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October 23, 2014

30 Rock: The Ones

by Bob Sassone, posted Apr 24th 2009 12:16AM
30 Rock(S03E19) "It's not product placement, I just like it!" - Liz, wearing a Slanket

OK, can we settle this once and for all? Liz Lemon/Tina Fey is not an unattractive woman. I don't care if she's wearing a rumpled TGS sweatshirt or a casual jacket or has glasses on or has her hair tied back or if she's wearing a potato sack or even a track suit. There's no way a snooty jewelry store clerk would look at her and doubt that Alec Baldwin/Jack would marry her.

Yes, she even looks great in a Slanket. Interesting they didn't go with the Snuggie, but also great that they didn't go with the Snuggie (and kudos to Fey for the above shout-out to viewers).

So we knew that Salma Hayek was going to return to 30 Rock, we just didn't know how it was going to happen. We also knew that her character would have to be written off somehow. So they solve that by having Elisa having a dark secret about killing her ex-husband because he cheated on her.

The storyline with Jenna was ... fair. It's always great to see Jenna flirt cluelessly and scheme and hear Jane Krakowski sing a little bit, but it just went on too long and got tedious and silly, ending twice, once with Kenneth faking his death (I doubt he'd want to hurt Jenna like that) and then again when he got sick on purpose for Jenna (that's more like him).

Odd how they set up Jenna's storyline by having Lutz be injured by the falling TV, and then they completely dropped his plot from the episode. I thought Jenna's paramedic was going to turn into a regular boyfriend for her for a bunch of episodes, but I guess the show isn't ready to go there with her yet. That would be a great development for next season, though. Give her a serious relationship to see how it changes her. Maybe even have her get married.

By the way, if someone can explain that line from Brian Williams, I'd appreciate it.

And now, those quotes we all love to hear:

- "In my experience, 'let's think about it' usually ends up as me watching Solid Gold in my basement on prom night." - Liz

- "Whoa, check out the bling. Or whatever it's called now." - Liz

- "Hey, where are my Sno-balls? I'm going to the gym later so I deserve a treat." - Liz

- "Allergies are psychosomatic. The only reason I'm allergic to dogs is because one bit me when I got my first period." - Liz

- "If I have a strawberry, my throat closes up faster than a girl in math class." - Kenneth

- "You're wise, Liz Lemon. Like a genetically-manipulated shark." - Tracy

- "Really? That's your guess? I'm a man?" - Elisa, to Liz about her secret

- "Wigco.com? Sheinhardt's Wig's user-generated content site. All that anybody ever posted on it were penises." - Jack

- "I called 911. They wouldn't even connect with their celebrity service." - Jenna

- "Elisa has a big secret! My current theory is that she's the mother of those Michael Jackson kids!" - Liz

- "Blue writing on green ... why?!?" - Liz, looking at a web site

- "Puerto Rican!!" - Liz, upon seeing Elisa (twice)

- "I'm sorry to tell you such a dark tale in such a silly shirt." - Elisa, wearing a "What The Frak?" shirt

- "My God. I already put my wedding announcement in Cigar Aficionado." - Jack

- "Somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody's perfect." - Jack

- "Oh for God's sake, what is this, Third Watch?" - Jenna, about all the different paramedic shifts

- "This is decadent. And I once went to Miami with Daryl Strawberry." - Jack, to Tracy at a club

- "Really? I've not heard of that term before. Do you know how to get to Connecticut?" - Brian Williams

- "Oh, you mean my mouth radio." - Kenneth, about his harmonica

- "It hurts more than my foot botox to know that he's out there and I can't find him." - Jenna

- "His life is like Enron, circa 1999. So wild." - Jack, about Tracy

- "Isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?" - Elisha, to Liz

- "You look happy. Did you finally settle that lawsuit over your exercise tape?" - Liz, to Jenna

30 Rock' Show & Cast Photos

    Actress Tina Fey arrives at the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards at the Nokia Theatre on September 21, 2008 in Los Angeles, California.

    Dan MacMedan/WireImage.com

    Actor Alec Baldwin attends HBO

    FilmMagic Inc/FilmMagic.com

    Actors Alec Baldwin and Jane Krakowski attend HBO

    Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic.com

    Actors Alec Baldwin and Jane Krakowski attend HBO

    Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic.com

    Actresses Tina Fey(L) and Amy Poehler attend the Governors Ball for the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards held at the Los Angeles Convention Center on September 21, 2008 in Los Angeles, California.

