(S05E08) "Here I am. After. Surrounded by booze and dead assholes." – Tommy

This is the episode we're all been waiting for. After Tommy had a drink with Genevieve two weeks ago, it was only a matter of time before this happened – fortunately, we didn't have to wait for it.

Tommy's struggle with 9/11 and his place in history on that day has long been one of the the driving forces behind Rescue Me, but the focus on that has drifted in and out over time. Most everyone has applauded that plot's return this season, but one key element has still been lacking – Tommy's ghosts.

The hour was split up into two equal halves, and if you look at them as a whole, the ultimate connection drawn between them is a pretty significant step in truly understanding Tommy and why he is the way he is. It's easy to just write him off as an overzealous guy with a bit of a God complex, but consider where he's coming from.

Was he scared on 9/11? Probably. Did he stay behind on purpose when he could have been up in the second tower with Jimmy? Maybe. What it boils down to is this – 9/11 made Tommy who he is, not the other way around. Why? Because eight years ago, if he were the ball busting, macho, big dick swinging, man's man that he is now, then he'd be dead, too. It's precisely the reason why he's constantly known for such unsafe and risky heroics now – consider it a penance of sorts for not going balls to wall back then.

What I've always found interesting about Tommy's visions is that they're just that – visions. If he wanted, Tommy could be picturing his father, Johnny, and Jimmy however he chose, having them say whatever he wanted to validate his own feelings. But he doesn't. Tommy sees all those "dead assholes" as they were before they died and he subjects himself to these self-induced pity sessions where, essentially, he's only beating himself up.

The additional layer of Tommy's vodka and whiskey-drenched mind appropriating the image of that loser who stopped by the bar earlier as his son Connor was the real kicker. Tommy thinks so little of himself that it seems he's somehow convinced his own consciousness that had Connor not been killed, then he would have grown up to be a junkie. Not exactly a ringing endorsement of the confidence Tommy has in his own parenting skills. It's not unfounded, though, and he made that clear to his father, who only ever seemed to drink, cheat, and fight.

The ultimate question? Is Tommy a hero? Yes, absolutely. But why? He's saved plenty of lives since 9/11, and had he died on that day, who knows whether or not anyone else would have stepped up to take Tommy's place. There really isn't anyone else on 62 Truck that seems willing to try some of the crap Tommy has pulled over the last four seasons. It would seem, though, that quite often, Tommy's heroics don't necessarily stem from his desire to put himself in harm's way, but rather out of necessity. In the closing minutes here, it was because of Mike's stupidity by letting Damien walk around the building before all the floors had been extinguished. Tommy had no choice.

So what can you take away from this episode? Expect more from Tommy; that is to say, more of the old Tommy. For a while now he's been trying to purge who he was post-9/11, and it would seem that the fiasco at the bar (a.k.a. the incident with the Michael Moore-sized rats) coupled with having to save Damien's life (when he couldn't save his father's) should put Tommy right back on track just the way we, and Lou, like him: drunk and funny.