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Super Skank Wednesday: The Demise of Rodeo

by Kristin Sample, posted Aug 20th 2008 12:03PM
Rodeo and her bedazzled bandanaWelcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

Today we'll talk about Rodeo who got eliminated from I Love Money this past Sunday. The name. The guns. The bandanas she customized with a Bedazzler. The barbeque sauce.

I'm sad she got kicked off. She certainly could have used that money for some psychiatric evaluations. Let's talk about her demise after the jump. I'm doing another picture book.

8 Seconds to Glory: A Tale of Self-Destruction
(not starring Luke Perry)

After Pumkin went against the ghetto-fabulous Stallionaires alliance in favor of her secret blonde alliance, the house was left in an uproar. If a stupid skank like Pumkin could send home a "playa" like Chance, something must be wrong in the celebreality universe.

The remaining Stallionaires alliance scrambled to make a plan. Rodeo and her third eye already sensed their doom.
Rodeo and Hoopz
Hoopz: Why can't you just go against Megan, Whiteboy? You can't see past her huge...tracts of land. And now me and Rodeo are targets.
Rodeo: Look at that little birdie on the balcony.
White Boy looking at his scab
Whiteboy: Yo, I work at Target. And yo, I got this crazy scab over on my arm. And yo, don't worry about Megan yo. She'll do what I tell her.

Hoopz and Rodeo were skeptical. Hoopz knew what she had to do -- throw the competition. Rodeo just aimlessly wandered about and talked about people behind their backs.

The yellow team lost the competition. The Entertainer screamed like a lunatic at Hoopz asking her to hit him. I wish she did. But our story isn't about The Entertainer, so I won't get sidetracked.

In the car ride home, Whiteboy worked his Miami heat on Megan from the mid-west. He knew he would have to start on her early to save his true love, Hoopz.

WhiteBoy and Megan
WhiteBoy: I want to stick my tongue down your throat at this point, yo. (That's actually what he said. I added the "yo" for effect.)
Megan: Oh WhiteBoy, I can't resist your wanksta sweet nothings.

Before the yellow team reconvened in the vault, Rodeo went around trying to secure votes from just about everyone. How can you tell everyone (EVERYONE!) that you are on their side? Rodeo even backed a cake for 12 Pack's birthday. Don't get any bright ideas about Rodeo's culinary skills. They are more like "skillz" as she just spread a few tubes of cookie dough onto a sheet pan and hoped for the best.

Alas none of her promises or baked goods worked and it was Rodeo, Toastee and Hoopz in the lockbox and in danger of leaving I Love Money.

You wouldn't like Rodeo when she's angry. Rodeo as hulk
Rodeo: I will NEVER make you a cookie cake on your birthday again. Mark my words.

Now it's all up to Megan. In the most pathetic show of sycophantic behavior I have ever witnessed on celebreality, Rodeo tried to get on Megan's good side. She walked on water (well, walked in shallow water) and tried to mount a wild Mexican horse. Like most of the men in Rodeo's life, the horse ran away as soon as he saw her marching over. Understandable, I suppose. The horse was clearly not into the whole Hildalgo / Sea Biscuit thing.

Rodeo also played waitress, awkardly hugged Megan, cried to Megan's dog Lily, then apologized profusely and cried some more.
Rodeo asking Megan for extra time.
Rodeo: I don't want to sound desperate or anything, but could I have the private time with you doing the power outing?

Rodeo and Megan
Rodeo: Madam, some Red Bull and vodka?
Megan: Yes, garçon.

Rodeo hugs Megan
Megan: Okay, I never said that you could touch me.
Rodeo: I thought that you were choking. Oh, sorry. You're okay then. What about this sunburn?
Megan: Again with the touching. Not liking the touching.

Lily in confessional
Lily: If you're watching this, please call the ASPCA.

When Megan returned home, WhiteBoy and the blonde alliance went to work. Brandi yelled at Megan and wanted her to eliminate Hoopz. WhiteBoy once again used his poser charm to convince Megan that Hoopz needs to stay. Megan was confused, a feeling she had all too frequently in her lifetime.
Megan in confessional
Megan: So, I'm confused. My alliance makes sense but WhiteBoy is so freaking hot.

The eliminations

So, after a long deliberation Megan had made her choice. Toastee got the first check -- but not before Megan insulted her at length. The string of insults went something like this. I hate you. You're a horse face. Your mother is a smelly hooker. Your father has uncontrollable flatulence. You're nothing. Why should I care about you when I am a beacon of blonde hotness and you are nothing but a barnacle on my big fake boobs?

