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October 9, 2015

Project Runway: Bright Lights/Big City

by Annie Wu, posted Jul 31st 2008 9:02AM
Project Runway(S05E03) Question: What were the judges smoking in this episode? More specifically, were they smoking one of the hideous creations from this challenge?

This challenge was pretty straightforward, as the designers were dropped off at different locations in a rainy New York City and told to pull inspiration from their surroundings. NYC streets at night are rough and sleek and bright and dark, all at the same time. But looking at this episode's outfits, you'd never know. In fact, you'd probably be too scared to step foot in the Big Apple ever again, for fear of being mauled by psychedelic, leggy, cha-cha-ing monsters.

Apropos of nothing, Sandra Bernhard stopped by to be the guest judge. Umm, okay. If you want to pretend you're a random guest judge too, check out all the outfits and make snarky remarks about them.

Blayne: As much as I cannot stand Blayne, I must give him credit for containing himself enough to only one "Tim-licious" in this episode. That said, he needs to go home. I was horrified when I saw that Blayne's outfit was cleared but Emily's was in the bottom three. His was equally -- if not more -- atrocious and very similar in that "Crayon-filled parrot explosion on boring black dress" sense. Oh, oh, and how hilarious was it for him to poke fun at Jerell's face mask, when he himself is super-vain and tanorexic.

Daniel: This was a pretty basic outfit, but half of it was a little ill-fitting. By the way, I couldn't help but chuckle when he said that he missed last week's eliminated designer, Wesley, because the two are rumored to be dating now.

Emily: [AUF'D] This outfit was pretty bad, but I didn't think it was the worst. I bet she's kicking herself for not listening to Tim Gunn's warnings, though.

Jennifer: [ALMOST AUF'D] Sure, this was a bit matronly, but was it really worthy of the bottom three (and then two)? If she had given her model a lower cut and raised the skirt length, it would have been adorable.

Jerell: This came out of nowhere. A gown? Unexpected and well-done. This was another one that I thought looked better than most of the top three outfits.

Joe: His reappearance at the end of the episode caught me off guard, as I had forgotten he was on the show. He was working so quietly in the background, not making camera-grabbing snarky comments. His outfit was decent, kind of boring.

Keith: Even after Tim told him to make it more fitted, this turned out to be a shapeless mess. I thought for sure this one was going home, but this episode made me question my logic too many times to count.

Kelli: Oh, Kelli! Hi! I forgot she was in this episode too. I thought this outfit was original and edgy. It was a cool take on post-apocalyptic streetwear and I was surprised to see it didn't make the top three.

Kenley: [WINNER] What. In. The. Hale. How in the world did this win? I don't understand. The construction was impeccable, I'll giver her that, but everything else was wrong. How did this look anything like her inspiration? Like New York?

Korto: Fairly well-constructed but boring. A surprising change from Korto's edgy silhouettes from the first two episodes.

Leanne: This was a sharp turnaround form her horrible creation from last week, which almost sent her home. I thought this was a shoo-in for the win, but I guess the judges' vision was impaired after being nearly blinded by the terrible patterns from Kenley and Terri.

Stella: I'm interested in seeing how far Stella can go with her obsessive "I'm rock 'n roll and nothing else" attitude. It looks like she's taking the narrow-minded road to victory, just like the winner of Project Runway Season Never. This outfit was well-made, but not particularly exciting.

Suede: Suede is still speaking in third person. Sure, Suede is a cool name and an excellent band from the 90s Britpop scene, but is he really so infatuated with the sound of it rolling off his tongue that he must use it that often? I like the word "festoon" quite a lot, but I use it sparingly. Anyway, his outfit was really boring and, although I generally adore shirt dresses, the fabric didn't work. It's tough to pull of such a structured outfit, and it just looked a bit sloppy.

Terri: Yet another tragic print. I thought this was going to be one of the lowest-rated outfits and was appalled to see it in the top three. Was I the only one that was reminded of dentist office art work? The only thing "fierce, sexy and in control" was the fact that she was wearing pants. Come on.

Previously, I've only included the bottom three (and Blayne) in this poll, but I was so horrified by some of the top outfits, I had to include them and see if I'm alone in thinking this. Vote away!

