All Rich wants for Festivus

by Richard Keller, posted Dec 18th 2008 7:32PM

Will any of my Festivus wishes come true? Only time will tell.I was looking at my last two Festivus wish lists in an attempt to determine if any of my requests came true. Turns out, many of them did come to fruition -- something that I'm damn proud of. Sadly, a new sitcom for Dustin "Screech" Diamond did not materialize. Oh well, maybe that will occur sometime next season when, after coming out of a trance, the NBC executives realize they made a terrible mistake putting Jay Leno on at 10:00 pm and need something to fill the empty space.

Now, without further ado, let me put down the aluminum rod for a bit and talk about my Festivus wish list for the upcoming year.

  • Jeff Zucker and Ben Silverman to be unceremoniously removed from their positions at NBC: Really, they both suck. Ben Silverman can't program his DVR let alone a network while Zucker is, well, a sore loser. Not only can't he let Jay Leno leave after he pretty much fired him four years ago, but he just gives up the 10:00 pm primetime slot without even trying. These two just have no class.
  • Eli Stone to be saved and moved to another outlet: A grand wish, sure, but I can at least give it a shot. There's so much more story to tell about Eli, his friends, and family that we need a least a season or two more to square everything away. Speaking about Eli Stone...
  • Some closure to Eli Stone, Stargate Atlantis and ER: Yeah, yeah...I know I was the one who asked why series finales have to be so final. So, why the hell do I want some sort of closure for these three shows? A bit of selfishness on my part, to be honest. These are three of my favorite programs and, while I still think the episodes should stand as platforms to future stories we will never see, there should also be closure for some storylines.
  • Alan Rosenberg to give up his call for a SAG strike: Look, the New York chapter of SAG doesn't want to strike, a whole slew of your Hollywood members don't want to strike, AFTRA has already made agreements with the studios, and there is a friggin' recession taking place right now. Why the heck do you want to strike then, Alan? Your back is against the wall and I would highly recommend reconsidering the strike call.
  • Jay Leno to either succeed for fail, but not languish: On one hand I'm angry about NBC giving up the 10:00 pm slot to Jay Leno five nights a week. On the other hand, I am curious to see if this will work or totally fail. One thing I don't want to happen is, despite total lackluster ratings, the show continue to limp along. Despite what you think of Jay's version of The Tonight Show I think he deserves better than that after his decades of service.
  • Dollhouse to actually survive more than one half of a season: If Fringe can do it so can Dollhouse. It's going to take all of you Joss Whedon fans, plus all of your friends and family, to make that happen. If you don't, the series will probably go the way of Firefly.
  • The American Idol judges to crash land on a deserted island, never to be seen again: Frankly, I think the world would be better off without them.

And, finally...

  • Everyone to be safe and happy in the new year: It's tough out there. So, from me to you, I wish nothing but happiness, security, and a better television year.

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"Sadly, a new sitcom for Dustin "Screech" Diamond did not materialize."

What you didn't see Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling on CMT?

That was kinda like a sitcom...

December 18 2008 at 11:28 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I would like to see Zucker and Silverman cerimoniously fired. They could make it a prime-time special. They could just tell them they are going to be roasted. And then have Donald Trump come out and tell them that they've run NBC into the ground and "You're fired!" That just might be their highest rated show this year.

December 18 2008 at 9:42 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Please banish the American Idol judges (and Seacrest). It can be my Festivus and birthday gift.

December 18 2008 at 9:30 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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