Nip/Tuck: Giselle Blaylock & Legend Chandler (season finale)
(S05E22) "Can I call you Mommy now?" - Wilbur
Well it took about a year and a half (thank you WGA strike), but Nip/Tuck's twenty-two episode fifth season has finally come to a close. As a finale, this episode delivered exactly what I was looking for: a few unanswered questions to leave us hanging as well as a few answers we've been waiting to have addressed since the first half of the season. Even better? There wasn't another one of those weird lip-syncing montages. One of those was enough.
As Christian and Liz's wedding day approached, you knew it would put Christian into a frenzy. Living forever and maintaining a legacy have always been things he was concerned with in some way, shape, or form. Getting the extra immortality nudge from the vampirically obsessed Giselle and Legend didn't help matters. I couldn't help but laugh when Christian tried on Giselle's fangs and the scene where he visited the cryogenics facility was equally humorous: "Meet Herb Schlansky, your eternity partner!"
The entire episode, Christian was flailing in the water, just waiting for something to help him float. In one way, that float is Liz, but the nagging question that's been bugging everyone, "what if Christian didn't have cancer," finally got answered. He doesn't. Clerical error by a lab tech. His cancer is in remission. He still has a full long life to live and let's be honest - sad, but true, Liz isn't going to be a part of it. Christian never would have proposed to her if he hadn't been given the six-months left to live message. Do I believe he truly loves her? Yes, absolutely. But he won't stay with her.
In some regards, he's just like Ram (great to see John Schneider back). Both men are insatiable and live by the flavor of the week mentality. Married life is going to be very disappointing for Liz I think. The real question is when will Christian tell Liz? She'll know what's going to happen immediately.
Moving on the rest of the hour, I have to say that I'm a little disappointed with Teddy's story. Turns out she's just some really messed up chick, addicted to nitrous and leading men on. While she described her "dead" aunt, she was obviously describing herself and the whole bit about "no man taking away her spirit" explains everything. Once we saw her kill the Vegas surgeon she was using, it fell flat for me. Sean is falling in love with Teddy too. Going back to my original comment, I'm disappointed because it feels just like Colleen all over again. The only difference is that Colleen tried to kill Sean because she was obsessed with him and Teddy will presumably try to kill Sean because he's in love with her.
Final thoughts -
It was a little odd that Julia wasn't at the wedding. Maybe she was, but we didn't see her and that just doesn't feel right considering the history these characters have. I would have expected to see Julia before I saw Kimber.
And speaking of Kimber, I bet she'll somehow find out Christian is in remission and start to mess with Liz. Anything to get a new sugar-daddy.
But what about Matt? The way Kimber treats Matt is deplorable and yet he still loves her. I hope we get some more conflict between those two next season.
Eden had some of the best lines of the night. The quip about Kimber's face looking like an old purse was hilarious. Reminded me of the pilot episode when Christian told her everything that was wrong with her appearance.
Wanna bet Sean develops a nitrous addiction now?
And that's all she wrote. Nip/Tuck only has 19 episode left in the series' run and I've read conflicting reports that it could be one final season or a nine ep sixth season and a ten ep final seventh. Either way, it won't be back until 2010. In the meantime, Rescue Me returns to FX on Tuesday, April 7th for its twenty-two episode fifth season.