    Mathew Imaging/WireImage.com

    Writer-actress Tina Fey leaves HBO

    Mark Sullivan/WireImage.com

    Actress Tina Fey and TV Host Stephen Colbert attend the Governors Ball for the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards held at the Los Angeles Convention Center on September 21, 2008 in Los Angeles, California.

    Mathew Imaging/WireImage.com

    Actor Alec Baldwin attends the Governors Ball for the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards held at the Los Angeles Convention Center on September 21, 2008 in Los Angeles, California.

    Mathew Imaging/WireImage.com

    Actress Tina Fey arrives at the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards Governor

    Jason Merritt/FilmMagic.com

    Actresses Tina Fey and Amy Poehler arrives at the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards Governor

    Jason Merritt/FilmMagic.com

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29 Comments

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George

For me, the pinnacle of the episode was the "sociopath test" (after meeting the love of your life at your mother's funeral, but failing to get contact information, kill your father in hopes of your love returning to that funeral, too).
Then, accordingly, Jenna poisoning Kenneth's sandwich in hopes of her beloved emergency medical worker returning, upon which Kenneth exclaims as his dying words, "My real name is Dick Whitman!" (callout to Mad Men).

April 25 2009 at 12:25 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
MarcDom7

Brian Williams heard what the booty call had to say, and then asked if she knew how to get to Connecticut, where he was.

April 24 2009 at 4:20 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to MarcDom7's comment
yourstarla

Exactly!

April 24 2009 at 11:43 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Zachary

I really loved the gag with Frank's hat after they pranked Jenna when the writers donned feathered fedoras and Frank put a feathered cap labeled FEDORA over his original cap.

April 24 2009 at 2:52 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Matt

I took the Brian Williams line as the person on the other end mentioning something fetishy that involved a city/state...and a term that he wasn't aware of (i.e. "cleveland steamer" - urban dictionary if you really want to know). He didn't get it, so he asked if she knew how to get to Connecticut. I'm not sure if that works, but that's my guess. It didn't seem like he was interested in the offer, or even understood what the offer was.

April 24 2009 at 1:15 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
ac

Why is Brain Williams so awesome?

April 24 2009 at 12:04 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Zachary

I was excited at the beginning because I thought it would be a Lutz heavy episode. It is hilarious the way the treat him.
"You guys need to be more careful - we almost lost a monitor."

Elena still doesn't know the phrase "cuckooo for Cocoa Puffs"

April 24 2009 at 11:36 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Melissa

I don't get your crush on Tina Fey/Liz Lemon...esp this episode, she looked really frumpy at the jewelry store. She's "ok"...maybe a six out of ten...and we girls are pretty good at nailing our number:+) And YES, that was Zach Braff...good catch.

April 24 2009 at 11:29 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
2 replies to Melissa's comment
Dinu

Liz Lemon/Tina Fey is attractive and has what by all accounts seems to be a spectacular personality. You're entitled to your opinion, but she's more than a 6 if you take the whole package.

And no, that wasn't Zach Braff at all, check it out via your online medium of choice and pause it. Definitely not him.

April 25 2009 at 9:35 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Brandyn

I think it was zach braff for sure.

Check this pic. Tell me thats not him

http://www.flickr.com/photos/aseraphin/3477207763/

But good show overall. I was cracking up at the coco puffs line

April 28 2009 at 3:38 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Gary

How can you leave out Night Cheese!!!

April 24 2009 at 11:26 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Gary's comment
Erin

NIGHT CHEESE!!! Best line of the night :)

April 24 2009 at 4:26 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
a jug of Clorox

Also awesome-- Kenneth channeling Tom Hanks's last words in Saving Private Ryan: "EARN ... THIS!"

April 24 2009 at 10:06 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Amy

I loved it. Elisas twist was very 30 Rock. Like how Liz was dating her cousin, or Pheobe was a golddigger (with hollow bones) ect. It make Elisa work on the show finally.

Jane Krakowski rocks my socks, she was fantastic in this episode! (As usual.)

"That's one gay Lion" - Best Lorne-over ever!

http://pregnantcornbread.com

April 24 2009 at 9:31 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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