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The Amazing Race: Our Parents Will Cry Themselves to Death

by Jackie Schnoop, posted Apr 20th 2009 1:04AM
Phil Keoghan hosts The Amazing Race

(S14E09) Promos for tonight's The Amazing Race made it look like there might be a knock-down drag-out fight between Jen (of Kisha and Jen) and Luke (Margie and Luke, naturally). Now, there's nothing that can make an interesting show even more interesting than an old-fashioned brouhaha. At least, not in my book, there isn't.

So, I'm thinking ... Luke versus Jen. Which one would I put my money on for the win? I'd have to go with Jen. While Luke throws a good hissy-fit, I think she's not one he should take on. Maybe if it were a hissy-fit brouhaha, Luke would have the edge.

My Luke conundrum
I so want to like Luke. I usually adore his mother. But Luke has a problem, and I think Margie is enabling him. Having a deaf friend in my own life, I know communication can get frustrating at times. But Luke doesn't seem to read lips at all, which tends to add to his communication woes. I admire how well he can do and his determination. But, let's face it -- this kid is spoiled and mollycoddled. Yes, I said mollycoddled.

Tonight he definitely did elbow Jen at the clue box, albeit perhaps without thinking. It seemed to be more of a reflex. Then, later, he ran right into Jen, although he backed off immediately. That might have been totally accidental. They even replayed the clips for us during the welcome mat brouhaha. Jen herself is aggressive, so it's not like she's some delicate flower. Luke should have apologized for the elbowing and not gotten so hissy-fittish over being called a bitch.

Luke elbows Jen at the clue box

It really bit my butt that Margie automatically defended Luke's actions and accused the entire hearing world of thinking deaf people are dumb. I so admire all she's done in the race, but I just can't abide by that. She's not always going to be there to protect him from the evil world at large. When he acts up, she needs to see his behavior and call him on it. She can't just base all things on the world being against him because he's deaf. The boy needs a lot of maturing, and his mother has to realize that.

Mark and Michael had no chance, but are good sports
After their time penalty and the speed bump set for this leg, it looks like Mark and Michael decided to have a good time. Yes, they tried to make decent time. But, more than anything else, they let loose a bit and had some fun with their speed bump, the roadblock, and the detour.

Bits and pieces
What did I learn from this episode? Well, I learned how to call someone a "bitch" in sign language. I'm sure that will be useful sometime during my life. I also learned how to say "thank you" in Mandarin, but don't ask me how to spell it. I liked the cormorant fishing better when done on Survivor: China by a family. The folks tonight seemed a bit abusive towards the birds.

I found it interesting that most of the taxi drivers they had in China were women. I know it's rare to see women cabbies here in the NYC area, and I don't recall seeing any on the show previously. I could be misremembering. You did notice that the women taxi drivers were all good ones, and they had no Taxis of Doom tonight. Heh.

Tammy and Victor had an edge which, in the end, didn't really get them ahead. They speak Chinese which should have been a huge advantage. Their own sneakiness showed up when they were telling drivers and others that their parents would cry themselves to death if they lose and such. But, it ended up being just a smidgen of an advantage.

For the record, the Pit Stop order:
1. Jen and Kisha -- Won a trip to Barbados
2. Tammy and Victor
3. Margie and Luke
4. Jaime and Cara
5. Mark and Michael -- Philiminated

Is Luke mollycoddled by Margie?
Yes605 (76.7%)
No58 (7.4%)
Maybe it's the stress of the race126 (16.0%)

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After tonight's episode, I had to see if it was just me, or is Luke a huge whiner, and basically, an ugly person... good to see that many people share my opinion of him! He is NOT a nice person.

April 26 2009 at 9:26 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

It has been refreshing to see that the race has helped quite a few people get along better, Mel and Mike and Tammy and Victor. I didn't even expect Mark and Michael to make up but they did and enjoyed the race too. It seems like so many episodes ago since Tammy and Victor fought... although as lawyers I'm not sure I think they need to win... they're the team I dislike the least at the moment.

I like Margie but Luke... it was his call to u-turn Amanda and Kris without provocation early on, I think his determination to win and the lack of maturity is starting to wear on me.

April 23 2009 at 1:28 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

The only thing that surprised me was that Luke didn't cry after being bit by the bird.

April 20 2009 at 9:23 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Joyce N.

