Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

Remember when you were watching Pinky and the Brain and the Brain would think of these abstract, convoluted plots for taking over the world? Or when Scott Evil was pointing out to his father how easy it would be to shoot Austin Powers in the head rather than subject him to some sort of silly trap from which he could escape. I'm convinced they were parodying the Legion of Doom's methodology from the Challenge of the Super Friends which ran from 1978 to 1979 on ABC. Their simple goal was stated in the opening credits: the conquest of the Universe, with a subordinate goal of the destruction of the Super Friends. They failed every time, and I think that's partially due to poor planning.

With that in mind, here are the top five silliest plans from the Legion of Doom to accomplish their goals:

1. They turned four of their members into giants to conquer the world. This was Bizarro's idea, which could explain why it wasn't so bright. The imperfect clone of Superman doesn't have to eat, but everyone else who was made into a giant does. Their food needs must be enormous. Not to mention the fact that being 100 feet tall would certainly put a dent on your sex life (and they didn't have the foresight to increase the size of their two female members, Cheetah and Giganta). What about clothes? If they ripped their clothes, how would they find a tailor that could mend or replace it? And how would they be able to spend all the money they wanted to steal anyway? They couldn't even find it afterward. The notes would be too small to see with their naked eye.

2. They went back in time to prevent the most powerful Super Friends from existing. Messing with time travel and cause-and-effect is always a big kerfuffle. For example, Lex Luthor's origin is intertwined with Superman's. If you get rid of Superman, then the leader of the Legion of Doom wouldn't exist either. For that matter, the Legion of Doom itself would likely not exist to go back in time and prevent the Super Friends from existing. And if they could time travel then why do they still need to resort to robbery or blackmail? They could patent the technology for far more money than that. For all it's intelligence, the Legion is pretty small-minded. That would explain their Darth Vader-looking headquarters in a swamp rather than a Manhattan penthouse.

3. They turned the entire population of Earth into Cheetahs and Bizarros. I could almost see the Legion of Doom turning the entire population of Earth into Bizarros (although Bizarro himself isn't that bright; he's the most powerful member of the group but he follows Luthor), but why Cheetahs? The Cheetah was only a woman in a spandex cat suit. How is making all the women of the world wear spandex cat suits better for the Legion of Doom? If they just wanted to make the entire planet subservient to them, why bother changing them at all? Why not just hypnotize the lot of them? Notice in the photo that all the Bizarros became cops as well. Just what this planet needs: Bizarro cops.

4. They trapped three of the Super Friends on the Toyman's world, beyond a black hole. If he has a world filled with high-tech toys existing beyond a black hole, why does the Toyman need to rob banks? He has mastered a technology that allows for travel through black holes, not to mention the ability to construct an entire world filled with technological marvels, yet he robs banks. He's not even the smartest member of the Legion of Doom. If these people really got their crap together, they could open a can of whoop-ass all over the Super Friends. I think that's the real superpower of the heroes: they coerce the villains to do nothing outside of robbing banks.

5. They made a deal with an alien race called The Fearians. Legion of Doom member Brainiac supposedly is the most advanced super-computer on the planet, but even he couldn't figure out that a race called the Fearians might be even slightly suspicious? And why is the Legion so Earth-centric anyway, to the point where they'd let an alien race actually change the Earth even if they offer to get rid of the Super Friends? Isn't that against the group charter of "conquering the universe"? Shouldn't they have been trying to conquer the Fearians? After watching this episode, I'm even more convinced that a more appropriate name for the group would be the Legion of Tools.

In truth, every episode of the show was pretty silly and made little sense. That was the fun of it.