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Does anyone watch The Cougar and if so, do they have eyes?

by Danny Gallagher, posted Apr 16th 2009 9:05AM
Stacey Anderson, star of TV Land's The Cougar

The marketing for this show has been relentless, and that's an understatement. It's easier to shake the SARS virus in a back alley chicken hut in downtown Hong Kong than it is to shake an ad for The Cougar.

One of my personal rules (number one is "thou who smelt it, dealt it") is the harder the advertising, the worse a show is bound to be. TV Land hasn't just aired a commercial for The Cougar every five seconds in between their few remaining watchable shows. They air it on other networks. They plaster ads all over the Internet. If the economy dips any lower, they'll probably start tattooing ads to people's foreheads.

It doesn't make me want to tune in. It makes me want to travel back in time to the early 1980s, so I can rip out the throat of the lead singer of The Waitresses and prevent them from ever singing that "I Know What Boys Like" song ever again.

It's become so relentless, shallow and pale that I can't even bring myself to watch it in order to do a review FOR MONEY. Instead, here's a stitched together reanimated corpse of news reviews. People who actually watched AND liked the show will also have a chance to defend it because I still need the money.

Now to be fair, I did my very best to find at least one halfway decent review of the show's first episode. The only one that came remotely close to nice came from Popmatters' critic Todd Ramlow who gave the show a "1" out of "10." You can guess where the rest of the reviews go from there. The closest he came to a complement was in the pleasure the show sometimes provides from watching these meatheads make an ass of themselves on national television for a date. That is until things turn ugly and even violent with the poor Cougar caught in the middle and "the tableaux looking creepily like the gang-bang set up from some cheap porn flick."

It's a complement in that porn is worth the ticket price.

Newsday's Verne Gay took the opposite approach to his review. He felt the show wasn't mean enough and left his mouth craving for the taste of blood. "What was needed was a Rabid Cougar, who would chew up, then spit out these panting puppies one by one. Now that's entertainment."

I'll take it one step further. I think the show could benefit from an ACTUAL cougar. The thought of 12 desperate guys learning that they have to compete for the affection of a nature-made meat grinding machine would teach them humility, the price of exhibitionism and how to deal with fear.

The most savage review comes from New York Daily News' David Hinckley who strips away the show's phony female empowerment veneer with an industrial strength cheese grater. "It's being sold as a proud salute to female empowerment. But it's hardly accidental that it's also feeding a widespread teenage male fantasy about their friends' hot moms."

Crap, they're on to us. To the MILFmobile, Wingman!

After reading these reviews, I can't picture anyone watching this show, not even hardcore reality junkies who gave up pieces of their own realities to sit in front of fake ones. If you do watch this show and wish to defend it, please do so in the comments section below and I'll give it its due equal time in a future post. I can't promise I won't rip it to shreds, so be happy that I'm promising equal time.

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14 Comments

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PORSCHE

Wow.. I don't watch much TV land... but now I see her pic...I'm in for a few shows..can always ff through boring stuff.

April 17 2009 at 8:27 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Picviewer

How messed up are you if you can't find someone in your age bracket +/-5 years give or take? And that goes for both sexes.

April 16 2009 at 11:54 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
RobynM

We obviously don't travel in the same media circles - I saw one, maybe two ads for this show. Still, the ad I did see didn't do anything to make me consider watching it.

April 16 2009 at 7:09 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to RobynM's comment
BrvYnky

RobynM, this show is advertised through out the day on, I swear, every channel I put on. he is right you cant escape it and if you watch TV land it is advertised at EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK.

I disagree with aracely, First they started advertising relentlessly a month and a half before it started. there was no money being made. Second they wouldn't be pushing so hard advertising if it was a catch. Name me one other program (ok other then the closer and saving grace) gets pushed soooo hard. Ads are placed to get people to watch full blitz advertising is supposed to get people excited; if they are still in full blitz mode weeks into the shows after 6 weeks of pre-blizt this show must be a train wreck.

April 28 2009 at 1:13 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
iamhoff

When I got ready to walk the dog last night, the GF was watching it. When I came back in, she was doing the kiss off for the last 4 guys. Sad, but I thought the last guy to be booted out was pretty funny. He genuinely couldn't figure out why he wasn't chosen to stay. Now, I missed probably 75% of the show, but this dude simply wasn't as Axe/Abercrombie/Douchey as the others...there was no way he was going to be able to compete. Now, I haven't figured out exactly what the contests are going to be, but I'll probably be forced to watch it at least one more time. Personally, I can't wait until some of the hard core "SLR Guy" (google it) types get booted and go off the set crying about their feelings. That's going to be the most entertaining part of it. That, and how much of a whore the cougar winds up being.

April 16 2009 at 6:59 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
GL

You should be forced to watch the damn show for providing us this sham of a post.

April 16 2009 at 2:18 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
L'Emmerdeur

La la la la Reality-Free tag FTL. My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

April 16 2009 at 1:11 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
a jug of Clorox

Proofreading note-- it's compliment with an " i ", not complement.

April 16 2009 at 11:16 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Kel

"MILFmobile" It's nice to start the day with a chuckle. Thanks.

April 16 2009 at 10:32 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Kel's comment
mdk

At the risk of borrowing a catchphrase from another Movies/TV pop-culture blog (you all "Knowles" which one I'm referring to), I just had to comment on "aracely's" post thusly: PLANT!

April 16 2009 at 10:41 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
robert

Haven't (and won't) seen the show but I thought The Cougar was a pretty funny joke when it was on 30 Rock and called MILF Island... creating an actual show based on that premise is just sad though.

April 16 2009 at 9:46 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
3 replies to robert's comment

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