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September 2, 2015

Lingerie Bowl canceled, then renewed, then canceled again

by Danny Gallagher, posted Feb 1st 2009 9:55AM
God has offered us another conflicting sign that depending on who you ask, he either loves and respects us or is punishing us for doing something really, really bad. Check which chromosome they are carrying before you ask.

Lingerie Bowl VI, that pay-per-view hotbed of halftime entertainment for lonely fantasy football players with too much time and money on their hands, lost their first venue in Florida awhile back. Then, the doomed franchise rose from the ashes like a mighty phoenix when the league's owners found a new venue at a nudist colony in Tampa.

But just as that majestic phoenix spread its flaming wings and took to the skies once again, someone blasted it with a fire extinguisher. The game has been canceled for the second straight year because of a dispute with their new venue.

The newest cancellation has raised all sorts of ruckus, not just for the beleaguered franchise's latest game but within the franchise as well. Oh, I hope a pillow fight breaks out. That way the Lingerie Bowl would at least have something worth airing on Sunday.

The nudist colony did butt (wrong choice of words) heads with the heads of the franchise over their "clothing-optional" rule. Since the event would be a broadcast, the franchise wanted their spectators to put something on for God's sake, because if the camera adds ten pounds when you're in your best suit, imagine what it adds when gravity is involved.

Some of the "players" didn't like the idea of playing in front of a naked 50-year-old architect from Danbury, Connecticut, so they up and quit. After all, what these girls lack in clothing, they make up for in dignity and self-respect.

The league, however, claims they fired the players for "a lack of dedication." Why isn't the National Organization for Women jumping all over this?

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Why did you use Danbury? I'm from Danbury, and I'm a bit insulted

February 04 2009 at 9:23 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

People have actually paid to watch that?

February 01 2009 at 10:34 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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