"Give me back that Filet-O-Fish, give me that fish (oooooo)...Give me back that Filet-O-Fish, give me..."

Annoyed yet? This has got to be the most irritating ad on TV right now. I'm sure there are people out there who are say "oh, it's so cute!" but I'm sure there are even more people who lunge for the remote control every time they see the commercial starting. It's like someone is jabbing pencils in your ears for 30 seconds. But it has somehow become a phenomenon, much like those "Head-On, apply directly to the forehead...Head-On, apply directly to the forehead" spots.

Let's take a close look at the singing fish...

Everything about the commercial gets on my nerves, from (obviously) the irritating voice of the fish to the weird expression the guy has on his face as he chews the sandwich. I'm also puzzled why this guy doesn't seem surprised that a fish mounted on a wall is suddenly singing even though his work buddy seems completely stunned. I also hate the music, which sounds like the stuff we all used to create on our keyboards back in 1986.

I also must take issue with the fish's logic. He sings "If it was you in that sandwich, you wouldn't be laughing at all." First off, the guy isn't even laughing! Second, if it was the guy in the sandwich, we'd have to change the name to Filet-O-Human or something. Third, the guy wouldn't be eating himself.

Speaking of eating yourself, another category of commercials is the "adorable food mascot that encourages you to eat them and their friends" spot. Here's the latest:

The little guys should be commended for wanting to help this kid with his history test, but how can they be so happy that he's sitting there eating their friends? Or are the other Mini-Wheats all dead, floating in a bowl of 2% and these two guys are the only ones who remain alive? Will they be eaten too at some point or did they get immunity?

This ad takes it a step further. While I admire the commercial's attention to detail in recreating the finale of Rocky (right down to Adrien's hat falling off and having her look back at it), there's no escaping the fact that the cookie is grabbed by a human hand and, well, eaten and killed.

Hopefully we'll be spared a fifth sequel 30 years from now, where the cookie comes back to fight one more time after the death of Adrien.

Question: why would Talia Shire be married to a chocolate chip cookie?

It's all very strange. Let's leave it to David Puddy to put all of this into perspective for us: