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Seven odd duck TV crushes - VIDEO

by Jackie Schnoop, posted Dec 31st 2008 2:00PM
I'm the odd duck, this is a normal duckYes, I am the odd duck. Well, wait. Perhaps it's not all just me. I mean, I'm talking some really odd duck television crushes I have. Some are odd because other folks might not understand such a crush. Others are odd when considered in correlation with me, in particular. And some are odd just because I'm odd and so are they.

Of course, the duck in the image isn't so odd. I looked for an odd duck and kept thinking I didn't want my own image plastered here on the main page. So, we'll suffice with your basic common duck from New Jersey. He could be mob-related, so he could be a tad odd. Read on!

David Letterman1. David Letterman. Oh, yes. I know I'm not the first woman with a crush on Dave. After all, he did have that woman stalking him and taking over his home and car. I'm not so crazy as to go there with my crush. I figure I'm going out on a limb enough just writing about it.

But there's something about David Letterman which attracts me, and it isn't really his older Alfred E. Neuman (MAD's "What me worry?" icon) looks. It isn't the Adidas sneakers he wore in the 80s, nor his white socks with nice suits he dons now. It isn't really his looks at all. He makes goofy faces a lot. Nah, that's not too attractive.

He's been a part of my life for about half of my life, although he doesn't know me at all. I've watched him evolve from outright zaniness and having a reputation for being surly to guests to today's more mellow Dave. But all along, his humor, intelligence, quick wit, and delightful sense of the wacky have shined through. With Dave, I think it's his mind I have a crush on, but the whole package makes it even better. Thank heavens he doesn't look or act like Jay Leno.

Nick Simmons, son of Gene Simmons2. Nick Simmons. What the heck am I doing with a TV crush on this kid? Isn't it illegal? Isn't he jailbait or something? Nick is the 6'7" son of Gene Simmons (KISS fame). I think he's 19 years old, perhaps 20 by now. I discovered him on the A&E show Family Jewels, a quasi-reality show akin to The Osbournes, albeit with much more stable kids.

I just can't figure out why I'm so taken with him. He's very young, quite scrawny even. Plus, I feel like it's some sort of cougar crush I have on him. Oy! But I like to think that in my crush, I'm around the same age he is. So I'd never want the crush to come to fruition. I'd have to go through all kinds of teen angst again if it did, not to mention rebuilding my 401K.

It must be his "cool kid" factor which attracts me. Nick is the kind of kid who's cool in school, wears funky fashions, and has a quick-working mind, too. I always wanted to be one of the cool kids in school, and instead just got good grades. It would be more age-appropriate for me to have a crush on his father, but that's just not going to happen. I like Nick!

Wendell Pierce as Bunk Moreland on The Wire3. Detective Bunk Moreland. Yep, this is a crush on the TV character, not the actor who plays the role. I don't know anything about actor Wendell Pierce on any sort of personal level. But I adore my Bunk from The Wire.

I mean, here's a guy who can do an entire scene using just profanity, and it's done both intelligently and entertainingly, too. He's usually a snappy dresser. He's also a character who might cheat on his wife, but he does it in a hilarious drunken fashion.

For example, remember when he left the bar with a woman and she called McNulty to get him out of the house? He was wearing a pink bathrobe and had tried to burn his clothes to destroy the evidence of another woman on him, all the while smoking his cigar. Only Bunk could pull that off, yet still have my respect in the morning.

Perhaps my crush should be on the McNulty character because he's the "star" of the show. But without a Bunk to bounce off of, McNulty would be a lesser man indeed. I love me my Bunk and cherish every scene he's in.

Phil Keoghan hosts The Amazing Race4. Phil Keoghan. Phil's the delightful Kiwi host of The Amazing Race. Unlike Survivor's Jeff Probst, Phil doesn't have those carved dimples. But he has man-boobs and can arch a single eyebrow like no one else. Plus, enough of that New Zealand accent sneaks its way into his speech that it makes him foreignly alluring to me, too.

Plus, Phil seems to have a lot going on in life. He's a man who believes in achieving goals and taking in adventures along the way. Phil wrote a book entitled NOW: No Opportunity Wasted. He's an optimist and I'm more of a jaded cynic, but I find him refreshing nonetheless. When I see him on talk shows, he's quick-witted and animated. I like that in a man.

He's definitely a bit more age-appropriate than my crush on Nick Simmons and more reality-based than my crush on Bunk Moreland. He's a cutie, too.

