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October 9, 2015

Undercover hotties: ten guys on TV I secretly love

by Kona Gallagher, posted Nov 13th 2008 11:29AM
Vincent D'OnofrioI was reading AOL TV's "TV's 50 Hottest Hunks - Ever," and I was struck by two thoughts: "Ugh, can people really use the term, 'hunk' without shuddering?" and, "David Boreanaz? Seriously?"

I get it. Television is populated with pretty people and there are just some guys who are objectively hot (hellooooo, Jon Hamm). Generally speaking though, I'm not drawn to the Luke Perrys and Mario Lopezes of the world. I like quirky guys, and so while most of the dudes on this list aren't going to make it into the People magazine "Sexiest Man Alive" issue, they keep me tuning in every week (heh, that sounded totally dirty).

Follow me after the jump for the undercover hotties: ten guys on TV I secretly love.

gordon ramsay1. Gordon Ramsay: Host of Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares

Sure, he's abrasive and his face kind of looks like that of a shar pei, but who doesn't love a guy who'll cook for you? Besides, there's something really hot about watching someone do what they were born to do. Ramsay can also be counted on to tell it like it is, so you'll always know where you stand with him.

greg grunberg2. Greg Grunberg: Matt Parkman on Heroes

I fell for Grunberg back in his Alias days when he played Agent Weiss, conventionally-hot Michael Vartan's best friend. His addition to the Heroes cast is a big reason I started watching that show (and part of the reason I can't give it up even though it is torturous right now). He's the guy that falls for the wrong girl and gets cheated on, as he did in the first season of Heroes, but doesn't let it ruin his opinion of women. Plus, you know he'd totally surprise you with Chinese takeout and a movie when you've had a bad day.

jim parsons3. Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory

Okay, stay with me on this one. When I watch The Big Bang Theory, I don't sit there swooning over Sheldon Cooper. The guy's a total weirdo, and I would probably constantly sit in his seat and touch his food just to screw with him. However, when he's not all geeked out, Jim Parsons is kind of adorable. Although I'm sure he's not actually as much of an über-geek as Sheldon is, he could probably still totally fix your computer.

michael chiklis4. Michael Chiklis: Vic Mackey on The Shield

To say that Detective Vic Mackey is a bad boy with a heart of gold would be stretching it, to say the least. Sure, he loves his family, but he cheats on his wife and is generally too busy murdering coworkers and such to attend his son's baseball games. However, I just can't help myself. There's something about that shiny bald head and gravelly voice that just gets me. Plus, Chiklis was funny and charming during a recent guest-hosting stint on Live: With Regis and Kelly, where he did an endearingly horrible Rosie Perez impression.

segel5. Jason Segel: Marshall Eriksen on How I Met Your Mother

Sure, Barney may get all the women and Ted may be the star of the show, but if I had to choose, Marshall would win every time. I loved Jason Segel as Nick on Freaks and Geeks and flat out could not understand why Lindsay pined after James Franco's weasly Daniel instead. Even recently, when Jason Segal played the romantic lead in his film, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, all of the reviews I read found it so hard to believe that Segal was playing the lead role in a romantic comedy. Well, whatever. Patrick Dempsey or whomever may have nicer hair, but Segel is cute, funny and sweet. He's the high school boyfriend we all look back on fondly.

Hall6. Michael C. Hall: Dexter Morgan on Dexter

I was talking to a friend about this choice, and we both agreed that Michael C. Hall is totally hot on Dexter, but not so much on Six Feet Under. Maybe it's just that serial killer is an inherently sexier profession than funeral director, or perhaps it's the fact that Dexter has confidence to spare, while David Fisher was passive-aggressive and unsure of himself. Personally, I think it's the killer tan. Whatever the reason, it definitely feels awkward to be so attracted to a dude who spends a lot of his screen time slicing people up.

slattery7. John Slattery: Roger Sterling on Mad Men

We've already covered the nonstop hotness of Don Draper, aka Jon Hamm, but he's not the only hottie at Sterling Cooper. Personally, I'm a fan of the rakish silver fox, Roger Sterling. John Slattery has been around TV for years, generally playing dudes who are kind of creepy/jerks. I first saw him as the politician who wanted Carrie to pee on him in Sex and the City. I hated that he almost stole Carol's heart on Ed and was grossed out by his political machinations on Desperate Housewives. Even on Mad Men, he's not very likeable: leaving your longtime wife for a twenty-year-old secretary doesn't really make you more attractive. Despite this, there's one thing to which anyone who regularly watches Anderson Cooper on CNN can attest: premature grey is often very sexy.

connoly8. Kevin Connolly: Eric Murphy on Entourage

While Vince may be the one who gets all the girls, I've always been more of a fan of little E. Connolly and his under-the-radar hotness; you may not notice it when he's in a group, but it's there. Of course, there are some drawbacks: Eric Murphy would drop you in a hot second if Vince needed something, and Kevin Connolly dated a Hilton. I get past this by remembering that the former is a fictional character and the latter was probably just swept up in newfound fame. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because he totally seems like the kind of guy who would notice you just got your hair cut.

