a mutiny. Buster disagreed with his brother, saying that work is fun. GOB called him a chicken and... so was born the chicken dance. The threat ended with the brothers facing off in a real battle of chicken... not with hot rod cars, but with slow-moving construction vehicles.




5. The Disappearing Yacht

"Any magician can make a Queen of Diamonds disappear. What about a whole BOAT?" --GOB during Spring Break, "Missing Kitty"

This illusion wasn't an illusion at all. After announcing that he'll make the yacht disappear at a Girls with Low Self-Esteem filming the year prior, GOB sinks the yacht. Hey, disappearing is disappearing, right? Michael, needless to say, is appalled that GOB sunk a $700,000 yacht. He's even further scared when he finds out the George Michael could've been on the yacht. Thankfully, George Michael is safe. But poor Kitty isn't. George, Sr.'s secretary and the cooler marked "H. MADDAS" was on the yacht.

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Sam


Michael: "So this is the magic trick huh?"
GOB: "Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...or candy."

In the extended version of this episode, he says "a trick is something a whore does for money... or cocaine" which I think is even funnier, though a very different sort of joke.

June 15 2008 at 1:45 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Beth

Thanks to Retro Squad, I've brushed the dust off of my AD dvds (ok they weren't THAT dusty as I had just watched them about 3 months ago), and I'm marathoning them all soon!

Seriously, this has made me want the movie so much more!

June 11 2008 at 10:46 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
gbusters84

Probably my favorite Gob moment (from "The Cabin Show"):

Gob: I don't see you crying, robot. You taste these tears. Taste the sad, Michael.
Michael: I'm not gonna lick your eye.
Gob: Well I will tell you this, Michael. I don't have a son.
Narrator: He does.
Gob: But if I ever do, I'm either gonna take him to the cabin in the woods or I'm gonna promise to take him and then not take him. But the one thing that I will NEVER do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him.
Narrator: Gob was growing up.

June 11 2008 at 9:41 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Edd

I've been posting GOB quotes in other threads, but still....

GOB: I'm the first-born, the matriarch, if you will.
Michael: Sure, I will

Gob: [Gob's wife has served him divorce papers] And now she's stomping on my heart.
Michael: What's her first name? Quickly!
Gob: [flustered] Crindee!
Michael: Name's not Crindee, Gob.
Gob: [Reads papers] Ah, Saul Zetzmann. Nope. That's her lawyer. Well, she's GOT a name. And I'm gonna find out what it is. And I'm gonna make a pun on it. And that's what I'll call her. Bad example: if her name's Amy, I'll call her "Blame-y."
Michael: That's a strong defense.

Gob: Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.

Gob: You should have stuck around to see me get some major action. From a major blonde. Who just "majored" in marine biology, if you know what I mean.
Michael: No, I don't. I can't imagine what that means.

"You know it's true, everything I do, I doooo it for yooooo"

Franklin (the puppet): "You've ruined the act GOB"

GOB [about Franklin]: He's all puckered and white
Michael: Well at least he'll be allowed in the country club now
GOB: That's exactly the short of joke he would have loved

Any time he calls George-Michael a pot-head
When he smokes weed and tries to hide it
Any COME ON!!! or MICHAEL!! or ILLUSION MICHAEL!! or CHICKEN DANCE!!!

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT

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Please make a film!

June 11 2008 at 3:46 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Edd's comment
Kristin Sample

I loved reading this.

June 12 2008 at 2:31 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Karen

Sigh.

AD.

::sigh::

But, incidentally, a "segue" is a transition. A "Segway" is the Dean Kamen invention.

June 11 2008 at 11:33 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Karen's comment
Kristin Sample

Ahh, good call. And to think, there's a Segway store about ten blocks from where I live.

June 12 2008 at 2:31 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Erin

Thank you for this! I always enjoy your Arrested Development posts!

June 11 2008 at 11:26 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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