Who had the worst garment?
Kenley56 (20.9%)
Terri21 (7.8%)
Keith43 (16.0%)
Jennifer31 (11.6%)
Emily17 (6.3%)
Is Blayne seriously still on the show?!94 (35.1%)
Other.6 (2.2%)

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as much as i disagree with Stella being so narrow minded in her design, i actually liked her outfit this time around.

i think Keith's dress could have been worlds better with a belt, even though i hate belted dresses. the cinching at the waist wouldve helped.

i too didnt agree with Terri's outfit, but the back was fierce.

i think Suede is such a cliche, just like TanBoy. not only does he go by Suede, but he insists on talking in the third person. and he isnt even consistent with it. such a sad little man.

August 01 2008 at 10:10 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

did blayne say 'timlicious' when tim first arrived at their apartment? i erased the show before i went back to check... even if he didn't, he's still so douchalicious. and how in god's name did that nasty 80s retread poofed out spanish explorer pantaloon meets joan collins crapfest win? can ANYONE explain that to me?

August 01 2008 at 2:30 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I am so over Stella. Seriously, it's biker chick wear with nothing new to add. And she's not rock and roll. Well, maybe sort of Rolling Stones. But when was the last time they were innovative beyond their age?

I was shocked Kelli wasn't in the top 3. I thought her, Jerrell, and Leanne were the most interesting designs.

Blayne over Emily? Really? Blayne's dress looked like someone vomitted clusters of bright fabric over a black dress at random. At least Emily's dress had a not insane plan behind it.

And someone please take away Suede's bedazzler. And his ability to say the word Suede. Then he would be okay.

This season is making me sad.

July 31 2008 at 10:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

this is not the best group of designers, that's fer shuah. as for rock and roll design, stella ain't got nothin' on jeffrey from when he won - he WAS rock and roll, for better or worse. plus, he's still the most interesting designer i've seen on the show as for sheer imagination and original sensibility.

July 31 2008 at 10:15 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

is it just me or does anybody also cant difference leanne from jennifer???

July 31 2008 at 3:38 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

The judges are seriously nuts this season. Plus, the designers are not as talented as last season. Granted, they are all a bit younger too. I think they were going for "edgier" this season.

Kenley's dress looks like the Balenciaga Spring 08 collection...thats probably why she won. My mom said it looked like a tumor was growing out of the model's hip.

My picks for top 3: Leanne (adore the skirt), Jerell (look at the train, wow), Kelli (daring, fits challenge)
Also Liked: Korto (looks like a real woman could wear it, but not exciting enough for this challenge)
Meh: Suede, Joe, Keith, Stella
Oh god my eyes (aka fugly patterns): Kenley, Terri
Flameno hooker dresses: Blayne, Emily
Worst: Daniel (this looked like the same as those ugly brown dresses from last week, did he just reuse his leftover fabric?), Jennifer (pregnant dress and terribly constructed, she should have been out for the hemline alone)

July 31 2008 at 3:23 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jenny K.

I think Keith might have gotten a pass due to the last-minute model switch. Not that the other model would have looked any better in that thing.

I agree with everyone else that Leanne should have won over Kenley. I could see Kenley's dress working with a different fabric, but that print was Hawaiian-shirt-gone-wrong awful. I loved Leanne's skirt, and you could clearly see the inspiration from the photo.

When will the designers learn the first basic rule of the show: Tim speaks truth?

July 31 2008 at 1:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I know the producers will swear up and down that the show is not rigged but, you can not tell me that Keith and Blayne aren't being kept around deliberately for drama sake.

Keith's dress was a total mess in every sense of the word and Blayne pretty much did a larger and even uglier (didn't think that possible) version of his diaper dress from the grocery store!

Kelli's dress totally reminded me of Cher's Oscar dress from all those years ago. It was the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw it. Didn't seem that original and edgy to me at all. Bob Mackie should sue.

Leanne should have won.

*And* I'm soooooo glad to see you listen, took our advice, and cleaned up your blogging!! :) Going in the order of the pics of the outfits as shown on the Bravo site is so much better. BRAVO!!

July 31 2008 at 1:28 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Or perhaps Rue McClanahan (sp?) circa Golden Girls.

July 31 2008 at 12:18 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Kenley- Melanie Griffith circa 1983

July 31 2008 at 12:17 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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