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September 5, 2015

Six Feet Under: Tears, Bones, and Desire - VIDEO

by Erin Martell, posted Jul 1st 2008 10:02AM
Peter Krause, Michael C. Hall, Frances Conroy, Lauren Ambrose, and Freddy Rodriguez
Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

(S03E08) Two words: Jeanne Tripplehorn. Keith's paintball revenge was his finest moment on the show as far as I'm concerned. The Fishers and Diazes played against type and became people of action, if only for a short while. David and Keith settled their differences on the battlefield, Ruth made several uncomfortable moves on Arthur, and Lisa sized up her competition. Petrarch, head lice, and polygamy also came into play.

You knew that Keith wouldn't take his brunch humiliation lying down; he's not that kind of guy. He had a rare moment of insecurity during the Leading Ladies game, but regained his confidence at Gay Paintball. Anyone in a relationship has been outnumbered by their significant others' friends or colleagues at some point. Keith avenged all of us, and I couldn't stop cheering for him. The basics of Keith and David's relationship always excited me more than Keith's family and career drama. The characters on Six Feet Under did a lot of talking over the show's five seasons. The guys took a welcome break from fighting and ended up even closer as a result.

Conversely, this episode marked the beginning of the end for Claire and Russell. I cannot get over the look on Claire's face when she realized that Olivier was "having a boy year." It must have been awkward for poor Claire to pick Russell up after he cheated on her. Most people don't chauffeur their boyfriends to and from the other man's home. She really was a great assistant. I felt for Claire, but any episode with Olivier in it is OK by me. Back in the day I would sit back and wait for Olivier to say something ridiculous. He reminds me of a college student who never matured, which made his choice of profession appropriate. This time he pretended to critique print advertising just so he could read a teen magazine on the job.

The rest of the Fisher-Diaz relationships were a mixed bag of nuzzling, cemetery picnics, and weepy massages. Ruth's parade of unusual boyfriends continued with Arthur Martin. She's living proof that taking advice from lice-infested polygamists is unwise. Ruth often made a habit of following advice without taking time to process it, and this episode was no exception. Someone should have told her that not every situation and self-help seminar necessarily applies to her. Vanessa's depression storyline never did much for me. The only highlight of Rico and Vanessa's scenes was that Rico used the Fishers as an example of self-pity and mourning gone way too far. Lisa took her creepiness to the next level by stalking Brenda at the spa. I love that Dana "reassured" Lisa's fears about Nate by saying that Nate loved Maya too much to leave. Naturally, Lisa ignored the truth and focused on her paranoia.

"Tears, Bones, and Desire" wasn't one of those mind-blowing, character-transforming chapters, but I chose to review it for its classic smaller moments. David and Keith's paintball excursion was the highlight of the episode. I still think about Jeanne Tripplehorn whenever I'm in Keith's shoes.

My favorite lines of the episode:

  • "How could you forget Waterworld? It was three hours long." --David
  • "Come on, you fa-la-la mimosa mother****ers!" --Keith
  • Terry calling the lady paintballer "Agnes Moorhead" as trash talk

As a parting gift, here's a clip of the paintball scenes from "Tears, Bones, and Desire":

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