(S11E01; S11E02) The CW is trying to kill me. First they give me a two-hour 90210 premiere, now it's two hours of Tyra flipping her weave on ANTM's season premiere. Is this A Clockwork Orange? Are they going to tape my eyelids open??? All I know is that the hot tranny mess in this season's cast had better be worth it.

The best part of any America's Next Top Model premiere is to see whatever wacky way Tyra chooses to introduce herself to the semi-finalists. This year, she sent the girls to be scanned at the "Top Model Institute of Technology," with Alpha J. and Beta Jay. Eventually, Robot Tyra enters the room to a chorus of ear-shattering squeals. All I can say is that Robot Tyra is no Psycho Homecoming Queen Tyra.

The model interviews are your typical mix of "I know I'm going to be America's Next Top Model," and "I couldn't name a designer if I tried." There were, however, a few standouts.

Of course we have to talk about ANTM's transgendered contestant, Isis. She appeared last season in the homeless shoot and it sounds like Tyra basically recruited her to be on this cycle. What I find fascinating about her is that she's a pre-op transexual. When I heard that there was a transgendered contestant, I automatically assumed that she would be post-op. I'm really interested in seeing how this plays out among the girls in the house.

Then there's 18-year-old Elina, who seems as though she is on the show purely to annoy me. I just figured out who she looks like though! She's a dead ringer for Silver on the new 90210! Anyway, she's a vegan and describes herself as a "very sexual person." First of all, you're 18. Shut up. Second of all, "I'm a very sexual person" is just code for "I'm insecure and need attention. Love me please!!!" and I simply do not have the time.

Another contestant of note is Analeigh, a 19-year-old former figure skater who tells a completely insane story about how she thought she was being scouted by a modeling agency, but was actually being sold to an Arab prince.

Tyra: So were you sold?
Analeigh: Yeah. So what happened is...

She was very matter-of-fact about the whole thing. Her response to Tyra's "Well, I'm glad you're safe," was to giggle hysterically. If you haven't seen the episode, I highly recommend catching a repeat just for this.

There's a half-assed photo shoot from which the final 14 are chosen. There are no plus-sized models in the final 14, mainly because Tyra gave it to Whitney last time and is sick of them.

So that's the first episode, but we've got another one coming right up!

In "Top Model Inauguration," the fourteen finalists move into their house. Production has moved back to L.A. from New York this season, so they're out of the penthouse and back into the McMansion.

Of course all eyes and questions immediately turn to Isis. Sheena marvels about the fact that she wears a bikini and asks, "where do you put it?" For the record, the answer is, "the miracle of tape." What's really cool is that Isis isn't trying to hide who she is, a fact that doesn't escape McKey, who is impressed by the fact that Isis is just going to jump in the pool and be who she is. Of course, a lot of the members of the house are a lot more small-minded. Clark and Hannah in particular have a big problem with her being there.

For their first challenge, the girls meet Ed Alonzo at the Magic Castle in L.A. (by the way, did they shoot an episode of Arrested Development here? It looks familiar to me). Anyway, it's not a traditional challenge today. Instead, each model gets individual face time with Paulina, Nigel, and the Jays. This scares Paulina.

The photo shoot revolves around the presidential election, because Tyra is political! I love it when they try to tackle social issues on this show...everyone looks so much more confused than usual.

The photos themselves revolve around different issues voters need to think about at the polls, like education, the economy, and...cloning. Because you know Tyra has given up on having children at this point, and is planning on scientifically engineering her own army of fierce little clones who always, always smile with their eyes.

As for the pictures themselves, the girls are pretty much all over the place. ShaRaun looks like she's in a rap video, while Nikeysha looks as though she doesn't have legs. In general though, the judges seem to be in a much more forgiving mood than usual.

The person who receives the first photo gets an extra little prize this cycle: their photo is displayed as digital art in their house for the next week. Here is the order in which the photos were received:

Marjorie
Isis
McKey
Joslyn
Elina
Samantha
Britney
Sheena
Analeigh
Clark
Lauren Brie
Hannah
Nikeysha

It sure is nice when the most annoying person on the show is the first to be eliminated. It's rare that karmic justice comes to the world of reality shows, so it's extra sweet when ShaRuan, aka Ms. "I am America's Next Top Model" gets the boot.

Although I thought Isis would take the win on this one, since she blew the judges away so much, I'm pretty happy with the way this turned out.

Who do you think should have been eliminated? Here are all of the models' pictures, so you can put a name with a face.