Look, I'm just going to go ahead and take credit for this one. Obviously Britney listened to me when I praised her for her awkwardly funny VMA promos with this year's host, Russell Brand, and agreed that that was enough for this year. Her manager, Larry Rudolph, has confirmed that despite reports, Brit will not be picking up the sparkly underwear from the cleaners in order to perform at this year's VMAs.

Fans of unruly extensions and gum-smacking need not fear, however: there is still a good chance that Ms. Spears will make an appearance at the fête. Britney is nominated for Video of the Year for her single, "Piece of Me." Even though Britney Spears has been nearly synonymous with MTV and the VMAs for most of her career, she's never actually won one of the coveted moon men, so I'm not sure how good her chances are of actually making an acceptance speech. Regardless, I wouldn't be surprised if producers still find something for her to do during the show; if there's one thing for which Britney can always be relied on, it's creating buzz. Well, that and single-handedly keeping Cheetos in business.

The MTV Video Music Awards air on September 7.