Weekly Reality Awards

This week, reality television maintained some normalcy. The outliers in Survivor, Dancing with the Stars, and Hell's Kitchen went home. Although I'll lament the loss of Mel and Mike in The Amazing Race, I believe that all the remaining teams deserve to be there.

Speaking of teams, the Survivor Secret Alliance still has the numbers. With the merge inevitable, we'll see if one of the best alliances ever created will stick together. As long as Coach goes home, I'll be satisfied. More analysis after the jump.

Most Unnecessary Twist – Nicole (The Biggest Loser: Couples) – On paper, having a contestant return after they were screwed by a twist sounds like a good idea. It turns out that even if you lost more than 80 pounds, the stress of the game can make you gain weight. Nicole came in ranked second and then proceeded to gain five pounds. She was sent home after her one week back.

Funniest Imitation – Allison Iraheta (American Idol) – Who would have thought that a young girl with red hair could do a good take on Danny Gokey? A girl sounding like Michael MacDonald is classic. Luckily, she didn't imitate No Doubt when she sang "Don't Speak" too much.

Best Fight – Day 26 (Making the Band 4) – A fight was brewing on Making the Band. Although I thought it would have been Danity Kane, Day 26 delivered. The fight at the studio had a little bit of everything: glasses went flying, multiple people had to hold down Willie and Q, and tears were shed. The best moment had to be making an excuse of having to get your bag and lunging at the person for another punch. Television gold.

Best Substitute Fight – Aminat vs. Allison (America's Next Top Model) – After Celia tried to throw Tahlia under the bus at the last elimination, Aminat got angry at Allison because she supported Celia. What? This is like Aminat being upset at Sandra for not being a good model when she hasn't risen to the occasion. Celia stood next to Tahlia while the argument happened. After the fight, Celia and Tahlia sat down and talked like civilized people about the situation.

Most Awkward Date – Blue Team (Hell's Kitchen) – I recall rumors about never being able to flip over in a Segway, but I guess Gordon Ramsay proved me wrong. To make it worse, Robert was too large for a Segway and he was given a bike. What kind of prize is that? A Segway date sounds like something perfect for Steve Wozniak, but not Gordon Ramsay.

Coolest Name – Mr. Bandit (The Amazing Race) – Tammy and Victor struck some good taxi karma when they got Mr. Bandit. Even though the word "Bandit" connotes some bad-ass status, Mr. Bandit explained that it apparently means "teacher." Also notable is Cara and Jamie's taxi driver, Sak, for obvious reasons.

Hottest Moment – Gilles and Cheryl (Dancing with the Stars) – Gilles is miles away from all the dancers because he has passion. Watching him and Cheryl dance the Argentine Tango was almost too hot for TV. I felt like I shouldn't be watching the two smolder on the dance floor.

Best Hiding Spot – A statue's ass (Survivor: Tocantins) – Who was the production genius who thought that hiding the Hidden Immunity Idol in an ass of a statue was cool? After Taj found it in the Tree Mail Man's ass, she created a believable decoy for others to find. Joe took the bait.

Worst Prank – Milk on clothes (The Real World: Brooklyn) – The prank war between the boys and the girls ended with the girls' glorious decision to taint food and pour milk in boxes of clothes. They crossed the line when they not only denied the prank, but also threw JD under the bus.

Pipe Dream Award – Cat Deeley – Ryan Seacrest was a little sick on April Fool's Day and the producers were ready with a substitute: So You Think You Can Dance host Cat Deeley. I wish that he was sick just so we could see how a different host would have treated the show (Brian Dunkleman doesn't count). Cat Deeley is supportive of the contestants and has this English charm that is endearing.

News and Notes:

Jon & Kate Plus 8 confirmed for a fifth season - I guess Jon's rant about not being adjusted to the fame at the end of season four was quickly silenced by Kate. Maybe they will change the title to Kate Plus 9.

Runnin' Wild ... From Ted Nugent will debut in August – Ted Nugent and his son Rocco will hunt down people. So this is like Cha$e, but with Survivor elements? Or is this like Battle Royale, but without the passion?