Heroes: Cold Wars
by Jason Hughes, posted Feb 24th 2009 2:02AM
(S03E17) Well, the three stooges pretty much hogged up the entire episode, didn't they? In the end, it was Moe who had to come along and save the day because Larry and Curly kept bickering with each other to the point they were both captured. But who stayed captured? And what did they find out that was worth all the throwing around and breaking of mirrors? *yawn* Man, it turns out the stooges aren't nearly as fun to watch as I remembered.
The good momentum established in the first three chapters of this volume were completely squashed as the action ground to a screeching halt in this episode. We did learn that HRG is clearly a loyal lapdog to whatever cause he's behind. We know this because his memories as he sees them are in black-and-white and everyone knows dogs see in black-and-white ... yep, that's right. I just totally wasted your time with that lame-ass joke. You'll never get that time back. Hiro's lost his powers. He also lost the ability to appear in an episode, along with Ando, Claire and even Aquaman (who's still hiding in her closet, I guess).
Really, no one has yet blabbed to anyone that Nathan can fly? "How did you get here so fast?" "He flew" would have been Peter's natural response. "Oh, he didn't tell you he could do that?" Boom. Blow the lid off this whole thing so fast even Daphne couldn't keep up. But no, everybody's too busy posing and looking all dramatic and not talking to actually accomplish anything.
How about when Peter was flying off to get the hunter in the first place. HRG says "Peter!" and "Don't go!" and when that doesn't work tries "Peter!" a few more times. Can't string together a sentence there, Noah? Maybe a few words as to why he shouldn't go. Maybe a more compelling argument then saying his name. "You know, I was going to fly off half-cocked, but the way you said my name just then ... I'm really rethinking every major decision I've made in my entire life. Thanks, man." "Peter."
I actually found myself missing Claire. And what did we learn after all? We learned that Nathan went to Noah to establish his new initiative. We learned that the hunter is the guy behind the hunting. Huh, look at that. We didn't learn a damned thing that we either didn't already know or didn't already figure out because we can take off our shoes and count to 20 all by ourselves.
The confederacy of dunces did manage to only get one of their number captured. Poor super-strong Mohinder. At least he's now in the same containment facility as Daphne, who's not dead as many of you suggested when she was shot. I know, why was I so quick to sign her death warrant? Primarily because she's not from the original season one cast. It seems that anyone who's added later has to die at some point or another, and I thought that was her time. But with the bizarre noises she was making tonight, Matt might wish she'd died. I don't care what kind of pain she's in, cows don't make that kind of noise when they've broken all their legs.
Sorry, Tim Kring, you can't win them all. And I guess you're allowed a filler episode here and there. Maybe I just didn't need to know quite so much how HRG got into the position he was in that you needed to fill an entire episode with it. In fact, the only scenes we really needed were the ones where he told the hunter he was on board 100%, and the one where he told Ma Petrelli he wasn't on board with either Nathan or the hunter 100%. It was a nice watch, though.