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October 8, 2015

The Lingerie Bowl is without clothes, dignity and a venue

by Danny Gallagher, posted Jan 18th 2009 11:06AM
If part of your Super Bowl plans consisted of watching the Lingerie Bowl on pay-per-view at halftime, then first of all find a girlfriend immediately and secondly, think again.

The St. Petersburg Times reports that the owners of the four-years-young full contact football floozy-off lost their playing field in the zero hour.

This, of course, is a double whammy for the Lingerie Bowl organizers who had to cancel last year's game and hoped to make their big comeback with Super Bowl XLIII. They've also got less than three weeks to find a new venue, or the tears of hundreds of thousands of very, very, very lonely men will evaporate into sorrow vapor, form into a sadness cloud and create a tribulation hurricane the likes of which we have never seen.

The event was scheduled to be held on a field in West Tampa, but some local neighbors didn't like the prospect of a whorish football game being held in their backyard and the owners respectfully pulled the event. That's right, these people don't want people parading around in skimpy, butt-cheek revealing outfits in public. Not in a clean, respectable state like Florida.

A local city council actually pulled the request from the company to use the field because of the rise in complaints and a lack of the necessary insurance. I'm guessing that's not the owners' fault since Geico doesn't offer insurance for busted silicone implants or rug burn.

The story doesn't say if the owners have plans to relocate the event or if they will even hold another game this year. If that concerns you, again, please seek help or a girlfriend immediately.

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Better yet...find a girlfriend that wants to watch it with you.

January 18 2009 at 10:11 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply


A nudist resort in a county above Tampa will be hosting the event.

January 18 2009 at 7:17 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

It just so happens I own a field right next to my house. I'd be willing to loan it to them free of charge if they would like.

January 18 2009 at 3:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Have never seen the previous lingerie bowls, but since when is loneliness a prerequisite for wanting to gawk at half-nekkid ladies?

January 18 2009 at 1:10 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Dammit. Both my wife and my girlfriend were really looking forward to dressing up as the opposing teams during this game and recreating the on field drama right in front of me.

Dude - get a grip. Guys like watching hot chicks in bikini's run around, big deal. Also, the lonely guy and whorish girl comments are predictable and boring.

January 18 2009 at 12:26 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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