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September 4, 2015

Six TV characters with whom I'd like to share July 4th - VIDEO

by Allison Waldman, posted Jul 4th 2008 10:04AM
Gilmore dinerSo, did you hear that they did a poll they did to determine which presidential candidate people would like to hang out with at a barbecue? Obama won 52 to 45 percent over McCain, which may not mean very much in the long run, but the day before July 4th it made news.

The thought of barbecues and July 4th parties got me thinking about which TV characters with whom I'd like to spend Independence Day. I wouldn't want them here at my place, though, I want to go to their places. I have high expectations, too, and a vivid imagination.

Here's the six TV characters who could expect me to join them to watch the rockets red glare -- if only they were real live folks and not just my fictional faves.

1) Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy
When Ricky and Lucy moved to Connecticut, one of the first things they did was build a beautiful barbecue. Remember? Lucy thought she lost her ring in the cement, but it was just Ricky teaching her a lesson because he'd pocketed the ring when he saw it next to the cement? Anyway, the Ricardos would be a swell place for the 4th because as a Cuban-born American (thanks to his marriage to Lucy), Ricky would blend the best of Americana with his Latin roots. He might decide to roast a pig in the Cubano tradition, and I could imagine him introducing the Mertzes to the tangy taste of a mojito. For fireworks, Lucy would surely take center stage, with or without sparklers and cherry bombs.

2) Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Barney with Ted, Marshall, Lily and Robin. On the 4th of July in New York City, it would be -- wait for it -- awesome. I would trust Barney to make all the arrangements -- he's got the Platinum Card to pay for the limo, the drinks, the good time. I'd even suit up for the occasion if those were the Stinson party rules. I don't think I'm Barney's type (damn that wedding ring!), but I'd be willing to swap Bob Barker stories with him and listen to his tales of the awesomeness that is Barney.

3) Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H
Even when Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, M.D., was stuck in Korea, he knew how to party. I would be willing to travel into a war zone just to take part in Hawkeye's July 4th soiree. In my mind, he'd go all out, like the time he ordered ribs from Chicago. The place was called Adam's Ribs and Hawkeye had to have some; he couldn't stand the liver and fish that they were serving up in the mess tent. The way they described those ribs had me drooling. So, if July 4th plans are in order for the 4077, I'm voting for Chicago's best ribs and I'm inviting myself. As far as fireworks, the North Koreans could be counted on to provide plenty.

4) JR Ewing, Dallas
They do things big and bold at Southfork. The Ewings would be sure to be grilling a side of beef -- ribs, steaks, roasts and barbecued beef -- in traditional Texas style. The spread would be lush, with white linen tablecloths and the finest china, no paper plates and napkins for JR's clan. Since there was always a chance for conflict among the Ewings and Cliff Barnes or Ray Krebbs, I'm not going without a firearm. It might seem like a dream, but I'm not risking winding up shot like JR, even if he did survive Kristin Shepherd trying to kill him.

5) Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
There wasn't a season or a holiday that went by that wasn't celebrated in Stars Hollow, Connecticut, home of Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. The townsfolk, as quirky as they were, always did something special for the holidays and I know July 4th would be unique. Kirk and Taylor would man the fireworks, Miss Patty would design a dance in celebration of Independence Day. Mrs. Kim would wonder why they were making such a fuss. I'd be glad to stay at the Dragonfly Inn where Suki would cook up traditional and untraditional fare, because you can't tell a chef like Suki to make hot dogs and beans for the 4th. However, if all else fails, Luke will be pouring the coffee and grilling burgers at Luke's Diner where I could sit for hours -- not using my cell phone -- but trying to keep up with Lorelai and Rory's rapid-fire dialog.

6) Monica Geller, Friends
It's true that there's not patio or rooftop in the building where Monica and Rachel and Chandler and Joey lived, and the fire escape only held two at a time, but Monica was a top-notch chef and she had really fun friends. July 4th would be a blast with them, especially since they could look out the windows and probably see the Macy's July 4th fireworks over the East River. I'm sure that Ross and Phoebe would join us, and whether Monica chooses to make barbecued chicken or hot dogs, you know it'll be delicious -- just stay away from turkey because Joey may put it on his head. Remember this:

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I'd want to spend my holiday with buffy and the scoobies even though celebrating a holiday/birthday on the hellmouth means an 83% chance of becoming a Zombie.

July 08 2008 at 9:37 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Chris McCoy

I just wanted to thank you for posting the video of Joey with the turkey on his head. I watched every friends episode when they originally aired. I have caught a few reruns now & then, but haven't seen this episode since the first time. You gave me some much needed laughter today!

July 06 2008 at 11:05 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Fourth of July with the Ricardos. Yes! Nothing better than hot pork on the pit and a cold mojito in my hand. Plus, Lucy is always good for entertaining hijinks and I've always wanted to be in black-and-white!! :o)

July 04 2008 at 5:24 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

The Bluth clan - that'd be messed up!

July 04 2008 at 10:43 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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