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With the exception of Coach, no one knows exactly what became of the gang at Cheers. What follows is a collection of hypothetical obits for the regulars at everyone's favorite Boston hangout.

Hilary "Norm" Peterson
1948-2002
"Norm" Peterson was struck down by a fatal heart attack after attending a party honoring a friend in Seattle. Mr. Peterson was a loving husband, talented house painter and an accountant. He is survived by his wife Vera, who requests to be left to grieve in private. Services will be held at the The Hungry Heifer in Boston.

Gallery: Cheers Obits

Dr. Lilith Sternin
1958-2015
Dr. Sternin died this week under mysterious circumstances after an accident occurred at an undisclosed laboratory. It is rumored that she and her fellow researchers were exploring new ways to harness the energies of a variety of snack foods. Dr. Sternin is survived by her sons Frederick and Mortimer. Instead of flowers, friends are requested to make a donation to the Research for a Better Beer Nut Foundation.

Robin Colcord
1944-2027
After a long battle with Alzheimer's, Robin Colcord passed away last night due to complications caused by his refusal to confuse liquids. Surviving Mr. Colcord is his longtime companion and business partner Evan Drake.

Clifford Clavin
1947-2003
After retiring from the United States Postal Service Clifford Clavin finally married and lived out his dream of retiring to Burbank, California. He was a regular audience member at such shows as The Tonight Show and Jeopardy but in December of 2002 he disappeared while returning from the funeral of his longtime friend Norm Peterson. Mr. Clavin was legally pronounced dead after numerous petitions from his wife Carla Lozupone Tortelli Labec Clavin.

Rebecca Howe
1950-2020
Rebecca Howe died from complications caused by an ongoing struggle with a variety of eating disorders. After being left at the altar for a record eleventh time, Ms. Howe convinced herself that it was her weight that was keeping her from finding a husband. After living on a diet of cigarettes and grapefruit for over a year, she finally passed away weighing only 84 pounds.