In the end, Megan sent home our girl Rodeo. She insulted her too. But that speech wasn't as good as the one she crafted for Toastee in my opinion.

Bu-Bye Rodeo! Go back to peddlin' BBQ sauce!

Happy Super Skank Wednesday!

P.S. This the first time I'm doing a post script so pay attention. I have something important to say. It's about Megan's rogue nipple. Did you guys see how one nipple was higher than the other in all her confessional? I know I'm obsessive but women who don't put their boobs in their bras or tops right bother me. I call them "Picassos" when their boobs look like that.

Okay, now I'm done.

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rick cokely

Yikes, I realy felt sad for Rodeo. I liked her, even though she was a little loony... Do you plan on putting the Cho Show on for this? I mean I know it isn't all that skanky (unless you count the glam squad as (m)skanks) but damn was it funny!

August 21 2008 at 9:04 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to rick cokely's comment
Kristin Sample

I don't know if I'm going to watch the Cho Show. I'm finding I don't have the time I once had to dedicate to skanky tv. I cover Big Brother too (network skanks and manks).

Plus, I think the Cho Show will be more along the lines of Kathy Griffin's Life on the D List. Let me know what you think.

August 21 2008 at 11:05 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bx Burlesque

I luv luv LUV Whiteboy screen caps.

There is so much batcrap crazy on this show. I like that in my celebreality.

August 21 2008 at 12:05 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Bx Burlesque's comment
Kristin Sample

I was super proud of my WB screencaps. Thanks!

August 21 2008 at 11:04 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I have a chicken/egg question about ILM. Did the show make these people certifiable, or did the nutjobs make this show insane. Either way I'm sure they can write the DSM-V simply from watching this show whenever they decide to update the DSM-IV. While Frank's mental illnesses, as Kristen stated above, we won't get sidetracked.

At first Rodeo would appear to be bi-polar. After all she can go calm to extremely angry to extremely sad in 3 seconds flat. Then Rodeo ups the ante and starts discussing the "Rodeo Fans" and potentially letting them down. Then it becomes clear that Rodeo possesses a narcissism unrivaled by even the biggest stars because they've at least done something worthwhile to encourage their narcissism. My diagnosis as a grad of DeVry Med School is that Rodeo is ultimately a schizophrenic.

It all makes sense now. The paranoia, the delusions of grandeur, the volatile mood swings, there must be like 12 different Rodeos. There's the Rodeo who tosses skinny gurls down stairs, the Rodeo who slams down cakes that she made for repressed homosexuals, the Rodeo who is motherly, the Rodeo who thinks she has fans, etc.

(This should go without saying, but this is of course all in jest.)

August 20 2008 at 4:49 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Adam's comment
Kristin Sample

Nice diagnosis!

The Rodeo who thinks she has fans is my fave Rodeo.

August 21 2008 at 11:03 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Kristin I can't believe you didn't bring up that Rodeo only has $100 to her name! I wanted to see what you thought about that. Also hows your points in the fantasy league? 2 weeks ago I got a -9! eeek!

August 20 2008 at 2:41 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Melissa's comment
Kristin Sample

Totally forgot about that! I know! That's hysterical.

I only got like 25 points this week. And Rodeo's on my team. I think I need to pick another player now.

August 21 2008 at 11:02 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

How could Real and Whiteboy let Megan be team captain? That was idiotic ,but what is to be expected by an idiot?

Rodeo was just not smart at all in her game play , pick a side and stick to it. I see the Entertainer going home down the line , he really is a weak player.

This Sunday's episode looks to be filled with more boneheaded moves, so I will enjoy them as well.

August 20 2008 at 2:02 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Chris's comment
Kristin Sample

I think Real and WhiteBoy letting Meghan be captain was mighty foolish. I was surprised that they didn't brow beat her into letting one of them be captain. Has Real even been captain yet?

August 21 2008 at 11:01 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Kristen, even if I'm the only one reading Super Skank Wed, may I say THANK YOU.

Rodeo is crazy - she TOTALLY should have seen that coming; throw a challenge, chances are you'll be on the block, and between you and Hoopz, Hoopz is tighter in the alliance. Stupid head. I feel so bad for her for being so short-sighted. And I'm sorry but if you're broke, GET A JOB, and not just be on stupid reality shows.

Thank you for letting me sound off.

i've ALWAYS been on team Heather/ 12 Pack/ entertainer. Megan grew on me, but only slightly. She's still conniving, scary, incredibly manipulative, scary, and did I mention scary?
But she's got a hot bod, so...

August 20 2008 at 1:12 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to cdawg's comment
Kristin Sample

Thanks! I appreciate the SSW love!

August 21 2008 at 11:00 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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