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October 4, 2015

Captain Kirk's top five women

by Brad Trechak, posted Jul 14th 2008 3:45PM
Edith KeelerThis article could easily have been called "James T. Kirk's Top Five Loves", one of which would undoubtedly be the Enterprise, or "James T. Kirk's Top Five Seductions", but those titles didn't quite convey the connotation I was looking for. As everybody who ever watched Trek Classic knows, the good captain had his fair share of women, getting involved with a different one once every three episodes or so.

The man oozed excess testosterone, which might have explained his hair loss later on. You'd think the 23rd century would learn to regrow it better. Then came the 24th century look when baldness was "in". But I digress. It was also his self-confidence that made him without question a chick magnet. This aspect of the character undoubtedly appealed to the uber-nerds who watched Star Trek then and now.

Kirk has been accused of being sexist and misogynistic. I don't believe that's true, but I do think Kirk's very nature prevented him from having any long-term or lasting relationships. He wasn't that good at discussing his feelings (sensitivity obviously also didn't become "in" until the 24th century). He was too busy saving the universe as he knew it. In this sense, he was self-destructive. I sometimes wonder what a date between him and Carrie Bradshaw from Sex And The City would be like.

Some of his short-term relationships influenced him more than others. It's questionable if he even had sex with some of them, but I like to think he did.

Edith KeelerEdith Keeler - This brief relationship from "The City on the Edge of Forever" is considered to be Kirk's ultimate relationship. Let's face it -- he nailed a young Joan Collins. I don't know a single heterosexual male who wouldn't want to nail a young Joan Collins.

Unlike many of Kirk's bimbos, she actually had a brain and personality. Moreover, he actually fell in love with her. Not a fling; the real love thing. In the original script it was Spock that was supposed to hold back McCoy and allow her to die, which reinstated the original timeline. After Gene Roddenberry and company got through with it, it was Kirk that held McCoy back. I like Harlan Ellison's original version better. Who would allow the love of their life to die, particularly a guy like Kirk and his "damn the consequences" attitude.

MiramaneeMiramanee - She was a tribal priestess on the planet Amerind (her tribe was reminiscent of the "American Indian," hence the planet name). She did what no other woman has done before or since: she got Kirk to marry her. Granted, he was under the influence of an alien obelisk and amnesiac at the time, but it did still happen. She was also pregnant with Kirk's child. Sadly, unlike his other child, this one did not survive. Neither did his wife.

Star Trek
Fate made her suffer the famous "red shirt syndrome" when another member of her tribe hits her in the abdomen with a rock and even 23rd century medicine can't save her. Despite (or possibly because of) her astonishing accomplishment, she becomes expendable so Kirk can remain a starship captain.

Lt. Marlena MoreauLt. Marlena Moreau - She only appeared in the episode "Mirror, Mirror" and she serves as a good example. It's easy to think of Kirk as misogynistic, but he's nowhere near as bad as his evil counterpart from another dimension.

She was the "captain's woman", a position which would provide support and implied sexual favors for the ship's captain. It seemed more of a slave position that one of choice, although there was a degree of power with it. She was a strong character, using the ship's tantalus field weapon to save good Kirk from an assassination attempt by evil Sulu. The good Lieutenant Moreau wasn't anywhere near as interesting as her evil counterpart, but good people never are.

Yeoman RandYeoman Janice Rand - It was never explicitly said in the series, but it was implied that she was Jim Kirk's "companion" (not to be confused with "captain's woman"). She took care of Kirk's manly needs while he was busy saving the universe. Of all the women listed, I think she can take the title of having slept with Captain Kirk the most, since she was there for multiple episodes of Season One. She could have sex with Kirk dispassionately for the good of Starfleet (or maybe she couldn't, which explains her absence in subsequent seasons).

I never understood the position of "Yeoman" in the original series. It seemed more of a glorified secretary. However, noting that most Yeomen were attractive women, well, that's where the "implied" part comes in. You can stop judging me now.

Dr. Carol MarcusDr. Carol Marcus - Okay, she's a movie character, but I've included her in this list because it was mentioned in Kirk's first episode "Where No Man Has Gone Before" that he had a fling with a "little blonde lab technician" who is presumed to be Carol Marcus. Unlike the other women in this list, she had Kirk's baby and didn't even get killed before giving birth.

Actually, Kirk's son grew to a fine young man before he was killed by the Klingons, leading to a hatred of the race that lasted until Star Trek VI. We never did learn what happened to Carol Marcus. Since she had Kirk's baby and the kid died, I suspect she died from "red shirt syndrome" at some point afterwards.

That's my list. Who did I miss?

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Kirk also fell in love with an Android woman Rayna in Requiem of Methuselah. It was really ridiculous that he fell in love with her after just one waltz and few words. So much so that he fought for her with Flint! she died of overload of human emotions unfortunately.

October 17 2012 at 9:42 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Fredrick Hahn

You missed Ruth. Shore leave.

September 18 2011 at 8:02 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

@NickMagoo - I have to agree with you on that one. But I doubt that she fits into the top 5.

Miramanee has to be #1. And Yoeman Rand should be #2. I always believed that the Rand/Kirk relationship was there, but taboo because of their ranks. I can't remember the episode but it was prolly the one when the ship is infected by the gas that reduces inhibitions and Kirk and Rand have their closest moment. Kirk states that their love can not happen because he is a Captain of the Federation Flagship. I think it's the same one that Sulu does his swashbuckling act.

I bet 4000 quatloos!

July 16 2008 at 2:53 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Allow me to dispel all of this stuff for I am, indeed, a Coast Guard Yeoman, and I am male.

A Yeoman is an old naval term for an elevated sailor not of noble birth. In modern times, a Yeoman is an administrator, responsible for HR duties, clerical duty, Legal assistance and other "paperwork" duties alongside his or her military requirements (drill, PT etc.).

This Yeoman "rating" should not be confused with rank. My specialty is Legal Yeomanry, but my rank is Petty Officer First Class, or E6.

Yeoman Rand, since she is referred to as a Yeoman and not "Miss" (the title given to Warrant Officers of the Yeoman specialty), or Chief, is probably the same rank as me.

July 15 2008 at 3:58 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Kirk was paired up with a couple of other women during the run of the show. Dr. Janet Wallace from "The Deadly Years" really could have been a young Carol Marcus. In fact, it's surprising the producers of "Wrath of Khan" didn't just make Carol's character Janet, they're so similar. Not the same actress, of course.

He also got hot and heavy with Lenore Karidian, Kodos the Executioner's daughter from "Conscience of the King" before he realized who her father was. She was probably the best looking of any of them.

I would differ that Spock saving Edith Keeler made for a better story than Kirk saving her. That one single moment in time defined Kirk - and Star Trek - more than any other in any of all the Trek series'.

July 15 2008 at 3:04 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Galt: ...except that "Yeoman" is not equal in rank to "Captain". Nice try, though.

I agree with Eric and Alex, particularly this bit: "You could have done some research on naval traditions, rank and shipboard procedures, rather than letting the hormones be your guide."

"She took care of Kirk's manly needs while he was busy saving the universe. Of all the women listed, I think she can take the title of having slept with Captain Kirk the most, since she was there for multiple episodes of Season One. She could have sex with Kirk dispassionately for the good of Starfleet"

...I'm hoping the bit about Rand's position being a sort of Starfleet-mandated "captain's whore" was an attempt at humour. Please to not be confusing your adolescent fantasies with actual, not-quite-as-misogynist late 60s scifi, thanks.

July 15 2008 at 8:40 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Venturing back in time to when men were men and the woman stayed home, it is recorded:


that on the first voyage of the HMS BEAGLE the original captain Pringle Stokes, commited suicide due to lack of companionship during the long voyage. This act prompted the captain of the second voyage, Robert FitzRoy, to search high and low for what he saw to be"the need for a gentleman companion who shared his scientific interests and could dine with him as an equal." This gentleman eventually turned out to be Charles Darwin. They were just sailing around the world, so one cannot fault Captain Kirk for carrying on what would by then be an honored and ancient naval tradition.

July 14 2008 at 6:41 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Rand slept with Kirk? Wow, that's news to me. I never got that vibe and, given Shatner's over-acting, it would've been hard to miss.

July 14 2008 at 5:09 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Hey, even James Bond fell in love, and got married. And we all know how that ended.

July 14 2008 at 5:09 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

How could you forget about Ruth? In "shore leave", he daydreams about her, showing that years later, he still had feelings for her... then of course there's the faceless Antonia from star trek generations that he would have given up his Starfleet career for...

July 14 2008 at 5:02 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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