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April 24, 2014

Super Skank Wednesday: The I Love Money casting special

by Kristin Sample, posted Jul 2nd 2008 5:42PM
Hoopz is on I Love Money
Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

There's been a lull in trashtastic programming lately. I'm stuck watching So You Think You Can Dance (some of the those Latin ballroom costumes are a little slutty) and Secret Diary of a Call Girl (scripted skankiness). I long for VH1 to start their summer of skanktacity. We got a little taste last night with the I Love Money casting special. Check out my review after the jump.

I didn't know if the casting special would deliver, but it was good! Great even. These people are the best. I love some of them. I loathe some of them. And some just make me feel so much better about my life. Isn't it awesome how many of them still live with their parents? And they made such a big deal of that on I Love New York with Frank The Entertainer.

Here's the rundown:

I split the cast up into three categories: the normal, the hated, and the weird. First, we have the normal (well, normal for celebreality).

Hoopz is probably the most well-adjusted of the bunch. She lives with her boyfriend. The two of them are super competitive -- they even have a championship belt that they share. I found a scandal though! Hoopz apparently gets together with Real on I Love Money. What happens to the live-in boyfriend? Something to watch for.

Midget Mac has two babies and another one on the way. I loved watching him play with his little girls.

Brandi C. was surprisingly normal. Well, normal except for her weird pink woven headband. And the pink dog. What was that about? She tried on bikinis for us too. I'm sure you dudes loved that.

I know 12 Pack is only kind of normal but I had to categorize him somewhere. I'm a little neurotic like that. He and Heat seem like they had a falling out. And once we got to Heat's video package, I think you could see why.

Then there's my favorite rocker wild child Heather Chadwell. She's no longer a stripper in Vegas. Now she's a stripper in Los Angeles.

Now, I put WhiteBoy in the normal section because I believe that persona is really him. Doesn't it fit that his day job is managing his pawn shop? I love how he introduced his dad, the owner of said pawn shop, "Without him, none of this would be possible." What? The pawn shop?

Destiney totally gets on the normal list. I like how she thanked everybody for the donations to the liver foundation.

Let's go over the people I hate. And I mean really hate...

Pumkin is still a delusional idiot. What was with her saying that Mo'Nique doesn't like her because she's skinny and white? Who says that? (You know I'm happy we already have a person to hate on the show.) And they totally paid those people to be friends with her for the video.

Speaking of delusions of grandeur...Heat needs to be committed. His package was over-the-top. The making love to the camera. The Heat plaque that vibrates. The fake Mexican accent. But my favorite part had to be when he walked up on the street and pretended to be on his cell phone like, "Oh, I didn't see you there." (Of course, he was on an important call with someone, er, very important.)

Megan has gotten progressively more annoying since the beginning of Rock of Love 2. I liked her on Beauty and the Geek. But now I just think she's disgusting. (Did you see CeCe from Beauty and the Geek was vacationing with her?)

Okay, I don't really hate Real and Chance. I dislike Chance and I'm undecided about Real because of his familial connection to Chance. And there's a third "stallionaire." I love all their haircuts. Real sports a Diana Ross doo. Chance sports the "wanksta" look with a matching bandana and expensive bejeweled baseball cap. And the third one looks like Ike Turner. Yeah, Ike Turner.

I saved the best for last. Here's the people who are just plain weird, the self-esteem boosters if you will.

Oh, Rodeo, thank-you for making me feel good about my life. Here's the quote that explains it all: "She burst into tears. She realized who I was and she was like, 'Rodeo, I can't believe you're here for me today.'" I'm laughing even as I write this.

Toastee lives with exotic animals including Timon from The Lion King, a tiny monkey and a small leopard. There has to be a law against owning those animals.

The Entertainer is ridiculously pathetic. The best part of the video package was The Entertainer's brother, Sal. "OHH! It's The Entertainer's brother Sal," he screamed.

Mr. Boston has been "getting laid like crazy since the show." He gets so much stank on his hanglow that he has to put his STD results on his bedroom door. (Sidenote: What was with Gary Busey showing up?)

I didn't even put Nibblz on the list. She got thirty seconds to everyone else's three or four minutes. I think she's getting kicked off first. Everyone else on the show is an all-star and she's just, "Oh, yeah. That girl. The creepy nympho from Flavor of Love with the lisp."

That's it for me. Who are your favorites? Who do you hate the most? I Love Money premieres this Sunday on VH1 at 9 p.m. ET.

Place your bets. Who's going home first?
Nibblz33 (26.4%)
Mr. Boston1 (0.8%)
Megan1 (0.8%)
Pumkin1 (0.8%)
Real1 (0.8%)
Chance1 (0.8%)
Midget Mac54 (43.2%)
Hoopz7 (5.6%)
The Entertainer1 (0.8%)
12 Pack3 (2.4%)
Heather1 (0.8%)
Destiney2 (1.6%)
Heat1 (0.8%)
Rodeo5 (4.0%)
Brandi C.4 (3.2%)
Toastee7 (5.6%)
WhiteBoy2 (1.6%)

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