Craig Ferguson9. Craig Ferguson: Host of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

This could really be expanded to late night hosts, in general. Conan O'Brien, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel; there's something about late night hosts that is just unconventionally attractive. Ferguson, however, is the only one with a rad Scottish accent. That, paired with the comedic freedom he has by hosting the late show that no one really watches, means that Ferguson really cranks up the charm so that celebrities will still want to come on his show. I have a feeling that when he's up against Jimmy Fallon instead of Conan O'Brien, his hotness is going to be much less undercover.

Vincent D'Onofrio10. Vincent D'Onofrio: Bobby Goren on Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Ever since I started writing about television, there are a couple of things that I find myself repeating: One, that Veronica Mars is one of the best TV shows ever made, and two, that Vincent D'Onofrio is hot. I get little disagreement on the former, but on the latter, the responses are varied. While there are a lot of people who take a look at D'Onofrio and see a guy who looks as though he just rolled out of a gutter and hasn't slept in years, I've learned that there are a great number of people out there like me, who are completely captivated by his charisma and intensity. I developed a crush on him before I ever saw Full Metal Jacket, and while watching D'Onofrio as Private Pyle was awkward, it didn't dissuade me even a little bit.

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I Love the episodes with Vincent D'Onofrio and/or Jeff Goldbloom--Jeff is the only one that they have added that equals Vincent D'Onofrio's appeal. I will watch the episodes with either of these actors. Others are Ho-Hum... I've got other things to do; other shows to watch. Having them together? I wonder...

August 23 2010 at 10:19 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I've been a die hard D'Onofrio fan for as long as i can remember and his current 'look' is what he does to play Robert Goren on Criminal Intent, he's a master of disappearing into a character and making it real to the viewer. So if looking for the 'real' Vincent, try finding interviews on YouTube. You'll find he can be very funny and he's sometimes shy -he often will find it difficult to look at the camera if the interviewer is behind the camera-man- The interview he did for "The Cell", was like that, he kept looking at the floor and speaking rather softly. Made him seem even sweeter as person to me at least!

August 05 2010 at 9:33 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I have to add my two cents to this two years later because admiring the gift to women that is Vincent D'Onofrio never gets old. Those eyes, those eyelashes, that stubble, that voice ... perfection. You obviously have discriminating taste.

January 27 2010 at 7:32 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I agree, also smile quietly with goosebumbs, when you mention Vincent D'Onofrio as one of the hottest men. It is the way that he connects to you-whether it be in an intense thriller like The Cell, or passionately like swimming in the pools of his eyes. I continue to watch and hold out for little snippets of his work, to enjoy... law and order or otherwise.

February 02 2009 at 5:24 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I am so glad to see Vincent D'onofrio on this list. He is rather scuffy these days, but he's the one guy I'll let that slide for. His hotness has come in so many flavors over the years, Bobby Goren is probably my favorite of them. (His portrayal of Robert E. Howard and Cholo from Naked Tango coming in close 2nd and 3rd...) Smart is sexy, and it doesn't help that the man is a brick house and still completely elegant!

January 19 2009 at 1:06 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Totally agree with Adam Baldwin being added to the list. Chuck is one of my new faves, just so I can see John Casey hit the roof each week!

December 02 2008 at 4:59 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Alan Dale.

November 16 2008 at 5:18 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I can't believe no one has mentioned Mark Harmon! And we can't forget David Conrad and Johnny Lee Miller and Simon Baker.

November 16 2008 at 11:05 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I LOVE Vincent D'Onofrio. CI is the only L&O series spin-off that I watch, and it is totally because he is whip-smart, neurotic and now that you mention it, easy on the eyes.
(Michael C. Hall as Dexter too!)
But can I nominate David Cubitt (Lee Scanlon) as the hot, hot sidearm of Alison Dubois? While I am at it, the other handsome appetizer Jake Weber (Joe Dubois) is hunky - he is a dream!

November 15 2008 at 7:19 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I've got news for you. Craig Ferguson IS conventionally handsome. Add the hair, the height and the humor and you've got every woman's dream. Swoon.

November 15 2008 at 2:41 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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