ReesieKitty, I watched my tape of TAR and watched the two altercations several times in slo-mo. I totally agree with you now. Luke was the instigator in both instances. Jen and Kisha are not getting a fair shake here.

Margie Mommy is not helping her Luke Baby by defending him when he's wrong. She'd be much better off gathering some facts before blindly defending her son and always assuming he was wronged. His whining, pouting and complaining is really getting on people's nerves. Her use of the "deaf" card is getting so old. And if that elbow had connected, Jen could have been seriously hurt.

April 20 2009 at 9:23 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Diane White

OH I forgot to mention this. I like to share with you about www.Deaf.com that you ll see a lot of informations about Deaf People of the ASL Culture.

"Light of Love" of the ASL Culture" This is the quote I added into my words to go along with "Light of Love". ;) I found the icon and quote by Native American people who created it. I saw it and love to use it because the symbols tells me that it gives out the message of love for Deaf babies/children of the ASL Culture. It reminds me that white men did taking Native American s language away from the past. I do respect Native American people that I care for them and ASL Culture/Deaf People from all over the world.

Have a good week! :)

Deaf SweetMind

April 20 2009 at 5:22 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Here's another perspective, Deaf people would much rather use American Sign Language as you would with spoken English than having to write back and forth. because it's much more convenient. When they choose to write back and forth to communicate with hearing people, they are using the next best alternative method to communicate. You would be in the same position as they are because neither of you are using your natural way of communicating. They know they can't expect you to know ASL to make things more convenient for them, so you shouldn't expect them to be able to lip-read and have vocal abilities. While you are not required to know any other languages other than English, they have no other choices but to learn English to be able to survive in this country and ingrate with the society. Many other countries are required to learn English in schools. Many other places all over the world, such as airports, are written and spoken in English. You're lucky and really shouldn't take your language and communication for granted.

April 20 2009 at 4:24 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to conrad.jd's comment
Diane White

Thats damn right! conrad. Thanks for the additional comment about English written that is pain in the neck for both sides in some ways. Most hearing people do not want to bother with a note for us to communicate in a long conversation.. It s no fun at all. I rather human and eyes contact to each other that should be done.

Also there are sometimes for us having a problem with emotional tones that people thinks we are yelling or shouting, or angry or whatever they think of our Deaf voices. So it s not worthwhile for us to speak in our Deaf voice all the time because it causes more problem for both sides as well as ASL is the solution to solve our having the total communication in ASL that has everything in body language, gesture, visual arts that helps you to get the blubs in many ways. :)

Also, I like to add about Deaf people who can communicate with foreign people because of gesture, body language, facial expression and many more while hearing people do not understand the foreign spoken language anytime unless you study one of those foreign language. See this difference now??. :)

So therefore I feel that Deaf people need to learn new Deaf foreign language like British Sign Language, Japanese Sign Language for our ASL education for our Deaf children s future education as well. Why not since hearing people have their own foreign spoken language in their education. :)

Thanks! ;)
Deaf SweetMind

April 20 2009 at 4:55 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Please, don't try to excuse Luke's elbowing reaction because "he could not hear Jen coming from behind". I am Deaf myself and I think that excusing Luke's behavior because of his deafness is just hogwash. Luke *knew* that Jen was going for the clue box as well and would have expected her to try and get the clue as well. I don't think Luke was trying to hit Jen - he was just trying to push her away because Jen obviously was trying to get the clue *over* his shoulder, and that was just rude. Jen should have waited for her turn to get the clue. One or two seconds wouldn't have made a difference.

After that, they both just got aggressive and hotheaded. That was just a part of being competitive. Though I thought that Luke was just being a little too aggressive after being told that Jen called him a b**** and that was just not necessary. I found it a bit immature.

What really gets me is how Luke and Margie overreacted at the Pit Stop mat, using the Deaf card. These incidents at both clue boxes had NOTHING to do with Luke being Deaf. It just made me cringe -- that just makes the rest of the Deaf community look bad. I agree with some of you that Margie was being too overprotective of Luke and that Luke was very whiny and obviously led a sheltered life.

Now, what really pisses me off is what some of you said in the comments about his inability to communicate with the rest of the world. I am just appalled at the attitude some of you hold on why Luke couldn't lip read. While I do agree with you that the Deaf community needs to learn to live with the majority of the society, which is hearing people, you have NO rights to think that we have to do everything to make things more convenient FOR YOU.

