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October 3, 2015

Secret Diary of a Call Girl: Episode 1-05

by Kristin Sample, posted Jul 14th 2008 11:35PM
Belle and Naomi "Ashok? Every-second-Wednesday-since-I-started-Ashok?" --Belle/Hannah to her agent Stephanie

Belle had to share her first and most loyal client, Ashok, with another woman this week. While she was a bit surprised that her luscious self wasn't enough to satisfy her favorite regular, she ended up having fun during with the ménage à trois. Can this call girl truly learn to share?

My review of Secret Diary of a Call Girl is after the jump.

"I'm hardly a girls girl. But I will go gay for pay," Belle tells us after she agrees to the threesome with Ashok. She gets Naomi, a sultry blonde who intrigues our call girl and makes her laugh right from the start. When Naomi asks what Ashok is like, Belle answers like a girlfriend (not surprising because she "plays" his lover every other week). He's athletic and smart and sweet and he smells nice. Naomi jests, "I was actually wondering whether he prefers anal or vanilla."

Belle ends up having a great time during the session. The London call girl realizes she may have found a kindred spirit in Naomi; and maybe, despite herself, Belle will actually forge a friendship with a woman. This would be a great friendship indeed. Naomi is someone Belle can go shopping with (although these two would go shopping for sex toys and panties). Naomi is someone to whom Belle can relate work stories.

However, it doesn't work. Belle gets a call that Ashok will be seeing only Naomi for his next appointment. A rejected Belle erases Naomi's name from her cell phone. This didn't quite work for me. I was wishing that the Naomi / Belle relationship could have marinated for another week or so. I didn't feel the sense of betrayal the Belle/Hannah felt. Plus, the first time we met Ashok, Belle moonlighted with the quirky marathoner runner on her all-nighter with him. I didn't feel bad for her. It's not like Naomi stole her boyfriend. However, that's what Lucy Prebble and company wanted us to believe -- especially since the two women joked about how they don't have girlfriends because women are always threatened by them, scared that girls like Naomi and Hannah will take their boyfriends. Naomi snickered that it's probably true and the two call girls shared a good laugh.

I did, however, feel bad for Belle in the beginning of the episode. I almost hated Ben for treating her like that at the restaurant. But, then again, if I was a call girl, I wouldn't exactly carry my money around in a roll tied with a rubberband. She does get paid a lot. She could buy a wallet. Money roll screams any of the following: mafia lord, loan shark, drug dealer, or prostitute.

A few more things...

  • Just a note on what the real Belle does and doesn't do during a session--it's not as innocent as the TV Belle. She definitely does "water sports." Sorry if that grosses you out.
  • "Sometimes two heads are better than one," Stephanie quipped to Belle about why Ashok wanted a threesome. I love Stephanie. I wish she was on the show more.
  • A commenter said last week that he/she wished that the show was one hour. I have to agree there. For a half-hour show (actually more like twenty three minutes) punctuated by either a longer sex scene or a few shorter ones, it feels shallow.
  • Is it that much easier to be friends with guys than it is with girls? Even in the book, Belle doesn't have any girlfriends. She talks about "Ben" a lot (a character who she calls N). And her other friends are all ex-boyfriends too: A1, A2, A3, and A4. Her real boyfriend who she dates for the first portion of the memoirs is called The Boy. See. All men.
  • Do you want Belle and Ben to get together? (Cause I secretly do.)
Did you feel like Naomi betrayed Belle?
Not really.51 (47.2%)
She did--kind of.43 (39.8%)
It was a total betrayal.14 (13.0%)

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best line of the show?

"I think I'm getting 'Wanker's Claw'"


July 15 2008 at 10:11 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Yes, guys are a lot easier to get along with than girls. At least for some girls... It's a complicated situation to explain, especially to another chick.

Here's the thing, the movie Mean Girls - totally on point for the majority of females. And they don't ever seem to grow out of it. There's always these crazy head games that always seem to involve boys, even the lame ones. Most females can't handle blunt truth very well. You tell the truth, and you get labeled a bitch and all of the sudden, every female and a percentage of the males in your circle is all death glaring at you.

Guys, on the other hand. So easy. Tell them the truth in a non-judgemental way, everything is kosher. More than likely you're going to end up having a drink or two and discussing the issue later. Then listening to their girl drama and you try to explain the feminine wiles to them and they look all bewildered.

As long as you're not trying to sleep with/marry a guy, but find them interesting, they are the easiest people in the world to talk to. But it has downfalls. Insane downfalls. Because guys are crazy creatures too. You would think, hey, guy friends would set you up with good guys? Noooooooo. Not true. Guy friends will never set their female friends up with a guy, no matter how much they like the guy.

A guy's girl can find solace with other guy's girls. It's just a similar no games/drama/bullshit attitude that allows them to get along. Which is, back to the point of the review, is why Belle and Naomi briefly got along. They got each other. But then, you get the fact that Belle is a girly girl and Naomi isn't. Naomi is honest and blunt. Belle is in denial about her rules. She might not get along with girls because of the jealousy factor, but she's not at Naomi's level. It sounds incredibly shallow, but very true - their hair tells the story.

But in a nut shell - yes, for many females, guys are much easier to get along with. Not all guys, grant you. No one really wants to talk to the drunk frat boy type that never seem to grow out of it.

July 15 2008 at 12:40 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I felt sorry for Belle, but in a way I understood why Ashok moved on. His relationship with her had become just that. They recommended books to each other and cuddled after sex. Clearly, his reason for requesting two girls from the agency (without specifying/going through Belle) and then finally specifying another escort altogether, was clearly because he didn't want another marriage - but full on kinky sex -

July 14 2008 at 11:58 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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