(S05E10) You know what? I'm just going to ignore that crazy "Michael kinda-sorta-kidnapping Meredith" subplot tonight. I'm going to view the failed intervention and the ridiculous chase in the parking lot the same way my wife views my back hair: disgusting and useless, but not a deal-breaker. My wife's willing blindness has saved our marriage; I hope by following her lead, I'll save this review. You people don't want to hear me rant (again) about how silly/unbelievable/prosecutable Michael is anyway.

If you excise those ten minutes, you're left with a fairly good episode that ends with, perhaps, the strongest closing stinger in the show's recent memory (and that's saying something, considering that The Office is probably the best show on TV when it comes to abrupt, last-second mood changes).

The sins of the past caught up with Angela tonight. Like every dictator, the second her people were freed, they went right to work seeking revenge. Phyllis might not have played soccer with Angela's head, Mussolini-style, but she did force her to prepare hummus and wear a hair-net, which, to Angela, was probably just as bad.

I'm often surprised at how dark The Office will allow its characters to get. I mean, sure, Phyllis's petty torture of Angela was minor, but the pleasure she took in it (that twisted little smile!) is not the kind of thing we're used to seeing on television. The Office's worldview is often as bleak as anything you'll find in Jonathan Swift; it seems to say that every office relationship is just the Stanford Prison Experiment in miniature.

Compare The Office to the most popular show on Thursdays, CSI. At first blush, you would assume the latter is the darker show, but in actuality, it's much more traditional. CSI says that there are a few evil people in the world and that the good guys are there to protect us, the decent folk, from them; The Office says that, when you get right down to it, we're all pretty evil and that even the meekest, sweetest woman is capable of the greatest cruelty. And then they go further and play that cruelty for laughs!

God help me, but I love it. The culmination of tonight's understated catfight between Phyllis and Angela has Phyllis (finally) announcing to the entire office that Dwight and Angela have been "harvesting beets on Shrute Farms" if you catch my meaning. It's completely inappropriate, completely evil, and completely believable that Phyllis would do this; this is the sadly predictable endgame of any person who abuses their Party Planning Committee power.

Andy, of course, is not there (preparing, as he was, his Sitar Christmas Serenade for Angela). We then get a full minute of Andy, completely in the dark, singing his Christmas carol to Angela while the entire office contemplates her cheating.

It was heartbreaking and funny at the same time. It's why, even when a good ten minutes of the show is built around nonsense, I'll still put this show up against just about anything else on TV.

Other Stuff:

-- Dwight's toy scheme was hilarious, but a little scary. I'm a relatively new parent (16 month old son); do people actually, really spend that kind of ridiculous money on toys? I thought that kind of thing stopped with Tickle Me Elmo. It makes me think that Bill Murray's parents in Scrooged had it right: all a kid needs for Christmas is a good cut of meat.

-- This is equal parts Scotch, Absinthe, Rum, Gin, Vermouth, Triple Sec, and two packs of Splenda. I call it a "One-of-Everything"

-- Okay, so maybe the Meredith subplot wasn't all bad. Her hair catching on fire was pretty damn funny.

-- How do you think this Andy/Dwight/Angela thing is going to resolve now that it's out in the open? The easy way out would be for Andy to have a meltdown, his anger management training snapping like the chains holding Kong, and being forced to leave the office. The writers have been pretty good at keeping the relationships twisty, so I don't think it'll go in that direction. Theories?

-- I loved that Angela spit out the cookie that's eaten during Ramadan. I didn't know you could catch "Muslim".

-- Wanna bet that wasn't tobacco in Creed's hookah?

As always, I view your comments as a kind of intervention, and welcome your telling me how my reviews have ruined your life.