Super Skank Wednesday: The Greatness of Mr. Boston
Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.Today, we'll pay homage the star of I Love Money: Mr. Boston. Who knew this awkward guy from Bean Town would have hotties like Megan Hausermann saying "He's growing on me" and tough guys like White Boy wrapped around his finger.
I thought the other skanks and manks on I Love Money might eat the nerdy kid from I Love New York alive. I mean, come on. The guy's name is ridiculous. When I think of guys from Boston, I think of rough-and-tough guys who will knock someone out at a Red Sox game. I don't think of some lanky blonde dude who gets his ass kicked by some skinny punk named "Chance." I have to agree with Megan "the Boy Toy Troublemaker" Hausermann though. He kind of grows on you. So let's talk about why.
1. He's smart.
2. He always lets us in on his strategies.
3. No one can resist "the Boston charm." (He needs to copyright that phrase.)
He's smart:
Yes, Mr. Boston (despite popular opinion) is indeed pretty clever. Boston has already shown us twice that he's a force to be reckoned with on I Love Money. First, he convinced White Boy let him on the green team. And WhiteBoy (and WhiteBoy's alliance) hate Mr. Boston and don't trust him. Yet Boston was able to woo them to side -- at least temporarily.
Second, there's this past week when Mr. Boston pretended to be sick to convince The Entertainer that he's not a threat. Boston made himself throw up so much that he gave himself a nose bleed. And The Entertainer (who is not really smart at all) bought it hook, line and sinker. Sidenote: I loved when Heat body slammed Mr. Boston on the beach. If he wasn't sick, Boston probably had a broken rib or two after that.
He always lets us in on his strategy.
Whether Mr. B is explaining how he's got WhiteBoy's loyalty because of Jewish solidarity or figuring out that some of the other skanks have hidden his bed, he is always letting the viewers know what's up. I think VH1 should just let him narrate the whole darn show.
No one can resist the Boston Charm:
Much to the chagrin of the other manks in the I Love Money house, Mr. Boston seems to be a hit with the ladies. He already got a sensual massage from Brandi C. and Megan. He got Toastee to agree to share her bed with him. And he hooked up with Pumkin prior to the show.
And just wait till they kiss him. New York was orgasmic every time they locked lips on her show. A scary thought, I know. This is the same woman who liked The Entertainer licking her toes. I'm still suspicious of how good some sugar from Mr. B really is. I guess we'll have to wait and see Mr. Boston gets really lucky this summer. (I wonder if he brought his STD results.)
Maybe the skanks just a appreciate a guy who isn't afraid to access his feminine side. (See that picture to the left.)
So what do you think? Do you love Mr. Boston as much as I do? I will go so far as to say that Mr. Boston should get his own show. There were rumors awhile back that he wanted a solo gig with VH1 but it was just "let's follow around Mr. Boston." That's not interesting enough. It needs to be a dating show. Would you tune in to I Love Boston? Apparently the sad individual who made this video would...
Now I love Mr. Boston. But that was just creepy.
Happy Super Skank Wednesday! (By the way SSW readers, I've noticed that some people are leaving awesome comments but forgetting to activate them. Don't forget to do that. Your infinite wisdom won't show up on the site otherwise. Thanks!)

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