Like I said earlier, I'm Deaf and I used to be an excellent lip-reader. I eventually resented lip-reading and stopped after seeing the fact many people wanted the easy way out. I got tired of the very first question people ask me, "Can you read lips?". I got tired of people trying to avoid writing back and forth, expecting me to read-lips. I got tired of how difficult people made it for me to lip-read them (i.e. mouthing very small, covering their mouths, no direct eye contact, etc). You might not realize this but you are putting ALL the burden of communication on us. I grew up, working very heard to learn YOUR language -- English, that is. You folks learned to read and write in English in school, so APPLY that! Americans have gotten lazy and expect everything to be convenient for them.

April 20 2009 at 2:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
4 replies to conrad.jd's comment

The whole incident would have amounted to nothing if Jen hadn't called him a bitch, was that necessary? Maybe an "I'm sorry" would have come from Luke if Jen hadn't mouthed off immediately, that set up the whole second clue box scenario. And Jen knew Luke wouldn't hear her comment, it was meant to get to Margie, who of course told Luke, because he saw how upset his mom was.

Tammy/Victor, kmowing the language is not a plus, many, many contestants speak other languages, remember Charla and her cousin, I think they spoke like 5 or 6 languages. And everyone uses ruses to gain advantage, telling the taxi driver their parents would dry themselves to death, it was a laugh!
Jen/Keisha, out, they have not run a smart race, only a lucky race. I can not see them winning when they get to the memory puzzle at the end.
The Cheerleaders - time to go. And ironically jsut as they were starting to be nicer to taxi drivers.
I see this coming down to Margie/Luke and Tammy/Victor, odds tip to Tammy/Victor

April 20 2009 at 2:16 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Robyn's comment

It's interesting that you mention Charla as this whole incident brought her to mind for me as well. She certainly had limitations being a little person (having to mount a horse! schlepping a side of beef!), but she was always upbeat, never used her diminutive size as an excuse and, in fact, usually outperformed her cousin on most of the challenges. She made the viewers think differently about the capabilities of little people. Sadly, I don't think Luke is achieving the same result in terms of his disability, despite his very earnest desire to do so.

April 20 2009 at 2:47 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Diane White

I agree with Ryan's comments all the way. :) So I thought it would be helpful for you to understand what I tried to educate you guys / gals out there about Deaf people 's our natural abilities that we can do anything except listening and orally speaking that is our choice to use it or not. No one says we must hear or speak in our Deaf voices for you or your sakes if you cannot able to accept us Deaf human beings completely in this world from a start. Thanks! ;)

I want to say something about not having any interpreter translations for Luke's and his mother Margie. The reason is that Margie supposed to be playing in this part of Amazon Race, too that she should not herself burden to interpret for her son all the time. This is the same old cycle behavior patterns that put her to interpret for his Deaf son for you and your sakes by this society because she knows American Sign Language. Meanwhile we, Deaf people or Deaf parents intend to get the blame for depend on our hearing children to communicate with any strangers or teachers or whoever do not know how to communicate with Deaf parents or Deaf people as usual. People are intending to look at my kids before me as a mother. I dont appreciate their attitude toward me at all for not trying to find a way to communicate with me from a start after they realized I am deaf.

Also, I didn't like people asked me Can you read my lip? I would say NO because I am avoiding to receive the miscommunication or making more conflict of problem like a big misunderstanding/frustrations between us. too . That is all there is to it. I cannot able to listen or to hear the spoken language and do have a speech impairment that should not a problem for me to communicate however they kept saying something that gives me their nasty looks or panic looks or saying "nevermind" that is their attitudes toward us as usual. I dislike those terms at all. So anyway, they walked away from me which is fine with me as far as I am not gonna to chase and talk to me, please. No way jose! because that's their barrier of communication or lacking of communication with me. :) After all I can speak and prefer not to use it at all that would be more safer this way for me and my protection from those troublemaker or problem creator people who does that all the time. That's their loss in a way but however, it s getting tiresome of that kind of attitude from them in my whole life.

