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October 7, 2015

The most annoying commercial of all-time of the week: BK's square butts ad

by Danny Gallagher, posted May 8th 2009 2:04PM
Burger King's new Spongebob Squarepants ad featuring Sir-Mix-a-LotAds for fast food kids' meals usually try to appeal to children. Not the child in all of us, actual children.

Burger King's new Kids' Meal ad doesn't just try to appeal to the parents in the room who don't care about their child's cholesterol intake. Its choice of music tries to appeal to the parents who are deaf.

The ad features a new rendition of Sir-Mix-A-Lot's classic big butt anthem "Baby Got Back" that talks about how he now "likes square butts and cannot lie." The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood isn't as amused and has started a letter writing campaign against the restaurant chain and the Nickelodeon network to express their disgust for cubed booty.

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Normally, I'm all for skanky dancers dressed as scantily clad cartoon characters shaking what the good Lord gave them for our amusement without having to pay for it. But Burger King has created the television equivalent of a swift kick to the boner.

Whatever hard work these girls did in the gym to obtain such shapely figures are ruined by the shoebox the costume designers have shoved into their outfits' backsides. Plus that creepy Burger King "King" is lording over all of them like some great ghastly pimp who would smack them upside their head with his plastic hand if their butts are a degree under perpendicular.

The CCFC should also add "ear shatteringly annoying" and "liable of first-degree manslaughter against my ear drums" while they are at it. This thing seems to run at all hours of the day or night, and even runs in succession in the same commercial break. Burger King has already damaged the nation's stomachs, colons, livers, kidneys and esophagi. Are they trying to hit for the cycle, short of going to each of our houses and jamming a cola straw in our ear canals?

But the worst part is how bad it makes you feel. The very end features a nickel-shelling Sir-Mix-a-Lot sitting on the couch proclaiming that "Booty is booty." You really feel sorry for the guy. His song gets royalties when it's played at every wedding, bar-mitzvah, prom, glow bowling night, and even a few poorly planned funerals. Now he's reduced to schlocking burgers with the one thing the world barely remembers him for. Just watching it will give you more heartaches than one of BK's Ultimate Omelet Sandwiches dipped in liquid cheese and fried to a golden brown.

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More importantly: did you like the King-ons?


May 09 2009 at 2:47 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Diana McGrath

actually, they look like rectangles to me....

May 09 2009 at 11:18 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Chalk me up as another of the amused, although I do hope Sir Mix-A-Lot got himself a nice fat check for it.

On the other hand, I'm with Bubba on the Kingons. The sooner those guys are gone, the better.

May 09 2009 at 8:01 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Why is it "not for children"? Are we talking about the same theory that right-wingnuts use to argue about not letting kids see homosexuals on TV; i.e., kids will see homosexuals and catch the gayness from the television? Are they saying kids will become attracted to "square butts" instead of normal rear ends (resulting in either asexuality, phone-book stuffing, or drastic plastic surgery)?

I do agree that the BurgerKing "king" is extremely creepy. I've had nightmares about that BK King mascot-thing raping me in my sleep. Ugggghghghghghg.... creepy.

May 09 2009 at 1:49 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

LOATHE this commercial. I love Spongebob and probably would have gotten a real kick out of this, if they hadn't inserted the dreaded, pathetic King.

BK's branding history is schizophrenic, to say the least. Without that stupid plastic thing it would have been fun. As it is now, it's just another reason for me to hit Mickey D's.

May 08 2009 at 9:52 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

The Burger-King King gives me the absolute creeps. Add to that creepiness the fact that he is dancing around with pubescent girls and talking about how he likes their square butts, and the commercial becomes way too perverted.

May 08 2009 at 9:18 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I freaking LOVE this commercial. It makes me laugh every time I see it. More importantly, it ties both the product to the promotional item which means it is effective advertising. So, whether you like it or hate it - it's working!

Now, if Quiznos would only bring back the Spongmonkeys... (and yes, I spelled it correctly, look it up).

May 08 2009 at 8:48 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I have two small children who LOVE spongebob and I think the commercial is hilarious. Come to think of it, spongebob is in pretty poor taste too. but it's funny.

Used to love that song. It is in poor taste too. whatever.

May 08 2009 at 7:58 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Seriously... I loved this commerical. Want to talk annonying? Let's talk Subway (who I'll give a free pass only because of Chuck) and Saved...by...zeerroooo.

May 08 2009 at 7:26 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

i wish i could erase this commercial from my memory it ruined to many great episodes of south park by playing 7 or 8 FRACKING times in one episode i really want jack to kick the hell out of the king now

May 08 2009 at 6:33 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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