Jim Parsons is Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory5. Sheldon/Jim Parsons. Okay, this is a bizarre crush. It's both on the actor and the character. The actor, Jim Parsons, is very similar to the character he plays (Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory) if you snatch away all the scientific talk. I've seen him on talk shows. He's Sheldon although perhaps not quite as Sheldon as Sheldon is, if you get my drift.

Now, this is another crush which has me baffled. He's not a manly-man at all. He's definitely a bit quirky and anti-social (Sheldon). But there's something wildly endearing about a man who has isolated himself so much from the co-ed dating scene. Perhaps I could lead him astray?

Oh no. I didn't just say that, did I?

He is tall and decent-looking, even though he might not have those macho looks about him. His fashion sense is a bit, um ... different. But he just wouldn't look right in black Metallica t-shirts anyway. As Jim Parsons, he comes across as a nice guy. We need more nice guys in the world.

Russell Brand, quirky and funny, too6. Russell Brand. This one is my oddest TV crushes and one I'd most likely abhor if I knew him. But as long as it's an unrequited crush, it's okay with me. There is so much not right about this guy -- fired for dressing like Osama Bin Laden, fired for bringing his drug dealer to the MTV studios, and just so politically incorrect that it seeps from his very pores.

But he can be so funny! He originally came to fame on British television and was in the Big Brother show circles there along with several other shows. Then he made the move to MTV and got the boot there. Now he's dabbling in movie roles and doing stand-up comedy.

However, it's his talk show appearances which have me slightly agog over him. Here's a bit he did on my (real) crush show, The Late Show with David Letterman:

"Bang, pregnant! Bang, pregnant!" Any man who can make me laugh like he does deserves my TV crush ranking.

Masi Oka is my Hiro on Heroes7. Hiro Nakamura. Yes, another character crush, as I really don't "know" Masi Oka, the actor who plays the role of Hiro on Heroes. So just what is it about the Hiro character which has my heart fluttering? Nope, it's not the time travel bit, although that could be wildly amusing on a date.

I think it's his naiveness and exuberance with life itself. Yeah, that's it. Hiro is like a young boy in love with the world he sees before him. In a way, he's a bit like my Sheldon crush -- a geeky kind of guy. But geeks are better than mobsters and lowlifes, right? I have my own geek-esque qualities, too.

There's also the comic book connection between the Sheldon and Hiro characters. Uh-oh. Guess what? I have my own comic book leanings, although I'm not quite as into superheroes as either of the characters.

Hmmm ... in looking at my odd duck crushes -- listed in no particular order other than David Letterman being my number one longest enduring crush -- I have come to the conclusion that I am indeed an odd duck. But what's the fun in being normal all the time? Since none of these crushes will ever meet reality, it's entertaining to ponder them.

Do you have a TV crush on ...
David Letterman18 (9.0%)
Nick Simmons30 (15.1%)
Bunk Moreland/Wendell Pierce9 (4.5%)
Jim Parsons/Sheldon57 (28.6%)
Hiro/Masi Oka29 (14.6%)
Russell Brand12 (6.0%)
Phil Keoghan19 (9.5%)
Other -- tell me!25 (12.6%)

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Russell Brand is a dodgepot.


January 01 2009 at 12:25 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
The Televixen

I agree with the Nick Simmons crush. I didn't realize it until recently, when Gene Simmons visited the radio station I work at. Some of the girls went over to meet him, and my first question was, "Is Nick with him?" Which he wasn't. His wit and sarcasm are far beyond his years! And that's what I like.

January 01 2009 at 10:59 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I totally have a crush on Jim Parsons. I have no idea why, outside of the fact that I tend to go for tall, skinny, awkward geeks on a regular basis. That's something I probably should talk to a professional about. Especially since I never date these guys in real life, where I date macho misogynist losers who like to borrow money and never get real jobs.

December 31 2008 at 7:01 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I agree with russell brand. I'm a waitress & I served him recently. Super cool, very polite & extremely charming. Had no idea really who he was before, but now I do!

December 31 2008 at 3:11 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Might as well age myself...In 1982 I had a massive crush on David Letterman, that lasted about 15 years. Then he got a little older, a little more persnickety and a bit less open. Meaning, he started taking sides on things, getting political instead of being just funny. Now I can't watch him, and I miss him.

Nick Simmons - big time crush!! Never had one on Gene, but Nick is a doll. I love that oddball family. I would have never believed that a family by Shannen and Gene could be so wonderful. Apparently, Nick's band plays somewhere in LA a lot, and I was like - aaaaawwww, I MISSED it! the last time I was there. He is just such a smart, funny and LEVEL kid. He's everything I would have wanted in a boyfriend at that age, and would make an awesome son at this one.

Happy New Year!

December 31 2008 at 3:01 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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