So I don't know why Amazon Race did not provide Luke a interpreter at first. So he can be independent to feel freely to speak whatever he wants that is not to depend on his mother all the time. That s a natural for being mother who protected him from her own experience that she feels that she need to stand up for her own rights to let people needs to respect her son, no matter what happens. It s not fair for his mother to tolerate to burden on her shoulder that is the same thing for our Children of Deaf Adults. This s a very good example that we Deaf people are frustrated with hearing people who doesnt want to pay the interpreter to communicate with us meanwhile they are taking advantage of our CODA children s childhood experiences to put them into burden their shoulders too. So Don't blame us Deaf people that we had no choice to make after all we cant or can speak however I do not trust lip-reading that can leads us into the conflict of interest and miss out a lot more than you think. It s only 35 percent of lip- read for Deaf people to understand it very well. So therefore, Do NOT expect us to read your lip after all there are all kind of lip movement that we cannot able to understand it . For many Deaf people who can lipreading with American Sign Language that has no voice in it.

I must say Margie should not been interpreting for his son while she has things to do with her son in the Amazon Race that should be focus onto it for her own competition with her son. That s between her son and his mother s way of their intention to communicate to each other during the game that is so wonderful to show the whole world that is a very excellent example of Deaf child and the parent's Love Bonding have the total communication without "forcing the kids to listen with any devices and orally speaking only. So there is a real evidence of American Sign Language works for both sides. Luke did his best that he spoke in his voice however they made fun of him as usual. It does not surprise me at all. That is Audism!

I agree with Ryan's comments all the way. :) So I thought it would be helpful for you to understand what I tried to educate you guys / gals out there about Deaf people 's our natural abilities that we can do anything except listening and orally speaking that is our choice to use it or not. No one says we must hear or speak in our Deaf voices for you or your sakes if you cannot able to accept us Deaf human beings completely in this world from a start. Than

April 20 2009 at 1:59 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I think that at the first clue box, Jen's momentum running behind Luke is such that I don't see how she could have stopped herself from crashing into him. If you watch what happens, he gets there a second before she does, but she is also running full out, basically runs into him and shears off to one side, where he tried to throw an elbow to her face.

Ok, she should not have run into him, but I don't think she did it on purpose. And I'm sorry, even being deaf, they were basically running alongside each other, so he had to KNOW it was her- its not like he was standing at the clue box and she snuck up on him.

Throwing the elbow was what really got me. Ok, a little shoving is bound to happen at a clue box when people get there at the same time. But Jen did not try and take the clue from him- she was reaching over his shoulder to try and sang another clue from inside the box, which to me seems ok in the heat of the race. The elbow was really hardcore and uncalled for- in a basketball game that would have gotten Luke a penalty for sure.

At the second clue box, I did feel like it was sort of the same, but again, if you slow it down and watch, Luke really does give Jen a shove into the box. It isn't accidental- he is obviously p***sed off and wants to take it out on someone ( kind of like my 9 year old son in a bad mood).

Although it isn't polite to call someone a bi***- those were bi*** moves.

At the mat... Margie totally reacted unfairly. I think after all this time on the race, most of the contestants and camera people are probably accustomed to the way Luke's voice sounds or how his signing looks. I think Jen and Kiesha were just sort of laughing out of nervousness and 'what the heck?!?' because in my living room, we were reacting in a very similar way to Margie and Luke's version of events.

I'm sorry, but Luke is a very very sheltered and overprotected young man. I can understand Margie's being in her son's corner, but playing the 'deaf card' here was completely inappropriate, as was saying that the entire HEARING WORLD makes fun of the deaf and is basically out to get them. Hyperbole much, Margie? It's patently untrue and just silly. When Luke spends the entire show- every episode this has come up- complaining that he doesn't get treated like everyone else and that hearing people underestimate deaf people- you don't get to blame all your altercations on your deafness. Margie should have allowed Luke to man up and own some of his actions. Even when Phil was trying to give him a chance to tell his side of the story, all he wanted to do was walk away and pout.

Margie's comments about being black and knowing what it's like and 'you people' (we were saying "OMG! did she just actually say 'you people' to the black girls???) were said in the heat of the moment, but may also tell something about how Luke has been brought up in a very insular community of the deaf that probably isn't hugely integrated in other ways as well. But- I would like to point out that you did not see Jen and Keisha throw a fit about that and play the 'race' card to match the 'deaf' card. All in all, I think there was a little over reaction on both sides, but Luke just came off as not just a spoiled boy as usual, but an actual jerk. This was the first episode I did not like Margie.

April 20 2009 at 1:54 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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