Your TV is filled with burning debates that demand a serious answer.

Could the Dick York "Darren" kick the ass of the Dick Sargent "Darren," or vice versa, and without Samantha's help? Could KITT beat the car from My Mother, the Car if Top Gear's James May was driving him? Does anyone watch The Cougar and if so, is TV Land holding them hostage?

So here's another flaming question to throw on the mystery pyre: do you actually let your TiVo play its trademark sound effects?

When I first found TiVo (or did my TiVo find me?), the bleeps and bloops felt like a cheese grater being rubbed on my ear drum. It seemed unnecessary to have a sound event for every single movement and button on the operations' menu. I'm not operating the launch codes for a NASA satellite launch. I'm just trying to schedule a recording of Growing Pains. That reminds me. I need to do a future post on the dangers of TiVoing drunk.

After awhile, something was missing. Moving through the multicolored TiVo menus seemed hollow and lonely. When I realized I actually missed the sound, it started to feel very creepy, like I had refused my TiVo's right to use the electronic vocal chords that the god of Radio Shack had given him. My TiVo was screaming to be heard. He would have cried if he had tear ducts. And yes, my TiVo is a him. No female TiVo would dare let me watch anything on the Spike network without demanding an eye test.

So I turned them back on, and the universe seemed whole again. So I asks ya. Do you operate your TiVo sound on or sound off? And if you're wondering why I'm asking, it's because May Sweeps is over and it's a slow news day. If you feel like complaining, go streak the set of the Glenn Beck show and create some news and then I'll listen.